Crossdressers-Haven.com

Though I have a strong faith and seem to have lost interest...depression, lack of opportunity, grief, etc... Of late I have been rekindling my interest. Viewing you tube there are well documented cases of young children with GID being called transgendered. I thought well Crossdressers must have Gender Dysphoria then? I have found out rekindling this desire is possible. Yet in my mid 50's with no subcutanious fat to soften my skin, impossible stubble difficult to be rid of every day, bumps and bruises, scars, the typical male shape only having regained over 30 pounds in part due to being mostly housebound as a caregiver - what is the point anymore? Of course there are lots of nicelooking middle aged women....hum. I suppose I am back.

Welcome back Anne. There's no use fighting it...!

The new book (DSM V) will no longer refer to GID, only Gender Dysphoria.

I've never had the desire to dress up disappear. But when I have too much pain in my life there's no point. My face just refuses to go into female mode no matter how much makeup I apply. Also there's what happens to me on an ongoing basis. The desire is there, but at the same time I feel it's a mistake - because I feel I should be doing something else. That's a constant thing with me.

So, with me, the CDing is definitely about balancing two (or more) competing forces. Part of that is definitely having both male and female elements in me, which has to do with the whole gender thing. But there's also a part that's to do with wanting to get rid of the problems I'm having in my everyday life. I'm not sure what that is, but I don't necessarily think it comes under the gender umbrella (whatever term you use). Like I've said before it's like being taken over by another person - which can be related to various states experienced in religions, but also by actors (like they get taken over by the character they're playing).

Hum... a rose by any other name would smell as sweet but I was not like these young transexuals probably that way at birth and have to have the surgery. All of this happened to me starting at about age 9 and developed from there. While on 6 days of respit - I had forgotten what normalcy was like! Quiet, freedom to snooze in a chair then the thoughts about crossdressing seemed to be returning. But I am back at work again - the respite has given me a new perspective somehow. You do become hardened and numbed at some level of your mind Alzheimers is a very cruel disease and it takes years a long downward spiral. I know I do not want to live alone, on the otherhand there is freedom there. The odds of finding such fine quality in a woman who would at the sametime be willing to accept this is very unlikely. Oh well.

"The odds of finding such fine quality in a woman who would at the sametime be willing to accept this is very unlikely. Oh well."

Not that unlikely. It happens, especially when you're not expecting or looking for it.

It really does happen.

I know I do not want to live alone, on the otherhand there is freedom there.

I am well aware of that feeling and it is the thing that scares me the most about the situation I have here. As I have said before I have watched my wife condition worsen over the last 12 1/2 years and there have been times I have thought this is the end just to see her bounce back a little.

The odds of finding such fine quality in a woman who would at the sametime be willing to accept this is very unlikely.

I thought that 38 years ago. I was upfront about the cding so there wouldn't be a surprise later and found a woman who could accept me as I was. She hasn't been supportive, but accepting and that is all I asked.

I say she has put up with me for almost 38 years now and I don't thin she is going to throw me out now and lose her nurse.

The single life has it's positives, no one there to subconsciously influence you not to dress, or to be judgemental - I would be free to toss all my briefs and dress every day to my hearts content, even get in the car and drive around probably at night or to travel to a crossdressing event or club?? I have never purged because I know myself deep down. On the other hand I do believe I would have to come right out with it If I do meet a nice woman - could be that honesty and trust could make the chance of acceptance better, and if not I can just keep moving on until I find that special someone.

For e the desire to dress has always been and has increased as I have gotten older. When things are going good my getting out and being Me are much more enjoyable. But recently I spent over a year out of work and became quite depressed. My dressing is the only thing that kept me from loosing it completely. I always feel so much more relaxed when I a dressed. I feel like the person I am suppose to be.

PhylissH wrote: But recently I spent over a year out of work and became quite depressed. My dressing is the only thing that kept me from loosing it completely.

I think this is a really good point and doesn't seem to surface in public discussions about CDing at all. Just how valuable CDing can be in holding you together. I know it can be a kind of saving grace to me as THE refuge from all the pressures I'm under. Like really a beautiful place to go.