When I am in male mode I always have a place to put my hands - my pockets. It is all very natural. But when en femme, I always seem to be at a loss. What do I do with my hands and arms? I often feel awkward.
I was looking through the photo gallery and my guess is that I am not alone.
How do you place or hold your arms and hands for that natural look. I often carry a purse. I use a purse with a long shoulder strap and then I can hold on to the strap. Any other thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.
What do we do with our arms
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Amber
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What do we do with our arms
AmberNoel
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi Amber--
Your idea about the purse is the one I came up with, too. It's very comforting to have a shoulder-strapped purse, and I rest one hand on that.
Otherwise, I find myself with arms akimbo, which means folding them across my chest while I walk. This is very un-male; a man can and does fold his arms when standing, but almost never when walking.
As for posing for pictures--I sit down and put my hands in my lap. If I stand, I have one arm making a sideways "V," with my hand on my hip. Both arms straight down just seem awkward.
Your idea about the purse is the one I came up with, too. It's very comforting to have a shoulder-strapped purse, and I rest one hand on that.
Otherwise, I find myself with arms akimbo, which means folding them across my chest while I walk. This is very un-male; a man can and does fold his arms when standing, but almost never when walking.
As for posing for pictures--I sit down and put my hands in my lap. If I stand, I have one arm making a sideways "V," with my hand on my hip. Both arms straight down just seem awkward.
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Angela
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Sandra Jane
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Robyn Katie
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Hi Amber,
It depends on whether you are walking, standing, speaking/listening or sitting.
WALKING
Let your arms hang (very teenage) or drape with slight flex of the elbows, and swing arms a little but not much, everything very soft and graceful. (It's very male to swing them through a wide arc.) Shoulders down and back but very loose. Study the various CD teaching websites for feminine walk instruction.
"You’ll notice that the more feminine walk shows the hips rotating in a swinging fashion while the shoulders rotate in response."
-- From http://link.brightcove.com/services/pla ... 1782378417
STANDING
Almost nobody, man or woman, knows what to do with their arms when standing! You'll notice people fishing about with their arms, trying to look nonchalant. But try these possibilities:
1. Flex arms slightly at elbows so hands are at hip height, slightly forward.
2. One hand palm up in front (slightly above your navel), fingers of the other loosely resting in the palm or on the finger joints.
3. Hands on hips: fingers loosely relaxed to rear, knuckles turned in against hips. Another: palms against hips, fingers relaxed downward. But in general hands on hips are hard to carry off -- you might want to avoid it.
4. A few fingers lightly interlaced behind rump, arms not taut but loosely relaxed.
SPEAKING
Light upward hand gestures, fingers open.
General attitude of openness, lightness.
WHEN SILENT
Hands loosely before you, fingertips near or touching the fingertips of the other hand.
General attitude of eager listening, eyes soft, receptive.
SITTING
Hands in lap is fine. Also:
Hands loosely on chair arms, by sides (sit straighter, head high, it will look pert). NOT elbows akimbo! (a male habit). Don't stretch your arms out to the sides, as on a sofa, unless you let your hands go very limp and elbows with NO tautness.
GENERAL
Gracefulness is the key! Everything very soft and tender, no extreme extension movements. Make sure there is NO muscular tension.
TIP: Watch genetic girls (GGs) and see what they do! They're our best teachers. They're also very diverse. Some of the things they do with their arms are things that wouldn't look good for TGs to do, but much of what they do will work for you.
This is all off the top of my head, and tentative too! So others please feel free to disagree. None of us has the book on this.
Happy arm waving! (If you do that, eagerness and little excited jumps are feminine but kind of teenagey.)
Love, Robyn Katie
It depends on whether you are walking, standing, speaking/listening or sitting.
WALKING
Let your arms hang (very teenage) or drape with slight flex of the elbows, and swing arms a little but not much, everything very soft and graceful. (It's very male to swing them through a wide arc.) Shoulders down and back but very loose. Study the various CD teaching websites for feminine walk instruction.
"You’ll notice that the more feminine walk shows the hips rotating in a swinging fashion while the shoulders rotate in response."
-- From http://link.brightcove.com/services/pla ... 1782378417
STANDING
Almost nobody, man or woman, knows what to do with their arms when standing! You'll notice people fishing about with their arms, trying to look nonchalant. But try these possibilities:
1. Flex arms slightly at elbows so hands are at hip height, slightly forward.
2. One hand palm up in front (slightly above your navel), fingers of the other loosely resting in the palm or on the finger joints.
3. Hands on hips: fingers loosely relaxed to rear, knuckles turned in against hips. Another: palms against hips, fingers relaxed downward. But in general hands on hips are hard to carry off -- you might want to avoid it.
4. A few fingers lightly interlaced behind rump, arms not taut but loosely relaxed.
SPEAKING
Light upward hand gestures, fingers open.
General attitude of openness, lightness.
WHEN SILENT
Hands loosely before you, fingertips near or touching the fingertips of the other hand.
General attitude of eager listening, eyes soft, receptive.
SITTING
Hands in lap is fine. Also:
Hands loosely on chair arms, by sides (sit straighter, head high, it will look pert). NOT elbows akimbo! (a male habit). Don't stretch your arms out to the sides, as on a sofa, unless you let your hands go very limp and elbows with NO tautness.
GENERAL
Gracefulness is the key! Everything very soft and tender, no extreme extension movements. Make sure there is NO muscular tension.
TIP: Watch genetic girls (GGs) and see what they do! They're our best teachers. They're also very diverse. Some of the things they do with their arms are things that wouldn't look good for TGs to do, but much of what they do will work for you.
