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I was helping my wife get my young daughters ready for their dance recital today. Under the bright lights they need "stage make-up"--which means lipstick, heavy blush and mascara so they don't look all pale and washed out.

My wife was doing their hair with a curling iron (thank God for wigs, because I have no idea what to do with those darn things!). She was running just a tad behind, not late but in a hurry, and I asked, "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Well you can ... oh, never mind, you could never do makeup." I say, "Oh, c'mon, how hard can it be?" She gives me detailed instructions, and two minutes later the one daughter has perfect lipstick, blush and mascara--and I even took it a step further and gave her lip gloss. My wife says, "Wow, you do that pretty well!"

Inside I'm thinking, "You have no idea, sweetheart. I know how to do foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, concealer and nail polish, too." And little does she know that less than 50 feet away I have a stash of make-up that would put her collection to shame. She never wears much make-up, only what's completely necessary to look like she has a pulse. I'm also thinking, "Could life be more ironic?"

But what I say out loud is, "Oh ... I must have some kind of latent talent. Maybe it's from painting model cars when I was a kid ... or growing up with all those sisters."

Ladies, all I can say is, "Ain't life funny sometimes!!"

Peace and Happy Mothers Day,
Nikki

lol awesome.

Funny, ironic and that feel good feeling too, I bet.

It is a good feeling, but often quite frustrating. Here's my inventory of skills:

I can do make-up. I cook really well. I am a better housekeeper. The girls like it better when I do their ponytails--because mine are tighter and "sassier" (they sit higher on their heads). I've played a huge role in raising the children, to the point that they often slip and call me "mom." And my wife will sometimes look at the clothes I picked out for one of the girls to wear and say, "I've never had her wear that skirt and blouse together. It looks great."

Basically, my wife gets all the classically "feminine" skills I bring to the relationship, but I have to stay closeted (trust me, I do). If I were able to dress around her, I could be her perfect "lesbian lover." But alas, I keep my true self suppressed. I'm not bitter, just frustrated sometimes when I just want to slip into a pretty skirt and sandals and go for a walk but instead I sit and read the newspaper in my heavy, scratchy guy clothes.

Well, gotta run, the kids and I are making Mothers Day brunch.

Peace, sisters!

Nikki

Hi Nikky,

We can all take heart from how good you are at this and how natural it has become for you.

It really proves the truth of the cliche, "Gender is not destiny."

Love, Robyn Katie

Practice makes perfect, model cars can also be a challenge!