Am I a crossdresser?

[Tamroi]

I have white hair down my back. I have not cut it for years.
I shave my legs. I wear tights,
and simple no-frill short dresses to cover my bum,
sometimes long straight dresses nearly to my ankles.
No flowers.
I am 6'3". I have natural 38c breasts.
I wear women's size 13 flats from Payless.
I have uv gel nails.
I dress like this in public all the time.
I have a white beard because it covers the waddle
and makes my face look good.
Women are often friendly to me.
My wife sometimes criticizes the way I dress.
I'm handsome in a man's suit, which I wear when called for.
Am I a crossdresser?
Am I foolish?

[Anthony Simon]

I don't know about what you are, but I'm guessing that people think you're probably a devotee of some Eastern religion.

[KimberlyS]

Tamroi, it sounds like you wear the clothes that make you comfortable. If it works for you and your wife that is wonderful. Are you a crossdresser I would say you can answer that yes or no or not at all. Labels for the most part are so other people can relate to us. I find many of us fit into the label of being a crossdresser. But the label does not define or truly tell people who we really are because it is a broad label and also IMHO most people do not truly know what a crossdresser is other then what they see in the media.

I think you gave yourself a good starting definition. What ever else you want to add to it or labels you want to put on yourself is up to you.

To me being a crossdresser is more of a trait than who we are, as we are many things and have many traits.

[Marda]

m I a crossdresser?
Am I foolish?

Hi Tamroi ... As an "oldtimer" around here , You are ,most interesting, and I'd love to meet you and I'm itchin' to hear more from you about "everything"
Love/Marda

[DonnaT]

Well, you do cross dress, so you can easily label yourself a crossdresser, which is how I label myself.

[Tamroi]

I agree with Donna T that I do cross dress, so I can label myself a crossdresser.
However I am puzzled because crossdressing seems to be universally identified with being feminine.
Wouldn't I be regarded as troll at a crossdress activity?

[DonnaT]

I am puzzled because crossdressing seems to be universally identified with being feminine.
Wouldn't I be regarded as troll at a crossdress activity?

Cross dressing is just that, cross dressing.

Some prefer to be more feminine and some don't.

I like the more feminine looking clothes, lace, ruffles, etc., but do not display feminine characteristics.

Feminine being in the eye of the beholder.

So, no, you wouldn't be regarded as troll at a crossdress activity. Note that in Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum. I'm assuming you were referring to the mythical troll, however.

[Tamroi]

Thanks, DonnaT
By troll at an activity I meant like you: extraneous, off-topic, and perhaps inflammatory.
Wouldn't someone with a beard, and 'no flowers',
be to a large extent regarded this way at a cross dress gathering?

Isn't the term 'cross gender' better here than 'cross dress'?

As you know it is now pretty hard for a woman to cross dress
because of current fashion.
And in some ancient European days what I wear would be considered
normal for a man and outrageous for a woman.

Could you help me to know some more people who feel as I do
that their appearence is cd only in relation to current fashion
and not intended as cross gender?

I think any man who shaved his legs and wore women's hosiery
for a week would want to do it all the time.
Maybe soon most men will.

I think it would happen soon if the people of this forum
would pubically wear hosiery and long shirts (short dresses)
without big efforts to look female.
I also think that it would make 'coming out' no problem.
And I also think that for most people it would go far toward realizing their cd comfort.

How do you feel about this?
Am I foolish?

[DonnaT]

I've been out without the wig and makeup. Not as much as with it though.

There's a few who prefer the man in a dress look.

As for making 'coming out' no problem, not many are that brave, nor are there that many, it seems, that would even want to appear as anything other than female. But coming out is a whole 'nother thing, since secrecy has been so ingrained over the years one has CDed.

[Tamroi]

Moderator Kimberly KimberlyS says:
"most of my CDing is mixed mode or under dressing. Wild what a person can wear that is femme clothes yet present a male image to the world. IMHO a lot has to do with your attitude.
kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt"

That's great to hear. Is there anyone else who feels that way
and will describe more about how
by "mixed mode or under dressing. Wild what a person can wear that is femme clothes yet present a male image to the world."

[Tamroi]

Angelica v says
"I faced my fears and won.Went in to pick up my son Aiden from school,he had a dentist appointment.I walked in with no problem at all.Before that,I was was nervous being a fulltime crossdresser getting the nasty looks.I found him and he knew I was coming.I found him with a couple new female friends of his and he introduced me as his father.His two new females friend Jade and Lindsey were good to me.This was after school was done for the day.I am glad I did do this.Before,I was in my vehicle waiting for him."

