Have you ever been harassed while out en femme in public?

[Charla]

I've read a lot of the posts about going out dressed in public, and in most cases it doesn't sound like anyone has been hassled. Is the public now accepting crossdressers, or do the girls who go out able to do a better job of passing ???

[Star]

I think most of the girls do a great job of passing as a woman. The general public is to wrapped up in what they are doing . People don't notice who is around them . I go out as a guy in a skirt ,,,no one makes any comments.

[Carolynn]

I have only been accosted once, and that was shortly after I went full time. That is distinct from being "read", however.

The occasion of the harrassment: I was standing in checkout line in the Wonderful World of Wally just before being checked through, and three young people with fraternity shirts (on the males) and a young woman lined up behind me. The one nearest me apparently thought he would be cute in front of the girl, and said loudly, "Hey you ever been a Man"? I looked at him and said, "Why no. Have you?"

He blushed very heavily as the girl and his buddy laughed at him, the checker laughed at him, and a couple of people in the next line did as well. He left the checkout line and went waaayy down to the other end of the row of checkers, and his friends were still giving him a hard time.

The checker was still chuckling and was veeerrryy friendly, and still is. She never fails to chat while she checks me out, takes the time to double bag heavy things and frozen food, and is otherwise very nice.

Generally, I do not go places where people are drunk, like clubs or bars, and so I do not often run the risk of encountering people who are likely to take exception to me, if they read me. Bars and clubs is where you are most likely to encounter pot hole.

A few kids in the 9-11 year old range have read me and stared at me, but a smile usually disarms that, and very young kids in the two to three year old range seem to think I am "grandma" and smile and hold their arms out to me to be picked up. Teenagers tend to cluster together and snicker if there are three or so, but I have not been followed around like some people have reported.

[Anita]

That was soooo good, Carolyn! I was laughing, too.

I've hardly ever been harrassed in seven years of being out there. I do pick and choose where I'm going, though, and I sometimes avoid potential bad situations.

[MsJoann]

It happened once this early summer. I was not particularly looking as good as I wanted but decided to go out. In a shopping plaza, where there were 2 questionable bars...I was walking across the parking lot and heard some woman laughing real loud. She was sitting in her car getting a laugh at my expense, of course after reading me.
So....I walked up to her window, lifted my skirt and flashed my bum, then turned around, grabbed my boobs and shook them really good for her.
I knew she peed her pants laughing...I was laughing pretty good too.
I turned what would have been a traumatic situation into a funny one. Bet she's still talking about it to this day.
My little comedy sketch worked for that one, but I'm not sure it would have worked out that well with a bunch of drunk bikers. So be careful.

[Absaroka]

Gee I sometimes get harrassed walking around in total guy mode, especially by teenage boys in packs of 6 or more (as compared to Virginia's description of teenage girls in packs of 2 or more.) So I wouldn't think of going out in drag.

I imagine it depends on where you are.

Absaroka

[Kendra Lynn]

Hello all: I have been teased by young black men on the METRO subway in Washington, D.C. This has happened too often to be a coincidence. That is the one group I really have to be wary of. Teenagers of all sorts can be problematic too, but it's the young black men who have consistently been troublesome. I'm sure there are sociological/psychological reasons for this, but when you are faced with an immediate situation, it can be quite unpleasant.
I have also had the experience of young black women complimenting me on my total outfit or shoes-- as in where did you get the boots? I suspect some may not have been sure of exactly what they were seeing until I spoke. I don't make much of an effort to disguise my voice-- it is difficult to concentrate on creating a believable feminine voice while also thinking carefully about exactly what words I am saying.
I have received "stares" from people who did not interact directly with me. I have heard giggling and spoken remarks from people who thought I couldn't hear or wasn't listening...
I have also been asked questions by strangers waiting for METRO trains.
Every time CD's are "out and about," we are doing "outreach." I have become more pro-active about this.
And "Hippie Cheerleader" has become a minor icon in the Washington, D.C. area, since I do attend peace marches, environment/global warming/civil liberties protests, the PRIDE festival, and other appropriate events. Of course a cheerleader outfit is hard to hide (or "blend in" with) and I have been teased more often while wearing cheerleader outfits.
Of course I would never go to a sports bar cross dressed, but that's just common sense. There certainly are parts of the D.C. area that are safer for CD's. Takoma Park, Maryland, north Arlington, Virginia, "old town" Alexandria, Virginia, and of course the Dupont Circle neighborhood of Washington, D.C. are the most er... "accepting" areas.
I have not figured out how to deal with young children.
Does anyone else reading this ride public transit while cross dressed? Encountered any problems?
Best wishes for a HAPPY AND SAFE HALLOWEEN ("ST. CROSSDRESSER'S DAY") to everyone.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn ("hippie cheerleader").

