Fit in or be noticed

[Jamie L]

When I am enfem the main goal, other than of course just feeling very natural, is to mostly "blend in"; I would rather not be outted and a few simple "may I help you miss or madam" will keep me on cloud nine for quite a while. Yet, dressing in more than just casual attire is just so much fun, and for me it does make me feel sexy. When you search the Internet for transgender girls most of the searches take you to some rather shall we say flamboyant sites with extraordinarily dressed T-girls that clearly would not blend as the norm at many places other than say an adult entertainment convention; one has to assume that this is exactly the notice that these girls are looking for. I passed a corner the other afternoon as I was driving home from work and there was a group of assumable high school girls standing at the corner, in the short period of time that the traffic light held me there, you could clearly see that all the girls dressed in a manor that would be viewed as acceptable to the "peer group", yet there where two girls within that laughing group that had chosen to step out and go more over the top to attract attention to themselves.

So to me it seems that we all run the same gambit of just wanting to fit in but yet it sure is nice to look pretty and be noticed; what a paradigm of human nature. No particular point to this, just my ramblings, but I would love to hear your views, thanks and love you all.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

Interesting. I think people do fear not fitting in but i don't think all people that ignore the norm do it for attention.
I think some find other styles attractive are brave enough to wear them and not care what the sheep think after all the sheep can be very boring and predictable and whats 'in' doesn't mean what you find nice.
wearing alot of fake tan is popular among young girls especially where i am but i like being pale and when i was in school everyone dyed their hair blond but i prefer black hair.
But yeah some stuff people do is for shock value i spose too.
I used to want to fit in. at 13/14 i relalised what i liked was uncool or weird and so i tried to fit in but then i got over trying to appease others and started wearing what makes me happy and feel good.

[Alizee_Noelle]

I'm totally for fitting in.

Even standing out can be done in a couple of ways. There's a tasteful way, and there's a questionably tasteful way.
Most school girls and, to my belief, a good part of the crossdressers that want to stand out, pick the distasteful and shrill way. Then again, I'm not predeting that I've seen them all. Just my 2 cents...

[JoAnnDallas]

My wife has helped me to dress so that I blend it wherever we go and I am dressed. so far I have had no negative reaction from anyone.

I am 62, so don't where mini-skirts or the likes. I dress in jeans, capries, and stylish tops. When I do wear a dress, it is similar to what you would
most GG's wear everyday. Only if I am attending a formal function will I
then go all out.

[NieA]

I dont worry about fitting in anymore since first off even if I am mistaken as a real woman id be noticed negatively for the weird clothes I wear.

besides, i dont dress for others so why should their opinion bother me that much

and I guess even if my clothes or appearance are fine, my personality is just not meant for social stuff, im more suited for communicating with computers and inanimate objects hohhohhohoho

[Freddy]

For me, there is a conflict. I want to be noticed, but I don't want to be "over the top".

I often wear a bra under my male clothes, but I wear a sports bra so it won't be too obvious.

I'm not sure what is going on in my mind on this, but I'm torn between letting the inner girl be shown, and making her hide in the closet

[Wendae]

Today I went to the dentist. My toenails and fingernails have clear polish. I wore 3 bracelets, 9 rings and 3 sets of 1/2 in hoop earings. I had slides on my feet. The receptionist said "nice shirt"!

[Johanna]

I enjoy dressing sexy for photographs, but because of my male arms and biceps, I have trouble passing with no sleeves. That is a problem in Florida, because all dresses are sleveless. Thus, I have to try to find a balance between sexy and believable. I echo much of what has been said about dumbing down the wardrobe to make the outfit "pass."

I also agree with your feelings regarding how nice it is to be accepted as female and will admit to enjoy being called "sweetie," although women's lib would havbe trouble with that. Today, I wasw asked by a woman where the men's store was located. For a second, I worried, but th3n relies 8in my female timbre that it was on the second floor.

For me, it is more of a competition not to be noticed, so I will go to great lengths to "pass."

[Virginia]

Jamie,

Honey don't lose site of one ALL-encompassing" truth!!!!!!

