Having / not having a sister?

Robyn Katie · Post by **Robyn Katie** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 1:22 pm

Let me preface this by saying I’m aware that TG, TS and CD tendencies are strongly attributed to genetic causes. But, over and above genetic predisposition:

1. How do you think having / not having a sister may have influenced you in your gender feelings and choices?

2. Do you think a boy is more likely to cross genders in some respect, particularly CDing, if he has a sister or hasn’t a sister? Or does it make no difference?

Here’s the reasoning behind these questions. Many of us on this forum, including me, are fascinated with women, admire them, love to be around them, and hold them in great esteem. Now, could the fascination with women that so many of us share could be due to NOT growing up with girl siblings? Were the majority of us sisterless?

I base this in turn on what I have often been told by some guys who had sisters. They can be very loud in talking about how they were turned off by girls’ dirty socks, shrill voices, demands for attention -- in some cases bullying -- not to mention bras hung on the shower rod, clamoring for clothes, cluttering up the house with boyfriends, the whole lock, stock and barrel of having a girl in the house.

(Indeed I have also been told that incest fantasies are largely felt by boys who never had sisters and by girls who never had brothers. That the mere presence of the opposite-sex sibling in the house nearly always destroys any romantic or sexual longings one might feel for a sibling, and often any respect as well. But this is just a side observation, so please don’t make incest the point of this thread.)

I know from reading many threads here that some of you did indeed grow up with sisters – even, in many cases, began CDing by trying on a sister’s clothes. I didn’t have a sister. (I always wanted one, even pestered Mother for one when I was little. Seemed easy enough to me at the time.) Thus my curiosity.

So,

3. Has having/not having a sister had an influence pro or con on your CDing?

4. And do you think familiarity with siblings tends to breed contempt for women? Does this play out in society in men’s disrespect for and mistreatment of women – i.e., are those misogynistic men more likely to have grown up with sisters?

Love, Robyn Katie

Jennifer · Post by **Jennifer** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:14 pm

Some interesting points here. But I'll just say I grew up with three sisters and three brothers.

The boys shared the basement, one room for four boys. The oldest girl had her own room, the younger ones shared a room.

The girls were allowed to have friends over, the boys were not.

The boys had to mow lawns, shovel snow and do odd jobs for pocket money. The girls got allowances even though they made money babysitting.

The girls had bikes bought for them, the boys bought their own.

The oldest girl had a typewriter bought for her because she needed it to practice on for school stuff. I was taking auto mechanics and had to buy my own coveralls.

It was clear to me at a young age that being a girl had lots of benefits. I have no idea if this is what got me crossdressing but I have to say I never had any contempt for my sisters or women in general, a feeling of unfairness was more like it. As I look back my parents were teaching the boys to be providers and to be fair our house was small so it made sense to have us all in the basement. As to how men in genreal treat women I suppose upbringing has a lot to do with it but not all of it. Some of it is cultural and if you look around the world not much has changed for some women in two thousand years, sad isn't it.

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:18 pm

I was the eldest by 11 years, and after my sister's first 6 years, I was rarely home due to college and military. I knew of my difference between mind and body from about three, and went through depression that her antics sometimes helped with. But she had little effect on me as either an annoyance or a role model. She was mid teens by the time I was again around her on a regular basis, and I found her obvious little ploys with my parents and with her friends amusing. While in the military I would send her occasional letters addressed and with topics only for her. She would sometimes write me back. And small souvenier type gifts from my travels would find their way to her.

The only effect of her presence on me that I can recall was that I was a bit jealous of her, since she got all the prezzies I always wanted, but I got boy stuff and clothes instead. But there was such an age gap between us that it was not until she was nearly grown that we sort of connected. I always loved her and treated and teased her as a little sister, but there was that gap in age and in the way we were treated, and the expectations for each of us.

I certainly do not find in my experience any contempt for women, as I have always felt I was one, though my biology was partially wrong. I shared with my sister issues of negative self image, though mine was not as easily overcome as her's. If anything I felt jealousy, though I also understood that we all have our problems despite apparent advantages.

Carolynn

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:21 pm

No lets said I was just bore and home alone when I found Carol

Gaven McLaren · Post by **Gaven McLaren** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:35 pm

I think my sisters have influenced my cross dressing somewhat. How ever being that I I have always wanted to wear my sisters clothes I do not think to much. My older sister has influenced my style. In school she was always very well dressed even though we did not grow up with much money.