[KimberlyS]

I've read a lot of the posts about going out dressed in public, and in most cases it doesn't sound like anyone has been hassled. Is the public now accepting crossdressers, or do the girls who go out able to do a better job of passing ???

Charla, I have been lucky and not had anything negative or been hassled while out. And I have been going out since early 2000. IMHO the general public is much more accepting or tolerating than we give them credit for.
I get many looks of surprise, questioning, and disgust. And yes I have had some comments directly at me, but mostly mumbled after we pass. But in general my experience has been present a decent feminine look and the rest is attitude and person acceptance. Some need to pass the gender shift , ie the point of being made. But for most IMHO their acceptance/tolerance starts where mine is. If I am comfortable being out and doing what I am doing they seem more comfortable / tolerant of it.

As to where I go I stick to most mainstream public places with a variety of people. And in general stay away from places with lots of alcohol consumption. Sticking to more family style restaurants earlier in the evenings. I try to present a decent feminine look that blends in well for the places I will be at.

[Amelie-Laveau]

Yea, I get hasseled, but then again, I go to places where one gets hasseled. I only go out late at night to areas that aren't the best places to walk, but sometimes one has to walk where they don't like, especially if they gotta go to work. And I live in a bad area where guys are pigs, even ggs are hasseled in my hood.

But one can't let it get to you, ya gotta live your life. I would rather be hasseled in the streets than die a lonely life in my closet.

PS-- Guys also grab my butt on the crowded bus,, is this considered hasseling?

[CherryLynn]

I have only gone twice enfemme and both times with other girls.
Once to "Night of a Thousand Gowns' and to Lucky Chengs in NYC.
We didn't have any problems but we did get quite a few stares from some so called Str8 guys. At first i was a nervous wreck but become comfortable with my femme appearance. Having the support of other gurls made it so much easier.

I haven't gone out en femme since moving to Nj but i hope to soon.

[CherryLynn]

Kendra

I will be visiting Washington DC on my vacation so it's nice to know about Cd friendly neighborhoods.

[Jaye]

I've never been harassed as such, but I get the occasional bit of negativity here and there. I didn't get it so much in Charlotte, but Hampton Roads is not as... cosmopolitan, for want of a better word. People there were always a bit more understanding, at least in my experience. It's not unusual on one of my outings to hear snickering or outright laughter, or the occasional sotto voce "That's a man!" It used to bother me, but my skin's gotten thicker since then. I usually smile, wave and go on my way.

[DonnaT]

My second time out was in Vegas. Coming down from my room at the hotel in the elevator, a young group got on, and one of the guys, upon seeing me, decided to put on a show by wedging himself into an opposite corner and acting like he was trying to climb out.

I just stood there silently thinking, "Idiot!"

[JoAnnDallas]

So far I have not had any form of harrassment. This was one of my wifes biggest fears when she decided to accept my CDing. Since then she has been releived that everyone we have met has responded positively.
It is always in the back of my mind when we or I go out. I know that one of these days someone WILL make a fuss. As long as it is verbal and not physical, I plan to ignore the idiot and continue on my way. I have found that usually they do it to gain anntention and when they don't get it they get fustrated and leave.

The only time I got harassed was when I came back from vietnam in 1969. I got all kind of verbal abuse. Just goes to show you, that it can happen to anyone. It also shows that attitudes can change for the better. I would not even dare say to a current soldier what people said to me back in 1969 or other people would tramp on me. LOL

[Gaven McLaren]

I have not really been harassed when wearing fem clothes out. As I have stated before I do not try to pass. The only thing that is even close is when I was at my mothers and we had gone to FL. We stopped to get some coffee while we were out shopping and two ladies were making kind of quite comments. It was nothing big. My mother turned to them an said "Yes he is a man in a skirt. He wears it because he wants to." I love my mother for sometimes being as blunt as a sledge hammer.