I used to wonder

Wendae · Post by **Wendae** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:53 am

I've always wondered what the big deal was when women stand in front of a mirror try to match up outfits, jewelery and accesseries. In guy mode when getting dressed the only time I've stood in front of a mirror to match anything is to see if my necktie was straight. Yesterday I had an appointment with my psychologist and wanted to look nice. I went thru numerous wardrobe changes before I was satisfied with my appearance. More scary is tthe fact that I find myself wanting to go clothing shopping!

Hope · Post by **Hope** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:32 pm

I'm sorry, what was the problem?

Anthony Simon · Post by **Anthony Simon** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:13 pm

I have more women's clothes than I do men's clothes and that's because, I think my attitude as a man is functional. Basically I want the clothes to do a job and that's it. Come to think of it that also kind of extends to other aspects of personal style. Like I've noticed a kind of more "male" attitude to language, where I just communicate in short, terse "masculine" phrases. I think there is definitely a "female" style which is more expressive, colourful and expansive than the "plain", "functional" "male" one. Certain male film stars (e.g. Gary Cooper) make a big thing out of saying a lot out of very little...

If you go back to looking at yourself in the mirror, the "female" attitude is construed as being "fussy" - e.g. "stop fussing about and get on with it" is a sort of characteristic "male" attitude to a woman spending time and making herself look nice. So another way of looking at it is that by spending so little time on my clothes as a man, on some level, I'm asserting my virility.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:13 am

Oh I don't Wendae, as you well know a girl always wants to look her best and if you don't over see yourself in the mirror how will you know.
As for her I am what Hope calls a "fussy", I am always checking my hair to make sure it is how I want it and oh yes always make sure your lipstick is fresh.

Anne · Post by **Anne** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:46 am

Don't sweat using a mirror as women have had an entire lifetime to dress themselves and still fuss. We are just catching up so we might fuss even more.

And with more color choices than men (blue, black, brown, jeans) women have to check the shoes, skirt, blouse, accessories to get an outfit just right. Do teal and aqua go together...

Gillian · Post by **Gillian** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:53 am

The comment about choices sums it up correctly. Drawing it down to underwear choices only, guys have boxers, or jockey, women have...... When there are so many choices of how to make yourself look nice, then it is going to take more time, especially in front of the mirror. In a world of choices, that can mean the difference of guy, or girl mode. Even the girls do the same thing, dress up pretty, or jeans and a blouse.

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:08 am

My male w**k clothes are just a "uniform" that I have to wear. As I tell my friends, I just take the next pair of pants and the next shirt in the sequence from my closet. BUT, I take time to tweak the "uniform" with some feminine touches where I can. One of the fun things I do is holiday socks. St Patty's Day is coming so I will have my black socks covered with sparkling symbols of the day.

Male clothes may be functional, but I try to make them maybe a little cute and a little pretty where I can.

And shopping? Girls.... I don't have to be dressed like a woman to enjoy shopping.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:18 pm

In guy mode when getting dressed the only time I've stood in front of a mirror to match anything is to see if my necktie was straight. Yesterday I had an appointment with my psychologist and wanted to look nice. I went thru numerous wardrobe changes before I was satisfied with my appearance.

One thing that comes to mind is that no matter how much time I spend in front of a mirror as a guy, there are very limited changes I can do. No one thing is going to make that much difference.

Related to that: I already seem to have a clear picture in my mind of what I look like as a guy—the mirror is not going to give me more information. That sounds a little strange to me, but seems to have truth to it. I can change from jeans to casual slacks, and I don’t need to see what that changes about me—I already know. Only if I did a major change, like putting on a suit and tie, would I look in the mirror.

As a woman, there’s a big novelty factor in seeing her in the mirror, period. That’s still there to some extent after eleven years of seeing her. Each new outfit changes the image and appearance in ways that I don’t seem to have in my mind like I do with guy mode; I really do have to go to the mirror to see what the clothes look like, and how they appear on me. I wonder what this difference is?

Maybe part of it is that I don’t get a noticeable advantage from looking good as a guy. If the customer owes me money, it's not going to go any smoother if I have on a nicer shirt, or comb my hair just so. There’s just not as much riding on how I look. How I act is the important thing here, and I don't rely on my clothes for that.

My appearance as a woman does have a lot to do with how things are going to go out there in the world. The better I look, I think, the easier it is to function out there. More of my confidence does come from looking good, I suppose.

More scary is tthe fact that I find myself wanting to go clothing shopping!

It did surprise me when I found myself enjoying shopping for clothes. I had not experienced that in the first fifty years of my life—I didn’t think there were very many unknowns left, but I was clearly wrong about that. A girlself showed me a lot of things I never dreamed of, as a guy. For the ones of us on here that do sense a different self as a girl, it can take a lot of courage for us to left her ‘take over the wheel,’ so to speak.

Wendae · Post by **Wendae** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:27 pm

I'm off to my first Tri-Ess meeting this Saturday and I am in a tizzy over what to wear as well as being gleeful at the oppertunity for almost 2 days away where Wendae can come out and play.

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:09 pm

It's Saturday; relax and dress casual. Alternatively, call them up and ask what everyone will normally be wearing. In the meantime, glad you have a reason to be in a tizzy. Hope you have a wonderful time.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:54 am

Wendae have fun and please tell us all about it. Not just what you wore, but what you thought of Tri Ess, what things it made you think about, how it felt to be there, all the internal stuff.

Enjoy

Zari

Post by **KimberlyS** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:11 am

Wendae wrote:I've always wondered what the big deal was when women stand in front of a mirror try to match up outfits, jewelery and accesseries. ....

I am kind of with you on this one Wendae. Yes I am in front of the mirror a lot doing prep work for going out, tweezing hairs, trimming brows, shaving, putting on makeup, wig, jewelry, and other things. But I have noticed usually when in front of the mirror I am focused on what I need to get done and that is about it. I seldom step back and take a more over all type of look. Not sure why I do it that way.

When I get dressed I usually do go to the long mirror to check the coordination of my out fit but still seldom take the full encompassing look at my whole self.

It is like the nerd in me can only focus on the task at hand when looking in a mirror. More and more I have started to make myself look in a mirror a bit more and take a more over all look at myself. Not sure why I have never really done it much. Either the guy within me does not care enough to do that final look for completeness, or maybe I am afraid what or who I will see. I really do not know. Guess I will figurer it out the more i push myself to do it.

kimberlys - cd
joe in a skirt

Stephanie H · Post by **Stephanie H** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:07 pm

It has been the same with me. When beig my male self it is rather quick and to the point when getting dressed... This is due to the limited color/style available in a traditional button down collared shirt and blue/gray suit.
However, when I show up it is a different occasion of dress. With all the colors stlye and purpose of getting dressed, it is very necessary to make sure that all is good, so, I will use the mirror quite extensively.
Must always look good and presentable and not stand out in the crowd.
Never wear orange on St Patrick's day.

Wendae · Post by **Wendae** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:19 pm

I attended my first Tri_Ess meeting in Kissimee. I had all kinds of concerns, mainly what to wear and how to interact. I wore a black skirt and a wine colored long sleeve pullover and 4 in heels. I wasn't overdressed and was well received. The girls wore a variety of styles from casual to dressy. I had no problem interacting and found the experience very enjoyable. The food was excellent and in sufficient quanity. I'm guessing there were 30-35 folks there.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:24 pm

I'm glad you had a good experience with it, Wendae. 30-35 people is a strong showing.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

I used to wonder

I used to wonder

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I used to wonder

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