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I went shopping last week for nighties. Even during periods of not dressing I usually still sleep in nighties and panties or else I don't sleep well. My current ones needed replacing and I drove to a city about 50 miles away on a weekday afternoon so as not to be seen by anyone I know. I went to a large department store and picked out two pretty nighties. One was white with embroidery anglais and the other was a pastel green with flowery embroidery. I did not intend to buy anything else but on the way to the till I spotted frilly satin full bottom panties reduced to 5 pairs for €5!!! I couldn't resist and picked out 3 baby pink, 1 pastel green to go with the nighty and one black pair. I arrived at the till and joy oh joy the only woman in front was leaving and there was nobody behind me. The SA took my 7 items and scanned them. Two women queued behind me. I put in my card, entered my pin and the till locked up!!. More women arrived behind me. The SA apologised and said wait a moment it's probably just slow. We waited and waited. All my stuff was still on the counter and I was praying that she would stuff them in a bag. But she didn't. More women arived behind me and my pile of panties looked like a pink frilly mountain in front of me. 5 pairs of frilly panties take up a lot of space on a counter. My temperature began to go up and I could feel beeds of sweat building. She said I'll have to get a supervisor and rang the bell. The line of women began to loop around and I was been observed from all angles by what seemed like hundereds of women. I was hoping that they would think that I was buying for my partner but the pile of ultra feminine frillies in front of me told a different story. The supervisor arrived and looked at me and my panty mountain and then back at me again and the SA told her the till had locked up. I offered to pay cash but the machine wanted plastic. She rebooted the till and then decided to take me to another one. She picked up my nighties and then piled the panties on top of them and brought me past all the queuing impatient women to the spare till and began to scan the frillies back in again one at a time. Then after the transaction was complete the stash finally got put in a bag and I escaped without making eye contact with any of the hundereds of women that I had held up. It's a long time since I was so embarassed . I hope I never have to go through that again. I think I may have caused the problem. I did not wait for the card reader to request my card and I stuck it in probably at the same time the machine was switching to request it and that may have locked it up. Anyway I finally got back out to my car and I didn't know wether to laugh or cry. I wore one of the pink pairs to work the next day and it all seemed worth while in the end. But it's going to take some time to get over it.

Our worst nightmare!

Martina,

Several moths ago I got off work and went to Walmart to get something and decieded to check out to see if i could find a camisole. I went to women's section and looked to see if they had what I wanted. Since I did not know my size to well yet I got an XL and a 2XL and went to the register to check out. Since it was slow I went to the self checkout lane and when it was my turn I scaned what I had and for some reason it scaned one of the cami's twice. Not only did I have a SA come over to help me, the older man behind me started to put in his two cents worth. I was very embarrased to say the least. I could not get out of there fast enough. I know how you felt.

Too bad we are not accepted as normal. This would make life easier on us all. Best of shopping in the future to you Martina and everyone else!!

Erica

Martina,

First, my postion is that, unless the person that signs your paycheck was in line behind you and knew more about you than anyone else in the line, pardon my french, but "screw 'em!" They, as you pointed out, probably could not see the size so they first would not know who they were for, as most GG's have not got a clue about "us.," as their minds just don't work that way and second and a big SECOND, most of them were probably so jealous that I wouild not want to be their SO when they got home as I would bet some of those poor blokes, were sleeping on the proverbial couch that night, and really never understood why!!!! They were probably all thinking, "damn, I wish my (spouse, husband, whatever) would go out and buy me stuff like that" and that thought played on them all the way home to the point that when they confronted that "ne're do well" they had married, he got a piece of their mind and they are still wondering (like most men) "what the hell did I do to deserve that!"

Shop on girlfriend, our money is as potent as anyone else's!!!!!

Virginia

PS!!!! I have to ask you this, Martina,

How many of those women actually came up to you and ask you, "Are those for you!?" You did not say any did??!!

I rest my case!!!

You go girl!!!

Virginia

You are of course right Virginia but at the time I felt that they all could see the patern of my stretch lace panties through my trousers. They may not have said anything but you can be sure the majority of them thought I was a perv and that's all you can think off when you are there.

Probably most of us have had to deal with wardrobe acquisition in public places.

Try this on on for size: Near my mother's end of life, she sent me shopping for a front velcro-close brassiere. Since I really was shopping for her, I fully intended to tell anyone who asked that the bra wasn't my size, so it must be for my mother, and leave it at that. Nobody asked. I was almost disappointed.

On occasion, my SO has been ill, and needed feminine items. I've bought these without so much as a second thought, and nobody has asked.

