conundrum

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon May 18, 2009 7:06 am

I'm reading a book by Jan Morris called Conundrum about her experience of transition MTF. Very interesting. Somewhat mystically and ethereally writen which is kind of fun. She discusses how perception of her during transition varied in different parts of the world-she traveled quite a bit. Also talks about the whole process of becoming in a somewhat metaphysical way, of discarding the illusions of others perceptions. I was able to relate to that in ways having nothing to do with gender or dress and it reminded me of how sometimes I am becoming more who I really am and other times I am becoming more who I am not. Great book.

Absaroka

Jill S · Post by **Jill S** » Mon May 18, 2009 7:37 am

I'm in the middle of Deidre McCloskey's Crossing. She writes in an odd but very readable style. Crossing is her story of going MTF at 52 yrs old.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon May 18, 2009 1:34 pm

I liked parts of Diedre's book also although I got tired of the man bashing at times. She made some points that I have always remembered, especially the one about the tri ess dinner where the men sit around discussing their inner woman while their wives do the dishes.

Absaroka

Jill S · Post by **Jill S** » Mon May 18, 2009 1:52 pm

Just finished it, yes men do come off pretty badly in her view. One thing I don't get about her story and several others I have read is how some trans women gloss over the actual fact of leaving their wives and families. I don't like the "what if game" but can't stop thinking that if I were not married I may might be living as a women by now. I keep telling myself to just stop reading books and websites about being trans and be a real man, but I find I don't like being a man very much anymore.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Mon May 18, 2009 10:33 pm

Hi Absaroka and Jill--
We've talked of Crossing before. It was one of the first books I picked up after seeing that I was into new territory, and I didn't have a map. Deirdre's book fascinated me and scared me at the same time. I could identify with parts of her journey, so I was wondering if I was going to identify with her transition and SRS, too. It was hard to handle, not knowing what I was going to need to do for myself. Eight years later, I don't rule out anything, but I'm not concerned, either--I know who I am now.

I generally liked it all, and didn't really notice the bashing. I reasoned that when you've been a stranger among men for so many years, you don't have fond memories when you leave it behind.

Conundrum was a book my girlfriend had, and I read it late last year. I had always had trouble with Jan Morris' travel articles. You're saying she was "ethereal" --well, she was a bit too much so for me--she seemed hopelessly romantic and wrote vague but poetic descriptions. These were in Rolling Stone, years ago, and I was aware that she had transitioned back then. It was a mysterious thing to me, as I knew that she had been in the Everest expedition. At the same time, I knew that I did real-guy things, too, to counter-balance that 'other self.'

I liked Conundrum better than the travel articles. For one thing, I was prepared for her writing style. Second thing was, that style fit her life story better.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Tue May 19, 2009 3:22 pm

Anita wrote: ...
I reasoned that when you've been a stranger among men for so many years, you don't have fond memories when you leave it behind.
...
[

That is how I feel. I did not enjoy my male life, so it was not only easy to leave it behind, it was a huge relief.

Love always,
Elizabeth