This is all off the top of my head, and tentative too! So others please feel free to disagree. None of us has the book on this.
Happy arm waving! (If you do that, eagerness and little excited jumps are feminine but kind of teenagey.)
Love, Robyn Katie
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SilverLady(SO)
- Retired Site Administrator
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- Location: Strange Magic Hill (Virginia)
Amber - When walking, I usually have my arms at my side, hand open (not in a fist, fingers naturally open), sometimes on my purse strap, but not always. When walking or standing, always keep an erect posture - head up, shoulders and back straight . . . it's a visible sign of confidence and comfort in yourself.
Anita - I've yet to see a GG walk with their arms crossed in front of them, although I have seen men and women standing this way. However, that body language (arms crossed) means the person is "closed" to anything being discussed, new ideas, it says "leave me alone", etc. It's a negative position, and one that should be avoided.
Angela - Rarely will you ever see a GG walking with their arm around their partner's shoulder, that is definitely a GUY thing!
Instead, their arm is usually around their partner's waist, or holding their hand.
Denae Doyle - http://www.femimage.com/
UDefineU - http://www.udefineu.com/program/index.cfm
(Hugs)
- SL
Anita - I've yet to see a GG walk with their arms crossed in front of them, although I have seen men and women standing this way. However, that body language (arms crossed) means the person is "closed" to anything being discussed, new ideas, it says "leave me alone", etc. It's a negative position, and one that should be avoided.
Angela - Rarely will you ever see a GG walking with their arm around their partner's shoulder, that is definitely a GUY thing!
Instead, their arm is usually around their partner's waist, or holding their hand.Denae Doyle - http://www.femimage.com/
UDefineU - http://www.udefineu.com/program/index.cfm
Virginia and I have mentioned this many times before, but it's well with the investment in obtaining the DVD's of Denae Doyle and/or UDefineU (we have both sets).Do you want to learn the secret to turning heads and leaving that lasting impression? Well, it all begins with Posture & Poise. How a woman moves and carries herself is directly related to the attention and respect she receives from others. Having proper posture and poise allows women to project confidence through positive body language. In this UdefineU video, you will learn key tips and tricks on how to project a graceful, more confident image, and to carry yourself properly at every moment. You will even look taller and thinner once you have mastered proper posture.
Proper posture and body placement
Graceful arm movements
Gesturing
Sitting
Crossing your legs
Standing
Walking
Descending a staircase and
Getting in and out of a car
Posture is the foundation of a woman's bearing. Proper posture allows you to carry yourself flawlessly at every moment. It is from there that graceful movement, or poise, emerges. That is why it is so important to master the key components that create an elegant physical image.
- - Excerpt from UDefineU home page.
(Hugs)
- SL
SilverLady(SO)
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi Silverlady--
I don't always feel outgoing, and I like the quietness of the pose. Besides that, it's a luxury to be able to do it at all. It's one of those things that men never do, but a woman at least has the option of doing.
Well, I wouldn't say it's a particularly outgoing posture; it's a protective kind of gesture. My sisters used to do it. One friend said his girlfriend would walk that way when she was self-conscious about not wearing a bra. My girlfriend echos that it's a protective gesture, to walk that way.Anita - I've yet to see a GG walk with their arms crossed in front of them, although I have seen men and women standing this way. However, that body language (arms crossed) means the person is "closed" to anything being discussed, new ideas, it says "leave me alone", etc. It's a negative position, and one that should be avoided.
I don't always feel outgoing, and I like the quietness of the pose. Besides that, it's a luxury to be able to do it at all. It's one of those things that men never do, but a woman at least has the option of doing.
Last edited by Anita on Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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CeciliaO
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Hi Amber,
I'm a new member here too, but not new to cross-dressing & and since it is my intention to be of service out of the gate, I'd love to reply to your question.
I also hold on to my shoulder bag straps and if I have just finished shopping my other hand is holding a bag full of goodies! Problem solved.<smile>.
Seriously,....... What I do when I need to work on this is go out on a recon mission, up to "Broadway", get a Starbucks and park myself on a bench. By the time my Venti is consumed I will have observed several hundred experts (gg's) show me the way. If I am not distracted too much by their plumage and forget all about the purpose of the mission, I go home and practice. When I think I have it down, next chance I get, I demonstrate what I've learned for a special GG friend for her approval. According to her, I still walk like a lumberjack and I look like I'm holding a shovel. So, what does she know anyway? I had fun trying.
Really, IMO, in addition to purchasing the videos mentioned, first hand observation & a lot of practice should do it... and if you have a video camera you can archive your progress. This can be amusing to watch sometime in the future!
PS. Hope you don't mind my "light" approach to your question.
Cheers, Cecilia
I'm a new member here too, but not new to cross-dressing & and since it is my intention to be of service out of the gate, I'd love to reply to your question.
I also hold on to my shoulder bag straps and if I have just finished shopping my other hand is holding a bag full of goodies! Problem solved.<smile>.
Seriously,....... What I do when I need to work on this is go out on a recon mission, up to "Broadway", get a Starbucks and park myself on a bench. By the time my Venti is consumed I will have observed several hundred experts (gg's) show me the way. If I am not distracted too much by their plumage and forget all about the purpose of the mission, I go home and practice. When I think I have it down, next chance I get, I demonstrate what I've learned for a special GG friend for her approval. According to her, I still walk like a lumberjack and I look like I'm holding a shovel. So, what does she know anyway? I had fun trying.
Really, IMO, in addition to purchasing the videos mentioned, first hand observation & a lot of practice should do it... and if you have a video camera you can archive your progress. This can be amusing to watch sometime in the future!
PS. Hope you don't mind my "light" approach to your question.
Cheers, Cecilia