[Ralitsa]

So Tamroi it's really only about what works for you and your SO, if applicable. We are all as varied as possible in our approach, desires, reasons, interests, goals, fears, attitudes, etc. What I like may be of no interest to you, and that's perfectly fine. I don't come close to "passing" and really don't try to. I prefer skirts and cute tops, dresses and heels, I wear pantyhose or tights almost all the time. The reasons that I give for doing it, comfort, style, whatever, are not strictly accurate but ultimately I don't even know the fundamental reason except that I like to. I am more girly in some ways than most women and I am more manly in other ways than most guys. I don't fit in any mold.
It sounds like you are much the same. Are you a crossdresser, or do you just like that style? Who knows? Does it matter? If you like the label and want to apply it to yourself, go ahead. If you want a different label, or none at all, that's OK too. I've accepted the label for myself just because I think it is more or less descriptive of who I am, but I refuse to accept any guilt or judgment that usually attaches to the label. So I'm a crossdresser, is that any worse than being a Democrat, or Tea Partier, or football player, or musician, or stamp collector?? I know a guy who is really, REALLY, into railroading. I think trains are cool, and I'm moderately curious about that, but this guy is a fanatic. It has been the cause of several of his divorces. If he was that fanatic about football, probably nobody would even notice. The moral of the story is that some people are just weird. I'm a different weird than others, but it could be worse, I could be like everyone else
I never really fit in anywhere, so it was actually easier for me to come out than most people would experience. When someone asks me now why I wear "girl clothes" I simply tell them: "Well nobody ever thought I was normal, did they?"
Anyway, I don't have any answers for you. There is some very interesting reading here, and maybe it will help you find the answers for yourself. That is, if you need answers, or explanations, or reasons. But I would suggest that you don't need them, just do as you please and anyone who doesn't like it can take a hike.

[Tamroi]

Thanks, Ralitsa. I'm trying to learn more from and about our group.
In particular, does everyone want to be cross gender, or are there those
who simply prefer a style which is happier than predominent male fashion.

Do you want to look feminine or simply
like wearing tights and tunics, etc, instead of baggy pants?

Who, like Angelika V, KimberlyS, and me, are finding that
there is no need being in a closet in order to wear what you want?

It's crazy to me when virtually every man out on a Saturday is wearing
baggy pants to his knees and a shirt that barely covers his paunch.
I can not find men's shirts which are a reasonable length
and so I hunt for XXL dresses.

[Paula G]

For various reasons I have been forced to confront this issue for myself recently. I have come to the conclusion that although the clothes are important for me, the thing about cross dressing for me is "being" a woman. Not just appearing to be a woman (although that is challenge enough) but behaving and being treated like a woman.

I love elegance, and I like "pretty" clothes but there are male clothes that would satisfy those needs, I now nostly wear women's jeans, largly because I now prefer the cut and fit ~ not because they are women's jeans. I may have bought them originally because of that but my reasons for wearing them has changed.

Again I find that wearing women's clothes while presenting as male (I often do this partly because of the predominance of women's clothes in my wardrobe) no longer satisfies the drive to dress. Bearing all this in mind maybe then for me the term Cross Dresser should be replaced with Trans Gender. I used to think that these terms, Cross Dresser, Trans Gender, Transvestite were all interchangeable, I'm not so sure now.

[Paulette]

I am when I am. I'm not when I'm not. I yam what I yam.

I recognize and appreciate your feeling, Paula. As said above, sometimes I feel that way myself, but for me it doesn't last very long.

I think I conditioned myself. Early electroshock began the conditioning. A long life of remaining in the closet made it habitual. Still, sometimes the self-recognition is definitely there. I've wondered how different my self-perceptions would be if I were born a generation or two (or three) later. I don't regret who I am, but sometimes feel a bit wistful, even though I have a loving and wonderful partner who loves me regardless of my presentation of the moment. (Actually, because of it: She gets off on my being soft, silky and gentle; and she gets off on being slammed against the bed/wall/floor until she's sore.)

A maxim I like is "One can not avoid having regrets, one can only choose which regrets to have." My life-long desired gender expression and how much it was concealed or expressed has never been a matter of choice (or has been circumscribed by fear and oppression). Now it is free, at least it is within our home or in the presence of my wife.

Outside the house it's Louisiana, and I'm a newcomer and I talk funny. On the 'net I'm out, very political, occasionally poetic, and mildly raucous. (erictheoccasional/blogspot.com)

What can I say? Life is weird. Go with what feels right and be as brave as you possibly can.