Terms of endearment

[Robyn]

Rather, we can call them definitions, but they’re often referred to as labels, and that’s when many have a strong opinion. We tend to not like labels and insist that we’re simply who we are. “We don’t need no stinking labels. We don’t need to be classified. We know who we are so don’t put us in a tidy little box.” Oh, but on the contrary I believe the terms used in our community to define gender and sexual orientation are in fact quite useful in the education of others. However, as new terms become common terms, definitions can become distorted, misinterpreted, and misunderstood.

I was taught early on by my mentor that I was a transvestite. She was an old gal who was well known and well established in the crossdressing community. However, her use of the word had absolutely no sexual deviation attached to it as most understand the word to have now. When broken down it has the exact same meaning as cross dress. However, for the simple reason that most see the word as a negative thing, I no longer use it to define myself.

Many other terms exist, and they’re often used with loose definitions, and take on slightly different meanings based on the individual. Genderfluid, genderqueer, bigender, male, female, dual-spirit, transgender, crossdresser, nonbinary, androgynous, etc., these are all terms I hear quite often around the LGBTQ and crossdressing community. Perhaps you fit in somewhere, perhaps you don’t. It really isn’t important, and it certainly isn’t mandatory.

There are two terms which I particularly like to define myself, and both are based on the fact that I express a uniquely mixed gender presentation on a daily basis; genderfluid and genderqueer. Sure, I present in a way that I’m taken for a woman, but other times I’m very androgynous. There’s no right or wrong way how one interprets their own presence, rather it’s having the ability to be sincerely you that matters. If you’re a crossdresser, transgender, or some other form of nonbinary status, please know that we are all in the same boat. We have an opportunity to represent as healthy ambassadors to educate the uniformed.

Be yourself, stay strong, and celebrate individuality.

[Carole Hill]

Hi Robyn,

Some of us started dressing in women's clothes so long ago that transvestite was the most commonly used term. There were a few attempts to coin new words to describe us but they never caught on. Unfortunately, the press (mostly) began to use transvestite in uncomplimentary ways in their reporting. Thus, many of us wanted to use new terms.

I do not think that any one term can adequately describe all of us. The spectrum of this behavior is so wide. I am a cross dresser but I am also a person that presents as a woman about 90% of the time. Am I a "pretend woman"? I certainly do my best to look like a woman and act like a lady.

[Robyn]

Some of us started dressing in women's clothes so long ago that transvestite was the most commonly used term. There were a few attempts to coin new words to describe us but they never caught on. Unfortunately, the press (mostly) began to use transvestite in uncomplimentary ways in their reporting. Thus, many of us wanted to use new terms.

I love this Carole. I have much respect and admiration for you. Your rich history has so much to offer, and I'm always listening. :-)

[Diana Michelle]

Society loves labels, make things so simple. For some it makes it easy for them to identify as one of the gang and for others to know who to be for or against. As much as I have railed against the tendency to label people I too am prone to labeling people from time to time. Sorry, guess I am human.

Robyn you are so correct. Each of us is complex and unlike any one else. Simply put we are individuals. I have said many times the time has come for us to stop seeing labels and see people for what they are. I believe Robyn and Carole you both understand this and have elevated your game so to speak and do this.

There will always be labels for a variety of reasons and it does help bring people with like interests and tendencies together. There is no harm in this if one looks beneath the surface and sees the individual there and understand it is not just this one thing that makes the person. As for derogatory labels? Try being Polish, blonde, and TG! Guess I am a triple threat.