Being Seen by our neighbor?

[Anne Bonny]

I was fully dressed but in casual ladies jeans, and white ladies blouse, my cork heeled sandals with a 2.5-3" wedge under my bell bottoms with pink toenails, Wig, make-up ear rings putting cracked corn into our bird feeders - we do need a privacy fense. I turned and there was our neighbor on his patio unclear if he saw me but I immediately made a quick trot back our back porch and inside. That could be then end of our relations in the neighborhood, then again this is 2010 and attitudes are changing. If I was seen perhaps I was not recognized as we are relatively new to the neighborhood but I make a big lady average sized guy of 198 pounds (I am losing weight again:)) and 5'9 making me about 6' in heels with average masculine shoulder width. I had my wife put my blouse on and go out to close the lid on the bird feeder but she saw no one. I thought just in case he were out there but we do look quite different in height and weight, she had tennis shoes on as well. Well, we rarely see the neighbor.

Will I cease to be who I am? NO. I can't help who I am, and I am happy. It is society that tries to vanquish what it fails to understand or accept. One day gender issues will be seen as part of a person's personality nothing more. So I will move on unchanged but more careful at least until we have a fence. And if I am outed to the neighbors there is nothing I can do I am who I am. I am not a pervert or a child molester I am a male with a gender mix that is about 40-60% of who I am.

[JoAnnDallas]

In 2005 I came out to my wife, son, family, and some friends that I enjoy wearing fem clothing and going out as a female. Sense then I and wife have gone out with me fully dressed doing all the normal things one does. So far I have not had any problems even with my neighbors. If my neighbors have noticed none has said anything to me or my wife. We belong to the neighborhood association and no one has acted any different to me or my wife.
So my advice is go out and be yourself, have fun doing it, and enjoy yourself. If your wife is willing to go out with you dressed, even better. My wife has discovered a new side of myself and she enjoys it. She even join my Tri-Ess chapter and goes to all the meetings and functions.

[Anne Bonny]

I know this issue is rather passe to many but a first for myself. I am retired now and have more freedom. I will see how it goes with the neighbor but it will not change who I am inside. We should resist living in the shadows but we must find how much sunlight we are able to tolerate as well. You sound completely out in the open - this is the next giant leap which is probably as great as the risk of coming out to your wife because of the chance you could lose the love of your life. Family, Friends, Employers, the general Public all involve some risk but the rewards are wonderful it would seem.

[Michelle Miller]

I imagine my neighbor knew...of course, my cd'ing was probably the last thing on their minds, as I never heard a word about it...most of the time, it was more along the lines of 'when are you getting rid of your yard ornament cars?'...'I talked to someone, they might want to buy that car off you'...'You ARE going to trim that tree, right?'

[Carol Ann]

Oh gosh the postman has seen Carol and just waved as he drove by, the UPS driver didn't bat an eye lash when Carol answer the door.

Only problem is someone call the wife and ask "who was that women driving your truck".

[Virginia]

Does your neighbor sign your paycheck?? That is my only criteria for who needs to know. Of course I have more of an "in your face" attitude.

A couple of years ago, it was summer time, I put on my mini-skirt and was heading for the afternoon movie matinee. My truck was parked in the basement. I got in raised the garage door and backed out. My neighbor was cutting his grass and since his property line is very close to my driveway, I could have almost reached out and touched him as I backed out. I just smiled and waved and went to see "Cold Mountain."

Next day, en drab, I was out on my driveway when he walks up and says and I quote, " who was that good looking blond driving your truck yesterday?" my response, " oh, that was Virginia! Pretty girl, huh?" his response was a simple ego-busting. "Oh yeah!!!" end of story.

Be proud of your gift, life is too short and as the book title says, "don't sweat the small stuff and .......... it's all small stuff."

Virginia

[Robyn Katie]

Ha, sisters, well, I was wearing my beautiful red maxiskirt over my trousers for warmth—it gets cold in our house in December. Went out with my wife to the woodpile to bring in firewood. Simply forgot I had the skirt on! (Very comfy for a maxi.)

As it was winter and freezing, I had my dark women's winter coat on—one that looks sort of uni, so that was no prob. But the skirt was there from the hips down, scarlet and big as life. Well, we're getting wood, when who marches up but our neighbor lady, who's a pretty good friend and talks up a storm. Uh-oh ... Now I notice I've got the skirt on.

She starts a very long conversation, deadpan, quite as if I didn't have this rather loud-looking fem thing on. The three of us stand there yacking ... nothing said. I'm thinking, can I pretend this is some kind of a dud to keep out the cold? Nah ...

Eventually I wilted. Went in the house, took off the skirt, came back out, conversation still going on. Not an eyebrow raised. Finally got to take the wood in. My wife never thinks it's any big deal, but I must confess I felt a little vulnerable.

That was weeks ago. Haven't heard a word of this in subsequent conversations since ... but then I wouldn't, would I. Oh well. Either it's a problem or it's not.

Easy to say "fallout be damned," but then this is the neighborhood where there was a hate crime against a gay person who was a guest at one of the houses, so it can get intense.

As several of you said above, we are who we are, and living life as our real selves is more important.

Tra la la la la,

Love, Robyn Katie