So...Last week I told the 1st person ever

[Rik]

Last weekend after a few beers I was chattin to my friend and his gf on ventrillo (internet voice chat 4 those that dnt know) and totally unplanned I said to him
"Right be serious, im gonna tell you somet and I dont know how your gonna take it..."

After a long pause and a lot of deep breaths I said it! "Im a cross dresser"

I was feeling scared at this point, it felt like time was standing still, after he'd digested it he basically said to me he didn't care what I wore, each to there own ect. It was great! I finaly told someone.

I knew he was open minded already, and I had stayed with him and his gf for about a month on a visit a year ago.
And now I can talk openly about it with him and his gf and they realy dont care.

The thing is I feel like I've opened a gate or something..Im having urges to tell more people,I'v even joined this forum!, Im my head this has been a huge deal for years, and im loosing sleep over it alot latley, and now im thinking maybe it isnt such a big deal after all, my emotions, feelings and CD urges are all over the place right now.

All I wanna do is go full femme(wig, shoes, makeup would be a first for me) here in my room for the 1st time and enjoy it, but I am unable to do so for a few weeks.

My house will be empty in about an hour til l8r and im thinking of jumping my mums wardrobe.

[Leeza]

Analise, as you become more accepting of yourself those feelings of guilt will pass. Becasue of what most of us are taught as kids we deal with guilty feelings for years.

I also know the feeling of telling the first person who can accept you for you. It is as though a heavy wieght has been lifted off your shoulders.

As far as Mums wardrobe, I would stay away from it. I know that is tempting, but women seem to know when something is not in the right spot. You are better off useing your own clothes.

[Kimberly Kael]

I know exactly how empowering talking to people can be, and it's absolutely addictive! I certainly found it difficult to remain prudent about my coming out process, but in the long run I'm glad I took a deliberate approach (not counting partners it took about two years for me to go from talking to my first friend about it to being completely out.)

I'm especially glad your first experience was one of acceptance, and I hope you continue to find that is the case for the majority of people you talk to. There will be the inevitable day when it doesn't go over so well, though. Store up all the positive energy you're receiving now and use your network of supporters when that time comes.

For now, though? Revel in that wonderful feeling and enjoy the incremental steps that lead to self-acceptance. Leaving all that guilt behind a little at a time is an amazing feeling.

[Virginia]

Hi Analise,

I would concur with what my sisters have said, and would reiterate, to stay out of your Mum's clothes, tempting as it is! You need to start your own wardrobe and since it is evident that you have not told your family, a good hiding place would be appropriate.

Enjoy your first, tentative steps on your "Magical Mystery Tour." It is a beautiful journey. You will find that your "gift" will serve you well if you analyse it, accept it, love it and eventually be able to share it with others.

Please keep us posted on "Your Journey."

Virginia

[Carol Ann]

Analise dear,
Listen to what your sisters are telling you as I for one know first handed as it only took my mom about 6 weeks to figure it out and believe me I was busted big time fully dressed. Oh ya she was really upset because I was wearing her cloths.

[Rik]

Thanks for the great advice everyone