being one of the girls

[Chrissie]

For me crossdressing is all about feeling like a woman. I'm not actually terribly interested in clothes (true confession) except that I feel femme with them. I love women, and being with them, and identify with them. I've always been a good lover, a masculine lover, and it was only a few years ago that I shared dressing with a gf (after che found out i was wearing her bra).

That began a gradual process of understanding my feelings. In the months and years since, I've found my desires have changed from wanting to have sex with women, to just wanting to be with them, accepted as one of the girls...

I work with two twenty-something girls in a casual, professional situation. They are both pretty cute and sexy, and I've always been excited by them. Gradually I've moved from the male boss to more like one of the girls.

Of course I have a desire to tell them all, but I have to be careful, and so for a while, I've dropped hints. Not about dressing, but about feeling like one of the girls. At first joking, when I was angry about something I said...oh don't pay attention to the male ego stuff, just consider me one of the girls. She looked directly at me and said, "Oh, we do already." My head was spinning and I was very happy for days!

I didn't know just what she meant, it could have been just a light comment, but then I told one of them that honestly I do identify with women more than men. She seemed to understand something, but we haven't talked further about it much.

A few weeks ago, driving home with the other girl, she began telling me things about her sex life and history. It was like she was telling a girlfriend, and I found it very exciting to hear her talk that way. The other day, she talked about boy's penis sizes and how they mattered, and (she's small) how she likes to hurt a little. When I made a kind of male comment, she reminded me that I had told her that I'm just a little girl inside. I melted and said, "it's true."

The other girl, you could say, is a bit of a man hater almost, and can put out some very sharp barbs when my male ego shows itself. Since I told her that I identify with women, she's treated me harshly when I've been at all macho or acted liike a dumb guy. I've come to yearn for her to dress me down. I get red and flushed, but instead of rising up to defend, I grow quiet, relaxed. My head spins, because I feel my only defense is to secumb to my feelings as a woman.

Today, she "attacked" me twice in front of the other girls, and the bookkeeper (who comes in part time), and I found it liberating and filled me with all kinds of feelings, head spinning. I loved being embarassed and, well, humiliated in a way, in front of the girls, and they responded by treating me warmly in a girly way after that.

Well, that's my story. I wonder if anyone else feels similarly?

Chrissie

[Jamie Sue]

Maybe she has figured you out, however maybe she is tyying to control you at the same time? Not sure, you would be the better judge of that! Just my opinion.

[Absaroka]

I often feel more comfortable with women, however I never consider myself one of the girls. I enjoy the company of a certain type of woman a great deal. One that I can be honest with about how I feel about a myriad of things and can express senstive side to. The woman who was over for dinner the other night is a good example. One who will talk about who she is rather than trivia like her hair and nails.

I really have no patience or liking for women who will dismiss my feelings as " typical man" If they want me to accept how they feel as women about certain things then I expect reciprocity.

I've said this before here. The type of woman I really enjoy being with is usually a bit of a tomboy. My wife is a wonderful example. Pretty and sweet and sexy but if digging in the garden means trashing her nails and getting dirty and sweaty well that's just how it is. Or another friend, a very warm and emotionally cuddly woman I've known half my life who whenever she comes over for dinner feels it's terribly rude to come to dinner without bringing something. So she kills something, brings it over and we eat it.

Most of the men I am close to are very similar in temperament. Open to how you feel if you want to discuss it and that sort of thing.

So yeah, I enjoy being one of the girls. But I have very different taste in women than some. Probably an even better way to put it is I prefer people who relate to me as a human being first and a man 2nd, but still enjoy the male female dynamic.

Absaroka

[Chrissie]

Maybe she has figured you out, however maybe she is tyying to control you at the same time? Not sure, you would be the better judge of that! Just my opinion.

I'm not sure what you mean, Jamie Sue, by figured out AND control a the same time?

chrissie