Fetishes

[Wendae]

I agree with Donna! At one time I was into latex bondage. Mostly solo as my wife wasn't a fan. It's expensive and no real fun without a partner. Don't hurt anyone and be very careful.

[Anne Bonny]

A fetish according to the Oxford Dictionary is a form of sexual desire in which sexual pleasure is gained from an object, part of the body, or activity. Something a person is excessively devoted to. An object worshiped for it's supposed magical powers. I would say I feel a hightened sense of sexuality when dressed, I have enjoyed having relations and feeling feminine while wearing a satin chamise or night gown. Gender is the state of being feminine or masculine, male or female. I believe I prefer and envy women because they are beautiful, they accentuate their beauty and are the ones who have all the options at their disposal the heighten and enhance their beauty, their attractiveness. Very much like a pleasing display made to attract the opposite sex, to entice men as their traditional role is just this. Passive, submissive - at dances they await and hope with expectation for their prince charming to ask them to dance, or out on a date - along the way they turn down those they are not interested in. They send signals to prospective men - I am not sexually interested, we can be friends, or go away I don't want you anywhere near me, or they smile, make eye contact, become somewhat demure, chatty, interested and inviting a man they want as a partner hoping they will indeed respond. To say that Crossdressing is a fetish if some of us are sexually aroused by it, is too simplistic - I believe we envy women and desire the art of making ourselves attractive and hoping someone will come along and sweep us off our feet - in my case a woman who likes to occasionally step into the opposite role and take the lead. Arn't women sexually aroused by this entire process and yet we do not call what they are doing a fetish. A fetish I remember reading is not being able to achieve arousal without dressing, or use of an object. Of course we are aroused but we lack a partner a prince(cess) charming, women pleasure theirselves on ocasion there are all kinds of sex toys I have heard women talk about - vibrators, or various ways to bring on a climax but are they fetishists? So though I do indeed do the same on occasion I do not believe I am a fetishist but indeed a crossdresser who inside shares many feminine traits with women. I actually prefer to be in the company of women more than I do with men. That's my two cents. And a kind of rebuttle to Silver Lady - RESPECTFULLY, sincerely I disagree or have a different opinion - perhaps I misunderstood one of her posts. Those who dress and have absolutely no sexual arousal are indeed transexuals or transgendered children who very definitely feel they were born in the wrong body and for whom womens clothing - for them is just clothing and nothing more. I believe that is the difference between transexuals and crossdressers. Yet like women, transexuals experience the same feelings, emotions, and are aroused similarly, Crossdressers perhaps have a hightened degree of arousal but for most all this does not constitute a fetish. finding pleasure, enjoying and savoring the experience of feeling feminine and the feminine role is probably not that much different and I would not call us transvestic fetishists, because we are sometimes quite masculin in dress, manners, and our feeling about women, and can be prince charmings in full male, masculine whatever....

[Gillian]

Anne Bonny, your comments were just the type of responce I was hoping to get by the questions asked. Considering all the reasons for doing what we do, and backgrounds that we all come from, there would have to be just as many thoughts on this subject. My mixed emotions on the subject have personally caused me to change my own mind several times. In looking for a "healthy" middle ground, information input is always helpful. Part of this boils back to the age old question of why some of us dress to begin with. Even that has no definitive answer, as one time personally,I dress for one reason, and another time for a different reason. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that many what black and white answers in a world of various shades of gray.

[Anne Bonny]

Thank you, I was about to edit in some more thoughts Women are programmed in a certain way, of course how men and women think and act or react differs because of brain structure as well - studies have supported some behavior are indeed more nature than nurture, but it may also be true that the degree of that natural behavior, may vary so that both sexes to one degree or another have feminine and masculine behavior and thinking that tends to be associated with that of the opposite sex. Some women are born leaders, competetive, even agressive, and some men are the opposite of that for instance.

Another thought is that women are brought up and allowed to wear any clothing they want - it is not uncommon for women to admit on occasion such things as I bought this in the men's department. In the military they used to wear male fatigues, though now designs are changing to fit the female form better, or what about chain food stores where women may wear a man's polo with the logo? Men on the other hand are absolutely forbidden this freedom through programming, societal mores, even verbal criticism. Is it any reason Men are so timid about purchasing and openly wearing items of female clothing? Yes, it can lead to fear, shaking, humiliation if they are discovered in women's clothing. Therefore Men absolutely do have hightened arousal or pleasure from wearing clothing which never should have been forbidden or discouraged from wearing in the first place. Society must, and is finally beginning to recognize reality - there are men who are sensitive, passive, or other feminine traits and want to wear dresses, apply make up and join the female world to one degree or other and they have every right to hope and to expect complete recognition and acceptance of this fact by society with absolutely no fear of rejection. So again Some of what may seem a fetish is that men must work through a coming to terms with all of this before they can see their wearing of women's clothing etc as something completely normal, just part of who they are as a person. Once society recognizes and accepts this the sooner more women I believe will come out and admit they find such men attractive and desirable - not all women but more than do so today. IMHO. Anne

[Anne Bonny]

Thank you, I was about to edit in some more thoughts Women are programmed in a certain way, of course how men and women think and act or react differs because of brain structure as well - studies have supported some behaviors are indeed more nature than nurture, but it may also be true that the degree of that natural behavior, may vary so that both sexes to one degree or another have feminine and masculine behavior and thinking that tends to be associated with that of the opposite sex. Some women are born leaders, competetive, even agressive, and some men are the opposite of that for instance.

Another thought is that women are brought up and allowed to wear any clothing they want - it is not uncommon for women to admit on occasion such things as I bought this in the men's department. In the military they used to wear male fatigues, though now designs are changing to fit the female form better, or what about chain food stores where women may wear a man's polo with the logo? Men on the other hand are absolutely forbidden this freedom through programming, societal mores, even verbal criticism. Is it any reason Men are so timid about purchasing and openly wearing items of female clothing? Yes, it can lead to fear, shaking, humiliation if they are discovered in women's clothing. Therefore Men absolutely do have hightened arousal or pleasure from wearing clothing which men should never have been forbidden or discouraged from wearing in the first place. Society must, and is finally beginning to recognize reality - there are men who are sensitive, passive, or other feminine traits and want to wear dresses, apply make up and join the female world to one degree or other and they have every right to hope and to expect complete recognition and acceptance of this fact by society with absolutely no fear of rejection or repercussions - even if in the beginning laws must be written to protect our rights from being discriminated against, hate crimes, etc. So again Some of what may seem a fetish is that men must work through a coming to terms with all of this before they can see their wearing of women's clothing etc as something completely normal, just part of who they are as a person. Once society recognizes and accepts this the sooner more women I believe will come out and admit they find such men attractive and desirable - not all women but more than do so today. IMHO. Anne

P.S. like things that follow us from how we were raised we are psychologically impaired and many will never overcome this timidity, or have to muster a little bit of assertive aggression to live as we desire - damn slings and arrows - I'm doing this!