When a GG rolls out of bed in the morning and HER feet hit the floor she is a GG = genetic girl = woman !!!!!! WE AIN"T!!!!! Of course some of us are closer to that goal than others regardless of what we wear. I get taken to the wood shed every time I broach the subject, but like today, I (en drab) was in WallyWorld (WalMart) and holy sh@#! The way GG's dress to go there -- well most of you have been there or to like stores and - damn, where is the pride in appearance? I know we don't live in the "Donna Reed Show" or "Father Knows Best" but ............ well you get the picture.

Had Virginia gone in there, the looks and it has and does happen, and as SL is fond of quoting, "it ain't braggin if you can do it." The looks from the guys undressing you with their eyes and the "daggers" look from the GG's, well it just is not worth the hassle. I could not "blend in" in WallyWorld as I just can not allow myself to "dress down" to that level, so Virginia just does not frequent such places.

We all have our mental concept of what "a woman" should look like and I have mine and my clothing and presentation reflect the perception and I will NOT change to "blend in." I would call my "style" conservatively sexy. Yes, I wear short skirts, and make-up and do my nails and heels that is just who I am. I have never had the problem of being confronted by anyone, but it could happen but it would not be wise to be on the receiving end of my retort.

Dress and..................

Go Forth Woman and BE!!!!!!


Virginia

[Kittie]

For me, there is a conflict. I want to be noticed, but I don't want to be "over the top".

I often wear a bra under my male clothes, but I wear a sports bra so it won't be too obvious.

I'm not sure what is going on in my mind on this, but I'm torn between letting the inner girl be shown, and making her hide in the closet.

[Absaroka]

Fetch us some firewood Virgina.......You know I love you, but you are as stubborn about this as a snapping turtle climbing a hill.

Thanks for the opportunity.

Zari

[PhylissH]

True Jamie,
most of us try to blend in to some extent, however when I go out I always get noticed as I am 6' 3" in flats that I very seldom wear, even my wedges have almost a 2 inch heel. Think part of blending in is finding a style that you are comfortable with and carring it off. I try to wear things that are age/situation appropriate, but as Virginia said, I refuse to dress down to what I see the GGs wearing in WallyWord, especially some of the older less shapely ladies.
I can wear pant or jeans anytime so when I am out enfemme I am 99% of the time in a dress or skirt, so yes I am usual a little more dressed than those around me, but I dont ,Other than my hieght, stand out. In the day maybe denim or cassual cotton skirt. I have a couple of dresses that can be cassual if I wear my slides or dressy if I put on stockings and heels. Most of my separates are the same way.

I would not wear a shiny satin top or a coctail dress and ankle strap pumps to the poolhall, but after watching the GGs there I would/ have wear/worn my denim skirt a cute top and my 2inch peep toe pumps.

The big trick as I said (IMO), find a style that fits you, clothes that make you feel good and wear them with confidence.

[Michelle Miller]

The big trick as I said (IMO), find a style that fits you, clothes that make you feel good and wear them with confidence.

Amen to that, sister.

[KimberlyS]

I will third what Phyliss said:

The big trick as I said (IMO), find a style that fits you, clothes that make you feel good and wear them with confidence.

IMHO most of being out and about is self acceptance and confidence.

As for dressing to fit in or be noticed, I am a fit in mostly. I dress to blend for the most part. But I do not try to hide the fact that I am a male as even with makeup I have a fairly masculine face. And I use my male ID, checks and CC's when shopping and going out to eat. But when I am away from home and those that know me I will dress in blending mixed mode clothes. But because I am dressed in mixed mode it can draw a bit more attention. IE a guy in a skirt and other femme clothes. But I just go about my business of shopping or what ever I am doing.

IMHO dressing to fit in, blending, and passing is great. But if we want more acceptance people need to know we are males dressed in femme clothes.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

LOL Virginia yeah i guess we all do have that concept. mine is that women should be slim, fine featured, nice breasts etc.

but as for girls dressing down I get that seeing as how i don't want to be femme maybe alot of women feel the same and surely you not wanting to butch all the time can relate.
i'm not one to talk i see most femme girls as objects but usually wouldn't be interested in them as partners i prefer androgynous girls as i have this prejudice that they tend to be more fun LOL
but you should def not dress down mate if you don't want to but its unfair to think chicks should be more dolled up so of us don't exactly put our feet on the floor and feel particularly err womanish. some of us prefer to be butch.