If I was your wife

Penni SO · Post by **Penni SO** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:45 pm

Hi ya Ladies,

If I was your wife,and you had'nt told me about your dressing,how would you go about telling me??????
I want you to place yourself in the mindset...that it is time that I knew.

Hugs Penny
p.s have courage

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:06 pm

Hi Penni,
Well I will try and be brief. When Virginia (at first it was Deborah) anyway, she made her "presence known" I had more than a difficult time accepting her! I am an educated person and I just knew what was going on was not my nature - it was not "me" and I decided very soon after she invaded my mind with these words, "you need help and I (my feminine personna) am here to help you!" Why I needed the help is irrelevent. Anyway, I thought I have a computer and I have "Google" or something similair so off I went into a new (and now very exciting world) a world that I did not even know existed. After digging through many, many, many porn sites, I finally came across the now infamous CDDF site and then through what I can only define as sheer Divine intervention I found this site and through a lot and I mean a lot of reseach and reading and some participation I found that - hey this ain't all bad!!!! So I armed myself with some of the philosphers writing, i.e., Jung, Freud and others, one evening, picked my wife (now ex-wife) up at work and parked in the parking lot, turned the motor off and of course forgetting most of my "prepared speech" tried to tell her what this new aspect of me was about as I understood it. That is was a good thing, that it was giving me insight into another world, a universe that I had previously not understood or mis-understood, but now I was on a journey of understanding of her world and how and what made girls, girls. I asked her, yea! begged her not to tell anyone yet until she and I could talk more about it and learn more about it!
That was too no avail, as she within a couple of hours of my telling her, told her mother, (basically, "Momma, he said he likes to wear dresses") which, needless to say, is not at all what I said. Well she told her husband who the following week-end told her brother, who responded with and I quote, "If her hurts my sister I will kill him."
Numerous counselling sessions later and as of last October the ?13? we are now divorced after a 30 year marriage. In my own defense, she had developed or had been developing prior to my "coming out" to her a, what medical science has described as a swelling of the right frontal lobe of her brain. After they drilled three holes in her head, she lost her job, moved out and in with her 80+ year old parents is still on heavy medication it is over and in the interium I have met a woman who you know on this forum as SilverLady and to keep it simply we constantly ask each other" "just where the hell have you been all my life!?"
My story and I am sticking with it!
Love,
Virginia

PS: I don't know if you have read any of my previous posts about my divorce, but my ex, her father, a retired minister would, every Halloween for well I guess as long as I was with her, dressed up as a woman, and I mean full battle dress, wig, make-up, dress, heels. I had the "grace" to point this out to the family, that he was a crossdrersser and was immediately chastised for my astute observation with, "Well he only does it once a year on Halloween!" and my retort "How many times does it take?"

Post by **DonnaT** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:51 am

I reckon I'd start out discussing how people aren't always what they appear to be.

Then give several examples, starting with the Intersexed of which there are several types, and what causes some of these differences.

Then talk about crossdressers and transsexuals, how some of the causes of being Intersexed physically, appear to also cause the brains of the CDs and TSs to be different as well. And discuss the term transgender. And that there is no cure for being trans. I reckon I'd have on hand several articles of research regarding gender identity, genes and hormones to back me up.

Then mention that I was a transgendered cross dresser. And explain how I discovered this aspect of myself, etc. ect.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:11 am

Hi Penni SO,
Well sorry never in that spot and don't want to be, in my case I was caught and had to come clean.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this but I just don't know how long my loving wife will last (cancer).

Now what would I do if somebody came along, I don't know cross that bridge when I come to it. I guess that all depends on the person and how open mined they are and at our age she would just laugh. Guess I'll never have to cross that bridge.

DeeDee · Post by **DeeDee** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:14 am

awww Carol Ann..I just lost my last girl friend to cancer last week. We hadn't dated for the last the two years since we both knew Dee would be part of it..and she didn't like it. But we remained good friends...her passing hurt me a lot. But hopefully your wife will do fine...I didn't mean that as a negative post...just to comiserate. And i certainly wish her the best..my prayers are with her
And Penni..if you were my wife..as sweet as you sound with your questions and all. First off, I would have told you before we got too involved. Of course thats now what i would do..and do. In earlier years..LOL when we all were young and beautiful.....a girl like myself would have kept it a super secret. But.....we all know it will come out..its us. I am not married..and have no SO now..but I suppose I would just tell you one night that I'm still the man you married, but..theres a part of me that might shock you. And I'm sure it is a shock to many SOs, but we're not a different person..its just revealing more, and shedding shells. But..we are the person you loved before, and when its all done..with the shields down....it should be better for both. its not easy.
DeeDee