Crossdressers-Haven.com

How unusual is it for a heterosexual male who will never pass as female (I have a full beard, long hair, unshaved body) to crossdress?
I would never go out dressed in female attire but I get great satisfaction and enjoyment dressing in all things female.
My wife knows about my desire to dress up and doesn't mind seeing me dressed.
I would say my number one reason for all of this is sexual, the second is just for the fun of it.

It's not unusual at all. And in fact, some CD will even dress and go out while still sporting facial hair.

Lose the beard. I did!

Your feelings sound a lot like mine. Enjoy, is all I can say. You're lucky to have an accepting spouse. And like me, just being dressed at home is the best. the first time I dressed in public was with my wife as "sisters" in square dance outfits at a halloween party, and I still had a beard. Did trim it as close as I could without being bald-chinned.

So have fun, be safe, and be as frilly as possible.

Rikki

We all have a place on "the continuum" and there is no right or wrong place. Some of us move from one place to another while others are content just to know that they have found a place on the continuum, and I will concur with my sister, having an accepting spouse is a reward that few of us may ever experience. Guard that treasure with all your worth.

Virginia

Keep the beard if it works for you and your wife. I agree with Virgina about "the continuum". Be who you are as a CDer. You do not need to be some one else, just enjoy. A huge plus your wife likes it also.

kim
joe in a skirt

I too have a beard, long hair, unshaved body.And at 6-3 I wouldn't pass anyway.

I suspect that most crossdressers have little interest in passing and that it's a private thing. Most I think also have no real desire past the fantasy level to be a woman.

The people who study these things have a statistic that about 1 % of the adult male population likes to crossdress and that 1 % of those people will someday transition. But no one really knows.

I think this site tends to attract members in certain positions on the spectrum. Folks in other positions on the spectrum are to be found elsewhere.

Ab

I'm glad to read the responses on this subject. With all the stories about shopping and other activities in public while dressed I was starting to wonder if I was the odd man (?) here. Your replies have assured me that I am not. Thank you all.

For me it starts with the enjoyment of wearing pretty clothes which utimately is fun. I enjoy wearing dresses, stockings and heels.

Fran

Willie although you and I may not be the norm at these forums I think in the larger group of crossdressers, which in the USA alone is probably at least a million men, we are pretty much the average guy.

Most of the folks here are heterosexual as are most crossdressers. I think it is maybe easier for an openly gay man to crossdress publicly as they've already broken a bunch of societies rules, what's one more.

All of which is fine and no disrespect meant to anyone here.

For me crossdressing is linked to heterosexuality but for a gay man it is not. And despite popular belief it's not about attracting other men. Therefore it's about something else. Drag Queens will often say that it's expressing an aspect of themselves which is just over the top theatricality and I think that is true for me as well. At some point wearing a dress is about being something I am not for a while. It's just that for me it's not about being Judy Garland or Ethel Merman or Madonna (Madonna has been described as a female drag queen) but about being another type of female entirely.

Excellent question on your part that got me thinking in a new direction.
Ab

As long as your not planning on going out among the public dressed, I say NO Problem, Have Fun.

I think me in a dress looks pretty silly. Done that have the Dress's to prove it.

6'5" 280lb. Pass? Only if they are blind and deaf.

But hey I enjoy wearing some of the clothes. Jeans, Underwear and some shirts.

Still a guy. Tried the fake female name and it just was not me.

I am sure some figure out some of the clothes, but who really cares?

Since I don't have to work anymore it's not like I am going to lose my job. But a couple of times I have noticed some Women with the same Jeans I had on!

Both of us Wearing Lane Bryant Jeans. Brought a smile to me.

DM

Hey, if the shoe fits...don't forget to match the purse.

Wear what you want, if it makes you happy. You don't have to buy 150 dollar shoes, a pro player replica basketball jersey/shorts set & build your own indoor court to have fun playing basketball, right?

If you're happy, more power to ya, girl.

I shave, but I do not go out of my way to look very feminine besides a little foundation and clear nail polish. I also shave my legs from time to time but that's all. I wish all men could just wear the cozy, comfortable womens' clothes. Then many of us wouldn't have to spend so much time Passing if they don't want any bad comments to go around.

It's a struggle to put this into words, but let me try ...

We sometimes have a hard time reconciling our outer appearance with our inner sense of ourselves. Each of us has blended genders in our own very personal way. But we're flouting not only society's stereotypes but our own.

It's hard to feel confident about our personal blend of genders when we're still partly trapped in the commonly shared expectations about some particular gender image. (Girls don't have beards, etc.)

Still, there's no way most of us can CD without fracturing those cherished images. In the end we've broken so many aspects of the female (and male) images we were taught, we're not consistent with anything except ourselves. That can leave us feeling uncertain.

The breakthrough comes in realizing that our new, gender-mixed image is fine, even if it is unconventional.

But even after that, we're still flouting all those expectations we never quite managed to unlearn. So the problem is: it can be hard to remember we really haven't somehow gotten it all wrong.

I try to think past all this, and remind myself whoever she is, it's just me.

Love, Robyn Katie