Why is it that when I am shopping for me, I worry about what people will say? It's silly to worry, but it is also normal.

Hugs,

Bernice

Virginia wrote: How many of those women actually came up to you and ask you, "Are those for you!?"

I once had a young female sales assistant ask me that question , to which I replied "yes they ARE for me " .
The salesgirl blushed with embarrassment.

I have also been asked by a nosey Sales Assistant whether the purchases are for my wife, to which I said no, then with a smile, "For your girlfriend?" and again no.

Only then did it seem to dawn on her, but she smiled and handled the transaction. Because of her change in attitude I have been back to the store (a main line fashion chain) and made several purchases, and have been allowed to use the fitting rooms as well.

Enjoy your shopping, because it is your money, your choice and nobody's business but yours.

Bernice brings up something interesting. With a wife and two daughters I routinely shop for female products. Now no one is going to think tampons are for me, and when I ask women questions like where are they or is this the same as this (i often have to bring the boxtop with me to get the right thing) they are very helpful. Likewise I have often sought out female shoppers opinion or suggestions around Xmass or birthday times and get very pleasant responses. On occaision I've shopped for lingerie for my wife and the SA's have been pleasant and helpful.

After a while I realized that for many items no one would know that the items weren't for my wife.

Likewise I have friends in the theater. One in particular haunts Goodwill on the lookout for costumes, or more accurately, character clothing.

So on to me. Ever notice in most of the lingerie stores half the customers are men? Especially the ones that sell sexual aids? Who do you think they are buying things for?

A year ago I went to Zoe and Co, which is somewhat famous in New England. Lots of women travel from quite a distance to shop there. I called first and asked about men and was told that lots of their customers were men, buying lingerie for themselves. I suspect that in many womens clothing stores this is some sort of common knowledge. When I went there I had a long pleasant conversation with the store manager about this along with a bunch of other stuff.

A couple of times SA's at Walmart asked me if stuff was for me. Because lets face it, most women don't want to send some man out to buy them a bra. It's sort of like me buying shoes-I don't buy any that I don't try on first. Most of my bra's get worn with and extender. i like the more fragile ones and don't need the support that comes in my size which is 42 B. So I get 38C or 40B and use the extender. One time the SA looked at what I was buying and commented "You know these aren't going to fit you, right?" I don't know if she was joking or was trying to be helpful. I commented that I was sure they wouldn't. The whole thing became a humorous moment.

Most of the time I don't tell people it's for me. They may well think it is, we just don't talk about it. Halloween is an exception, and I've really enjoyed asking questions about stuff like bra fit at those times.

Some of the reaction has to do with the type of store. Walmart employees don't usually do a lot of customer service although I usually find them pleasant. Bare Neccesities, on the other hand is very friendly and outgoing. Often this may have to do with such non gender variables such as how busy they are. SA's get lonely and like to chat, and other times are exhausted and just want to get through the day, just like everyone else.

Zari

Hi Martina. How well I know the feeling. I bought my first Bra in Wal Mart

and the cashier pulled it out of the box and sort of waved it around so she

could see if I had not placed a more expensive Bra in the cheaper box. I

almost died.



Vieja

I love to shop with my wife. She is always helpful in picking out the right siize for me.
But sometimes when we are looking at clothes she will hold it up and ask if I like this it is your size.
I have got some serious stares from some women'
It seem like these women aways follow you to the cash regester to see if you but it.
But the same women are wearing jeans and a tee shirt . ( Men's Clothes )
For some reason I have never been treated badly by a woman in a dress or a skirt. ??????????????

maybe those girls in guyish clothes are CDers too and they find you the idea of you in womens clothes sexy? stares aren't always bad.

also erm jeans and t shirts are now gender neutral i think i mean a woman doesn't get called a CDer for wearing trousers...makes it actually quite hard for a female to go masculine style

Just think:
Now you can never by embarrased again.
As Virginia so pointedly put it

pardon my french, but "screw 'em!"

. Enjoy your shopping with the freedom of knowing that you are not to be embarrased again

Martina I think most of us have been there. And like you we made it through it to shop more times. I have learned my best defense, or is it offense, is to just give them a big smile. A second thing I have done is to repeat over and over to myself "there is nothing wrong with what I am doing".

My guess and experience is that most of the gals in queue behind you thought nothing of it other than being upset because of the register issues which were on your fault. Those that did notice thought it was for your wife/GF as it is Christmas shopping time. And if some ever does give you a questioning look, give them a big smile. It throws them off. It also shows them that you are ok with what you are doing. And IMHO others acceptance and tolerance starts with you and your acceptance of what you are doing.

So just relax and enjoy your shopping.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt