a cop out on manhood

[Stephanie W]

Your comment on women - I, too, have *never* heard a girl/woman ever say that they were a failure as a girl/woman.

In the context of the discussion, I would agree as I've never heard that either, but what about those SO's who question (or have questioned) whether they are 'woman enough' for their partner, after finding out they are CD's? Surmizing whether they went wrong somewhere and whether the 'problem' lies with themselves. Could this not be construed as a feeling of being a 'failure as a woman'? Or did any of you in that position see it differently. Just curious.

Stephanie

[Nina Femrite]

sometimes i wonder what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot. how would i feel if my wife came to me and said that she had the urge to dress and act as a man? of course, women often do wear masculine clothes, but what if her inclination to be masculine was similar to my disposition to be feminine? would i be shocked? probably surprised. would i be angry? i doubt it. more likely i'd be sympathetic with her confusion of gender. regardless, in no way would i consider her to be less of a woman. the physical, biological traits we're born with can only be changed by a surgeon, otherwise, we are male or female. that said, our gender is something different - we identify with or choose to act in whatever way we're comfortable.

[Stormy(SO)]

I love my life and I love my crossdresser!! We've been together for over 11 years and I'm always telling my girlfriends at work - we did this, we did that, we're doing this......most ask if he has a brother or we can clone him!! One day I flippantly said, well if my smoking and his cross dressing are the only secrets we have, we're in great shape!! They laughed and then one commented that must be why he's so much fun! We've never discussed it again and I'm sure they thought I was joking!! However, there you have it - we are an extremely envied couple because we communicate very well, have a great deal of fun, love, understanding and are in a totally committed relationship. ....and, btw, there you have the definition of a total, real man! It really isn't the outside in, it's the inside out!! Why have we stereotyped men?? He should look like this, he should act like that, he can only do this, real men don't eat quiche - pahleezzzzeeeeee!!

Stormy

[CJ]

Hi all,

Stormy wrote: ...and, btw, there you have the definition of a total, real man! It really isn't the outside in, it's the inside out!!

This what you had in mind, then, Stormy?



Love,
CJ

[Absaroka]

Nina you hit a nail right on the head I think. ANd I have to say I don't know how I would react if my wife wanted to present as masculine. I am very close and have been very attracted to women who are very tomboyish but for the most part they are merely strong women, not male wannabes and there is a big difference.

Absaroka

[Bethany]

For me going by what I imagine this lady's definition of what she thinks a man is, she is right. I have been living enfemme for decades, my wife has always known only the feminine me, and we have been married for 31 years. We have seven children, and they have always known me as 'mom'. They all love me, and we have raised them well. My oldest daughter and son are married and doing well. None of my children have shown any transgender interests or behavior yet, and though I have no problem with it if they did, I think that it proves that we do not harm or confuse anyone, not even our own children. But if I was supposed to go through life dressing and acting as a 'real; man, then I am a DEFINITE failure! So what is her point?

[Jacqueline Manesis]

My response. I was more of a boy than a man until I was man enough to accept my feminine side.