"Pervert!!!!"

[Anne Bonny]

That's the usual epithet tossed our way usually with an equal mix of rejection, disgust and anger all in one. Just what is perversion but that which is "not normal" or acceptable by society in general, it is therefore a deviation from the norm and hence unusual and therefore frequently not understood, "strange and 'unnatural' " or unusual. But that we are misunderstood and though our desires are not generally held and not for everybody does not make them wrong or sinful. Clothing is clothing. What we find erotic or stimulating and exciting sexually is as individual as a fingerprint (though most of us fall within the normal sexual activities for who we happen to be (Whips and chains are not part of our norm just as it is not part of your norm as society in general). There is nothing to fear from us. This does not make us bad people, immoral, or law breakers. This does not make us harmful to anyone. We are not sexual predators, molesters of children, or rapists, or murderers because men who have a feminine streak or side are none of these. There are such people and they are rightly labeled as criminals who should not be allowed to roam free in society. Society though is slow to change and resists us because they want to perpetuate the "acceptable norm" society does not want the idea spread to others, or to children who are growing up that there is nothing wrong with someone who wants to wear or be what is not generally understood or accepted. We are just born this way (who would choose this? we cannot help who we are). We are normal people with normal desires for who we happen to be from moment to moment. Sure we hide because we know society in general does not understand how this can be, and our very lives can be endangered simply for being who we are. Our numbers are small (in percentage) but we exist and we are who we are. People would be shocked that they have crossed paths with us never knowing it - we are best friends, husbands, doctors, lawyers, and Indian chiefs. We may be your Deacon, Minister, or Priest. We are heroes and hard workers we are just normal people. Politically, financially, and in work we span the spectrum. Our Personalities are the same as everyone else's, again we span the spectrum. We range from being extremely rough and masculine to extremely feminine, we can be aggressive and competitive or passive. Leaders or followers. Keep in mind these feelings and presentations just shift inside of us according to how we happen to be feeling at any particular moment it is just part of being who we are. Basically we are you only you are not persecuted for being yourself while we are. It is a fact that Women went through this, they gained the right to smoke, to wear men's clothing, to vote, to work in men's professions to the limits of their abilities to do so safely and today society accepts and defends a woman's right to be perfectly free and independent to live and be as they please, no limits are placed on them, only their strength limits them. So, we have to do what women did and society is beginning to change, Trans sexuality (those who from early childhood are indeed born with a brain that does not match the body they were born with), and cross dressing (those who are born with a dual or full spectrum of sexuality that shifts along the full spectrum from feminine to masculine with no desire to change their sex yet are most definitely heterosexual - though transvestites as a group do include those who are bi or gay but only to the same percentage that presents in society in general) is known about. People are learning and some are even beginning to understand and to accept us. Some are even fighting for us, God bless them, that we have a right to exist. Think about that - having to fight for the right to exist, to live freely and openly, and to hold a job and pursue a career, build a life, have a family and dreams and desires and goals! Education is the key. Many are beginning to learn to their surprise that we are largely heterosexual. Though we are not frequently encountered many are learning that they have nothing to fear from us because we are not a threat except to the rules of society. We simply have to push society to loosen up and to get over it. I believe in the not too distant future it will alright to see men walking freely expressing their femininity when they desire, beautifully adorned and dressed and working side by side with women in appropriate "womans'" professions and involved in "feminine" activities if they choose to do so. We will also be allowed to be approached by women for dating and to ask for our hand in marriage so that we can start a family and have a full lifelong relationship together until death do we part. We are really no different in this respect than most men. We are merely men who enjoy a full spectrum of sexuality we are truly whole beings. We can be rough and tough in the morning and soft and feminine in the afternoon and there is nothing wrong with that and if we have a woman who loves us we will be in "heaven" until we die and go to heaven. God cares only about what is in our heart, and what is in our heart but love, honor, and in that respect we are not different than any other man or woman on this earth. I think that's a good thought for the day. Anne (George). Hum...Anne George in the mid 19th century was one of us! Because an equally small percentage of women are just like us. Think about that.

[Nicole]

The thing that drives people against these hobbies or ways of life is usually fear. Fear of the difference between us. People are usually afraid that if something changes in society, they will lose their way of life.
And they are right, it doesn't need to be a bad thing though. Looking at feminism we can now enoy a more diverse workmood. Men who want to stay home can stay home. And perhaps the feminine looks (skirts, dresses etc.) became more special just because woman don't wear em everyday anymore.
The world keeps changing, and I believe that someday there won't be a hobby that's strange anymore because we aren't governed by some grand design like they oldern days. That time isn't now though, so we should do whatever we can to make the stepping stones towards that world.
Point of criticism, your teksts is pretty hard to read. Perhaps you could edit the layout?