Erin L · Post by **Erin L** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:07 am

I was an only child until my mother re-married when I was 18, and then I suddenly had a 13-year-old step-sister. We became a lot closer than step-siblings usually do, but it had nothing to do with my dressing. I had been dressing since about the time she was born.

I don't think there is a single cause of crossdressing. I think there are a number of common factors, and they resonate throughout the postings here. I think there are certain factors that make it easier or harder for some of us. Having an understanding and supportive older sister seems like about the best factor any of us could have, aside from understanding and supportive parents.

Angela · Post by **Angela** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:03 pm

I'm the youngest of a family of five, the rest being girls, female clothing was always readiy available. So having sisters was a definite influence on me. I wore dresses and skirts as often as I possibly could. And nothing, I'm very glad to say has ever happened to change that!

Erin L · Post by **Erin L** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:04 am

Angela, I'm just curious...did you start dressing because of the availability of your sisters' clothes, or did they actively seek to dress you?

Angela · Post by **Angela** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:03 am

Erin L wrote:Angela, I'm just curious...did you start dressing because of the availability of your sisters' clothes, or did they actively seek to dress you?

Erin, Talking to my sisters and my Mother they said that they never played "dress up little boy" games, and that I asked for dresses and panties as soon as I was able. Which leads me to conclude I'm a born crossdresser. Of course I can't prove it but I still think I'd be a CDr if I'd been an only child. But I'm so glad I wasn't. And not just for the clothes, I love my big sisters.

JenniferPL · Post by **JenniferPL** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:10 am

Other then the availability of their clothes, my sisters had no impact on my desire to be feminine.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:09 pm

I don't think older sisters have the same impact as ones that are close in age. My three sisters were 8, 12, and 16 years older than I was. So I didn't really learn about girls by being around my sisters--8 years is a major gap, when you're a kid.

Whatever caused me to CD was already there. I was fascinated by their clothing, because it was shiny and colorful, and I tried it on at 3 or 4. I remember trying to clomp around in heels. I probably had to sneak to do this, because anything to do with their rooms was a no-fly zone for me. Of course I got "caught"--I had no ability to rearrange all the clothing exactly as I'd found it. By five or so, I'd given up doing any dressing, and never thought of it again until 12.

The impact they did have was that it was easier to talk "woman talk," because I grew up with four women in the house all the time. My two brothers and my dad were nowhere to be found, most of the time.

Two of my sisters did put makeup on me, at about five. I wanted them to do it, and I remember liking it, and then crying and screaming at them to take it off. Very odd. Maybe I saw that it was not a direction I wanted to go at five. By then, I knew that feminine things were not "right" for a boy.

Different treatment? My dad quit teaching to run a television shop. All the boys were expected to learn to fix TVs, and keep shop. None of the girls ever did. Some of them might have liked to, but it just wasn't thought of.
It seems strange, now. I'm sure my dad would have appreciated the extra help.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 10:33 pm

I had one sister, 5 years younger than me.

CDing wasn't about my sister, it was about my feelings about my mother.

No one ever played dress up with me, although I did instigate trying on my mom's lingerie with other boys in the neighborhood in the guise of calling them chicken. You can get boys to do almost anything with that word.........always wondered if that insult had anything to do with the term chicken hawk.

My dad was always very ladies first and don't hit girls even if they hit you first. It always struck me as very unfair and I wouldn't be surprised if the CDing had something to do with some sort of jealousy and a fascination about the power that women must have to make men fall for such nonsense. At the same time I enjoyed being a boy with the freedom to get dirty, play rough, and that sort of thing.

In late teens I was quite close to my sister and tried hard to be a good big brother. I credit that with making me comfortable with women as friends in a non sexual way. It was about that time I started to realize that men have a lot of advantages in life. Like I could walk home at night and she needed a male escort.

Absaroka

Erin L · Post by **Erin L** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:03 pm

Angela wrote:Erin, Talking to my sisters and my Mother they said that they never played "dress up little boy" games, and that I asked for dresses and panties as soon as I was able. Which leads me to conclude I'm a born crossdresser. Of course I can't prove it but I still think I'd be a CDr if I'd been an only child.

I would say so. I was.

Hugs,
Erin.

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:08 am

I have one sister, 18 months younger than me. It's unkown to me if having a sister influenced me. I really don't know if that was a contributing factor or not, but I'll say this:
I certainly enjoyed using her clothes! She was about my size most of our adolescent lives, and when we started to differ in height and weight, I was able to get things on my own.

Hugs,
Kyra

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:56 am

I had four brothers, no sisters. I am the second to the oldest.

So, no sisters to have an influence.