Crossdressers-Haven.com

I was reading a Dear Annie column in a news paper today and there was a question that began "Why do people make a big deal out of men who are crossdressers" Her response to the complete questions was "Women who wear men's clothing generally do so because it is more comfortable. Men who wear women's clothing, which is decidedly less comfortable, often do so beacuse it gives them a sexual thrill or satisfies some emotional need".

So do you CD/TG or even you GG's out there agree with her statement that women's clothes are decidedly less comfortable?

I have to say that I don't agree with her. My first thought was what is she wearing and where is she buying it that her clothes make her feel so uncomfortable. Malybe I am off base but one of the reasons I left the "professional" world was how uncomfortable I found wearing suits and ties. I have also found it pretty difficult all my life to find a pair of jeans that really fit me all that well. I am a lot more comfortable in a dress than I am in jeans and work shirt.

I would also have to say to her that I don't crossdress because of any sexual thrill, or to fulfill some emotional need. I crossdress because it appeals that female side of me, its part of who I am not some outlet for some deep seated emtional hangup.

That's my oppinion.

I don't agree with her either.

Dresses and skirts are waaay more comfy for me And yeah..I hate that its deemed 'sexual' (ick! It never has been here. Not even slightly). I suppose 'emotional need' is ambiguous. Am I a little bag of quivering nerves and needs? Nah..not really. Do I feel compressed to a point where it affects my quality of life if I don't accept my internal gender? Completley it does! - and its messy.

The whole shabang is more comfortable to me..dresses, skirts, tops, shoes and accessories. Sometimes physically, and sometimes the interesting cuts and pretty colours just make my head more comfortable.

Does someone who's a 100% guy's guy that happens to like bright coloured shirts wear them for 'emotional needs'?

I also do not agree with her. And I'll go one step further. It sounds to me as if she would be more comfortable dressing as a man and not as a woman. Well, who ever it was that answered the letter. I don't think Ann actually does it any more.

Columnists like Dear Annie haven't a clue. Generally speaking, guys start enjoying women's clothing at an early age. My hubby describes his feelings toward dressing as sensual, not sexual. But at the early stage of puberty, everything is sexual.
Certainly there is an emotional need to cross dress that no other option will replace.

Which gender clothing is more comfortable? Depends on the situation. I would never do gardening wearing a skirt and heels. Loose fit jeans are the only reasonable option. Am I wearing men's clothing? Not really, the style may be the same, but denim cut to a female body is women's clothing. On formal occasions, I can't imagine how a buttoned up shirt and tie can be more comfy than a dress. OK, heels all night are a killer, but I could wear flats instead.

There is a difference in genders, let's embrace that difference, along with the clothing. On hot summer days, I can't go without a bra. Would a Cd that wears a bra in the heat of summer doing so for sexual thrill, or more likely the emotional need to portray as a woman?

To sum up, do I agree that woman's clothing is more uncomfortable? Sometimes. I'm quite willing to wear the foundation control to look as good as I can for my husband on certain occasions. Generally, if your women's clothing is 'decidedly' less comfortable, you're wearing the wrong size.

Eileen

First let me get something off my chest. I don't wear women's clothes, I don't wear men's clothes. I wear MY clothes. http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/p ... 2&start=50#" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Ahh, that felt good. Having said all that, I do get the gist.

I think Ellen is spot on. I hated the button up shirt and tie when I was in the 'professional' world. Then when I started shopping at slightly higher end stores, a helpful clerk measured my neck and suggested I was in the wrong size. Made all the difference in the world.

I always hated the suit coat, I was always too warm. Not much of a fan layering.

When en feme I got to layer in order to de-emphasized a few things. Besides, it is stylish! Again too warm. But for some reason I am more tolerant. Probably because I do it so rarely that the enthusiasm drowns out the mundane.

Levies 501 and a tee shirt, or a nice airy skirt. Comfortable clothes are comfortable clothes.

Hi,

A Kilt or skirt is more how i like to dress yes i have a few dresser's that ...are ... okay, not really my thing, a skirt & tee or blouse is by far and my Renaissance garb is even better still. still skirts and blouse's better still i made most of my clothes so they fit me if i mess up i redo them ,

My weight size height is right for what i wear.

Male clothes of any type , i... totaly... hated . as for jeans never wore them longs was a fight none fitted a nightmare so most of my life was in shorts if they did not fit me they ripped up the back & were gone, male clothes never fitted, my body shape, and i tryed a few,

Even Mom gave up on my clothes, I wore a tie two times maybe three i refused to, it was because of background detail it was like my Mom being strangled, I TOTALY hated it , if you touched me or put your hands near my neck i was in fight mode, my hands were there so quick in responce to defend myself, Yes it effected me, part of my HATE of any thing male in reguard to clothes,

As a direct answer to womens clothes, being comfortable yes they are, when i make them, though many do fit me from the shops,

Some of us have very bad expreance's with in family so it shows Mentaly & other wise, abuse if you like in the past,

Clothes that are made for women are not the same shape or fit as men, & even then because we are shaped differently what fits one wont another, Ill site our Edwardian group 1900 =14 now many women were small around the waist i wont say why , & then our bust's so how many men could fit those clothes, very few, if any = body shape,

Today its quite different we are taller some are bigger busted, wider hips & waist size is bigger, and bigger boned, hands as well.and feet, so what was worn then in many aspects was painfull to wear was not fitted for the body shape it was indused to make your waist smaller not to say what happened to womens insides it goes on in more detail as you look at history, Living in Edwardian times,

Guess who wanted women to look like that. i wonder why,

...noeleena...

