Are you satisfied with your presentation, your looks?

[Lydia]

Mirror, mirror, on the wall..."
When dressed en femme, I look in the mirror and see a presentable "mature" lady --- I look again and see an old geezer in a dress. This is fantasy vs. reality. I'll take the fantasy - besides it makes me look younger.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Susan]

error - how can I delete this?

Smile sweetly and ask your friendly neighbourhood admin - you know I do not bite Lydia.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Lydia -

I have deleted your post as you have requested; however, as Susan is this sub-forum's Co-Moderator, she could have (and should have) done it, too.


- SL

[Lydia]

I erroneously submiutted the same post twice. It seems to me if the author of a post can edit it, it should be easiy deletable. I tried erasing the text, but the system requires an entry.

Hugs,

Lydia

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Lydia -

Members have the ability to delete their entire post by themselves - provided there are no other posts made after the one in question. Jut click on the "X" in the upper right hand corner of your post.

Once someone has made a post after yours, the "X" is no longer visible to the member. At that point, only the forum's Moderator(s), or the Site Admin, have the ability to delete the post in question.


- SL

[Absaroka]

I've gotten a couple of wolf whistles in male mode when I was younger. Not a compliment, more a challenge.

Zari

[Jennifer M]

When I am being Jennifer and I look in the mirror I usually see the male part of me.I get very confused by this because anyone who has seen me dressed say that I look nothing like my male self.In fact many people who have seen Jennifer or her pictures say I pass just fine,My girlfriend Ann is included. Once in a great while I do see what everyone sees and it amazes me.I get very very upset by this(not seeing Jennifer) and it will be a great relief when and if I can accept my looks as is.

[Anthony Simon]

So I thought about this some more...

There's definitely a line that says photographs can lie...But I'm not sure that doesn't apply to professionally done and tweaked ones. So it doesn't remove my problem of looking quite different in the mirror and a photo - when I'm dressed up at least. Without all the stuff on I can see a relationship but there are distinct differences.

I think my face looks more angular in photos and also there are elements in it that kind of get accentuated and I'm not too keen on. I think these are probably the key elements to work on when it comes to passability - and ones that when I'm looking in the mirror I seem to manage to de-accentuate by the way I set my face. When I cover up my squarish, lean jaw with my hands, my face looks immediately more feminine - as an example of something that works against my passability. There's also the question of nervousness and tension - and I'm quite a nervy, tense person, which comes out in a photo because I don't really like being on display and not so much in the quiet of my own room when I'm just looking at the mirror.

But I also think a camera can lie in the sense of creating harsher, more contrasty images in which the colour is bleached out, particularly if used with flash. Since so much of the "feminine" aspects of my presentation in my made-up face come from the added colour in blush, lipstick/liner and mascara/eye makeup, the result of using a camera with flash is to diminish, strongly, how feminine my face looks.

There's a funny thing that happens when I look in the mirror and I'm all made up, wig and everything. I kind of hypnotize myself into a kind of female expression. It seems like I kind of mould my face into what fits with the makeup so that, overall, an illusion of femininity is produced. The trouble is, perhaps, the way the camera sees my face is quite different from the way I do when I look in the mirror - so that I'd actually have to use different makeup and kind of mould my face a different way.

I do think there are examples of men who don't look any more feminine than me, basically, achieving a passable look. But I think it probably requires more self-knowledge and a bigger commitment than I've so far put in.

[Anouk]

I see my feminine side in a mirror, underlining my small and skinny body shape (with some extra filling, of course....). My face changes a lot, too, mostly because as a man I'm bold and with glasses. When I look at myself I'm in a way able to ignore my male features that are still showing under makeup.

However I'm perfectly aware of the fact most of people that happen to look at me at near distance can instantly see I'm a man. And that is just because of my face, my body is completely passing.

The photographs are another issue. I have noticed that the wide-angle lens makes my big nose even bigger and when situating in the side of the photo the shape of my face bends unpleasantly. So I use mostly slight zoom to make my face more natural... and take a lot of pictures to choose the right ones

[Anthony Simon]

I see my feminine side in a mirror, underlining my small and skinny body shape (with some extra filling, of course....). My face changes a lot, too, mostly because as a man I'm bold and with glasses. When I look at myself I'm in a way able to ignore my male features that are still showing under makeup.

However I'm perfectly aware of the fact most of people that happen to look at me at near distance can instantly see I'm a man. And that is just because of my face, my body is completely passing.

I'm not sure what you mean by this, Anouk. I've seen your pictures for a bit over a year (even before I came here) and there seems to have been a big change (improvement) in your passibility. Is that because you got a lot better at your makeup or what? If that's so, wouldn't it imply that you also became more passable in person - and if you took it further that one day...

I have noticed distinct shifts in my passability when I look in the mirror. In part this is down to better technique (and a better mirror!), but there also seems an element which has more to do with emotional changes within me. And I'm not sure if that's not the key thing. I mean, of late, I've been able to make the expression on the left side of my face look kind of feminine by getting rid of the masculine cynicism that had previously dominated it. Also, just once, a look of sweet womanliness has got into my face (last night!).

I don't know, are you saying there are masculine lines in your face that can't be disguised - or is it a question of "masculine" expressions that makeup can't get rid of (which has been my problem)?

[Paula G]

Or is it just that as we do this more we become more comfortable and less self conscious, and so draw less attention to ourselves

[JoAnnDallas]

When I look in the mirror when I am dressed, I do see my male self but I also see my fem self. Only once in the years I have been going out en fem have I had a negative result. otherwise I am treated as the lady I am presenting. For the last year I am dressed as JoAnn every weekend except when I have to be around family. My wife is fully supportive and we go out together everywhere we would go if I was dressed as a male. I now attach my breast forms onto my chest on Friday evening and I don't remove them until Monday morning. Transgender people have fully protection here in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area and even the police are very supportive. IMHO is comes down to this. If you believe in yourself, then going out en fem is your right.

Hugs,

JoAnn