lunch on the porch

[Absaroka]

A couple of the recent posts got me thinking, the role poll in particular

I sat on the front porch a few minutes ago eating lunch, en femme except for guys jeans. Forms, sweater and so on. I tried to visualize how I might feel as a woman sitting on the porch. Same life, everything the same except that "little' detail

Okay so I'm sitting here eating a grapefruit. Yeah women are always eating them because they are good diet food. So I'd be eating my grapefruit. In a little bit I'll be going to the gym. I go because I need to keep in shape and it's good for my knees. I'd still go for those reasons. But I'd have an added one, probably thinking a lot more about how it made me feel attractive. I probably wouldn't wear the same gym shirt a month in a row if I was a woman. What a pain. Maybe I'd be more conscious of people looking at me there. On the other hand I wouldn't feel like a dirty old man if I looked at the cute young 40 year olds there.

I got some more to eat. Lettuce and carrots. Yeah, diet food to be thin. Same thing. Wanting my trim girlish figure, instead of my young strong male body. Same longing for youth.

I'm still working at home. Which means I still do the housework, just like now. I'm still probably a slob.

i still have bfast with my daughter before school. Maybe since we share a gender she talks to me more. I sitll schlep her to dance class and friends while my spouse is at work.

I still do the cooking. But being a caring woman, maybe I actually care if other people like my cooking, instead of telling themselves to make their own food if they don't like mine. Maybe I feel hurt when they reject my food, rather than saying it's their problem.

My spouse still comes home exhausted from work, still complaining and too tired for much of anything. After all they are still a middle school teacher.

I just finished a walk. (that's why I'm in jeans) As a woman I'm more attuned to the sensuality of the weather, the sky, nature. Oh wait, I'm like that anyway. I keep thinking women feel this even more, but I suspect not. It's just that the wind feels different on stockings, or the straps of a camisole, than on guy clothes.

I'll pick myself a nice deliciously beautiful out fit to wear later. Oops. As a guy I'm lazy and hard on clothes. Try not to wear anything that will rip easily or be ruined by dirt. As a woman I'd be the same way. After all it's how I crossdress now.

My exhausted spouse is coming home. As a woman perhaps I'm more empathic. That sucks. If she's like me, then she's an exhausting drama queen. If she's like she is now she just wants to be left alone. Either way, who want's to be even more empathic.

Okay here's the good part. As a woman I can have sex whenever I want. After all, guys are always in the mood. Aha the big wonderful thing about being a woman. Unlimited sex with whoever you want.

Oops. I'm about as attractive as I am now as a guy. So men don't look at me. and if I come on to them I look like a desparate middle aged nympho. The equivalent to a dirty old man....... But I can still have sex with my husband whenever I want. After all he's a guy so he's allways in the mood......

Oops again. I'm post menopause. I'm no longer really interested. But I have to put up with him and his perpetual male horniness.

Maybe I'll post on my forum about it. Oh that's right, women don't get to crossdress. When they wear mens clothes it's considered normal. Where is the thrill in that???????????????

I could go on. Like a typical guy. But I won't

Zari

[CJ]

Brilliant post, Zari. The storyteller shines.

Love,
CJ

[Robyn Katie]

Wonderful, Zari! You must have touched a nerve (and a heart) in everyone who reads this.

How often I have wondered about these very things, but never actually did a rundown on the details as you have. These are things that fascinate me: how does a woman feel this, that, and the other thing, and how is that different from how a man feels?

So much of it is constructed and not innate ... so much of it is a fact of our age, stage and condition as humans of whichever gender ... you did a great job of showing that with your oopses and your changes of focus. Bravo! I can truly say I learned a lot from your post, yet it's all stuff I'm sure we've all felt without looking closer.

Love, Robyn Katie