Nope I believe she is wrong, I always buy a proper fitting outfit and always try on shoes for fit.
Heck I can wear heels all day long in comfort if I don't go over 3 3/4" heel.

Proper fitting cloths make a huge difference.

Sarah Beth wrote:I was reading a Dear Annie column in a news paper today and there was a question that began "Why do people make a big deal out of men who are crossdressers" Her response to the complete questions was "Women who wear men's clothing generally do so because it is more comfortable. Men who wear women's clothing, which is decidedly less comfortable, often do so beacuse it gives them a sexual thrill or satisfies some emotional need".

So do you CD/TG or even you GG's out there agree with her statement that women's clothes are decidedly less comfortable?

There was a TV series over here a few years ago where people were trained up quickly to take on a specialist role. One programme was about a Royal Navy officer who had to take on the role of drag queen.

They got in a drag queen to mentor him. Just about the first thing the mentor did was put the guy in a dress - which was conceived as throwing him in at the deep end. The guy was like a horse refusing at a fence. His instinctive reaction was just to recoil - this was despite having agreed to take part in the programme etc..

To his credit, he did swiftly get over it and the programme went on. But the point is there are very, very powerful forces in the male psyche saying "don't wear women's clothes". I don't believe any such forces exist in the female psyche saying "don't wear men's clothes".

It's these forces, IMO, that are the issue not the clothes per se. Like it's what wearing the clothes means - and for a man to wear woman's clothes means something very different to what a woman wearing a man's clothes means.

The clothes are just clothes.

Well, I suppose it really has to with what you are wearing. I tend to wear shapewear and padding to give me a more feminine silhouette. I also adore high-heels. After a long evening in high heels and constricting shapewear I have to tell you that I'm ready to get out of my street clothes and into a nightgown or jammies. Now they are comfortable but I just wouldn't feel as though I was stylin' if I wore my jammies to the mall.

Hugs,

Sally

Quite true, Sally. Shapewear is uncomfortable, but if you were actual female, they wouldn't be needed.
Speaking of jammies, I kinda look forward to the cooler season, so I can wear my flannels. So comforting.

Eileen

Dear Annie is certainly incorrect in her statement. There is nothing uncomfortable about the soft and refreshing fabrics of female clothing. Men's clothing is so dull and scratchy in the Heat. No wonder J Edgar Hoover wore women's silk under clothing under his male attire. (Bet Dear Annie did not know that).

Like all of us I enjoy wearing the clothing because I can and it allows me to experience my feminine side along with a relaxed and somber feeling. It actually empowers me at times.

As for sexual pleasure. Ha Ha Ha. While there may have been some small (yes small) feelings of arousal in my early days, I have far outgrown them now.

Eileen,
Sweetheart you are so correct about women flannel PJ's, I love mine

With some exceptions I would say women's clothing is much more comfortable. I many ways, the skrts, dresses are not confining and are comfy on. Wearing a bra to hold my forms so I can wear a pretty blouse is nice too. I like the choices that women have in fabric also. To wear a long silky nigthgown is so wonderful nothing constricting at the waist. I wish the walls would come down on what is appropriate to wear a a gender. It would make me change my whole warddrobe in a heartbeat.

Hugs,

Erica

I have a couple of dresses that are just a lot of maintenance to wear, doesn't mean they are uncomfortable. I really think my womens clothes are much more comfortable and less binding than mens clothing. I

Anthony Simon wrote:It's these forces, IMO, that are the issue not the clothes per se. Like it's what wearing the clothes means - and for a man to wear woman's clothes means something very different to what a woman wearing a man's clothes means.
The clothes are just clothes.

As a friend is fond of saying, "Yes, no, maybe." But in general, decidedly yes. Female clothing means comfort and sensuality to me - except for bras, shapewear, wigs, nylons and pantyhose. They all feel good, initially. Sexy and girlish. But after an hour or so, no. I've gotten comfortable with the fact that I'm a solid 73yo and not the nine or twelve-year-old girl of my dreams and fantasies. So what little sense of style I have fits the female that I really would be, were I so. So, I rarely feel a need for the more constricting garments. Comfort and sensuality rule.

Most days I wear summer dresses or a caftan around the house. Usually with panties. I wear lightweight jeans and slacks, and t-shirts or Hawaiian sports shirts when outside. Again comfort, and as much as possible, sensuality. I haven't worn a tie, a suit coat, or a turtleneck in forty years.

I often underdress outside the house, but never wear female outer clothing - my neighborhood would instantly classify and condemn me as all the things I'm not: gay, predator, pedophile, (and those who've seen Pulp Fiction) a BDSM dungeon master or worse. In full kit I could probably pass casual scrutiny so long as I didn't speak and I watched my posture and arm and hand movements. But I feel less and less need for that - maybe once or twice a year, when I've mowed the beard and styled the hair.

So there are two elements here: self-perception and sensuality. Sensuality is much more important for me now. When I was much younger, self-perception ruled. But even then I was unable to see myself as anything other than a poor version of my fantasies.