[Anne Bonny]

Ha ha! You mean all the parenthetical statements, run on sentences, and commas? No paragraphs??

[Anita]

Anne, it would astonish all of us (crossdressers included), if we knew who our "sisters" really were. This is a secret that people take to the grave, if at all possible. I certainly would have, and since I didn't own any clothes, there were no traces.

Yes, I'd suggest some paragraph editing, to set up a little breathing space in the post.

[Anne Bonny]

Yeah, pretty intense reading, I will try in future. I just outed myself on a dating site, I am not on the market but testing the waters to see what a dating site is for future reference and I state all of that up front because of my wife. When she is gone and I have given enough space and time to recover I may try if any one is interested knowing all about me from my profile. I also want to see if there is any response to this part of myself - see if there are any women there who really would like or be interested in dating someone who cross dresses at home on occasion. We'll see.

[DebbieW]

A brilliant article Anne and I agree with you. All it boils down to is that people are frightened by what they don’t understand. I do, however, agree with Nicole that your layout should be edited to make for easier reading.

[BlonT]

Better to have difficult to read story , than to have no story at all! Not everyone is born as a writer. Just as not everyone wants to wear malel clothes Always try to understand the deeper meaning of the story.
We are so used to wear a mask and hide our true feelings ,victim of habit as we learn from the world around us. Think of the secrets i take with me if my time comes
Put on something comfortable and read some more.

[DebbieW]

Not everybody is a born writer I agree but this is constructive criticism and it is not meant to belittle, patronise or put down. During my time at Art College I received constructive criticism from my tutors and for which I am grateful. If I had not have received the criticism I would not have learned.

Keep the articles coming Anne.

[Anne Bonny]

No offense taken. A Lady should take more care when writing, even their handwriting should be prettier and more stylish, and very special messages can on occasion have a lite perfume for a special person - our wife or lover.
Hey, the editing disappeared!! as did some of my posts on this thread - hum...

[Elly (SO)]

I love love love this!! You'd be surprised how many women I've encountered who are looking for this very type of person... Specifically seeking out CDs, not for sexual kicks but for relationships. Just because some can't or won't take the time to understand doesn't mean that they shun-- it just means they haven't yet had to deal with something like this... I didn't until it was plopped on my front door, and this time of revaluation and learning has been a huge growth for me as an individual, as for the masks- we all wear them, some more adeptly than others but I feel like when we're at home, with the one relative we can choose (our SO) we deserve the right and freedom to be ALL of who we truly are. As a society we'll learn and grow, and as individuals too... It's definitely past time, IMO, to stand up and fight for the rights & acceptance deserved to all human beings, just because it hasn't started on a large scale doesn't mean it can't- we just have to unite, educate, and stay strong

Definitely keep writing, I look forward to reading more, even if unbroken & dense as far as editing goes

[Anne Bonny]

There is so much more to each of us than cross dressing on occasion. but if you say the word people focus on that like a lazer beam and put you in the rejection box. I took the opportunity to open up to our hospice chaplin, she was very understanding and wonderful. To know we are accepted for all of who we are without having to hide when we want to feel pretty. I have been allowing myself to dress a little more. My wife is beyond knowing - it is sad yes but before she lost so much of who she was I could feel tolerence but not acceptance and that is sad too. We are not monoliths - it is so unfair. We want to wear pretty make up, and have our nails done and enjoy feeling like a girl from time to time and I do not believe there is a blessed thing wrong with that and we should not be denied but loved and accepted. I believe I will be able to find someone, I am very open about it, and honest, have nothing to hide and am not ashamed of who I am. I have an eccentricity that might make me a facinating person for some woman out there, then I can do all the guy things as well.

[Paula G]

Remember, anyone who condemns us as crossdressers forgets that we are also fathers, husbands, sons, members of the community, valuable workers, taxpayers.

I would describe myself as Father Son husband, musician, gardener, adopted son of God, oh yes and I have some gender confusion issues.

[Davita]

Pervert? hummm... Consider the source when someone bothers to make that statement. Do you value their opinion? Do I care at all what that person thinks?

Now if we talk deviant.... ok; I am by simple definition. I deviate from a norm. Do I feel or am I perverted for it? nnaaahhhhh

[Sarah Ann]

I'm not a pervert, I'm a weirdo. Get it straight Anyway, everyone knows perverts are icky , whereas all the sisters here are wonderful people, right?

[DebbieW]

. I took the opportunity to open up to our hospice chaplin, she was very understanding and wonderful. To know we are accepted for all of who we are without having to hide when we want to feel pretty. .

It's wonderful that your chaplain was understanding and accepts you for what you are. I think it's a case of people are frightened of what they don't understand. It never ceases to amaze me how much it relaxes me when I'm at home and dress in lady's attire.

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