Crossdressers-Haven.com

What if things were different and what if it were equally acceptable for young boys growing up to wear knit tops that conform to the shape of their upper body, with a skirt and sandals (for example)? What would have happened to us had we not been judged and forced to hide but were instead fully accepted and encouraged to be who we are and who we turned out to be anyway? Isn't it tragic for our slender minority that the majority through time have suppressed and forced into hiding something that should not be. What about for the new generation of trans gender boys today why can't things be different for them. I feel this tragic abuse of our minority should stop, does anyone else feel upset about what continues to happen over and over again knowing how wrong such suppression is? It is painful enough to realize we are different but It has been a horrible way to proceed through life beaten into submission by an ignorant majority. We are emotionally damaged, living with the ghosts of those who suppressed us still influencing us today. It is so wrong. It is an outrageous and harmful practice perpetuated by society and more than one spiritual faith strongly influences and adds to societal suppression of those who are trans gender. I am angry that had this been recognized, our parents could have discussed this with us. They could have comforted and encouraged us telling us it is alright to be who we are, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with us it is just who we happen to be and we should never have to apologize for being who we are. That we are a wonderful and colorful addition to society and that we are a special group. What if they had encouraged us and had started providing the additional feminine clothing to our wardrobes. Here are some panties and camisoles, here are some pretty shoes and some dresses skirts and tops to wear, why don't you try them on and come on down and wear them today honey, it's alright join your sisters, or I like having another daughter around when you want to. Let's go shopping! Imagine how different we would be today, would we even be on this site supporting each other trying to overcome a lifetime of abuse and suppression and fear?

This also means our right to enter a university, and to have a career should also be protected. Law suits must be brought and I would predict that today they would be successful overwhelmingly. I mean I do believe progress is being made but there is still a lot of work to be done for us as a tiny minority.

I have problems with anger, not particularly about the CDing, but in general. My impression is that people can only deal with so much of it before they switch off. The trouble with getting upset with an issue such as this is you can paint yourself into a corner - where you're too angry for people to listen.

In the past I have noticed that happening to me. I can remember one specific instance where I really couldn't talk I was so angry. The odd thing that happened next was that I kind of mentally went off in a corner (actually had a walk) and my anger turned into humour. Which was - and is - a saving grace for me.

Well I am not chewing the carpet or foaming at the mouth angry...just the kind of gee whiz! angry. I mean nothing we can do to change society, it is fun to think gee wally...what if the world had been like this for us it would have been a much better or easier for us and we would not be so screwed up!! Oh well, it is and we more or less are...

I am in a skirt top and flats and realized this is little different from wearing shorts only with no partition between the legs - what is the big deal?? Life is exasperating! Last night it was very dark, the breezes were balmy so I walked down on my dock in my chamise and panties - it was just so amazingly comfortable something we as men NEVER get to experience but then again it would have to be a casual dress not a chamise during daylight hours!

Actually, now-a-days, there is no one stopping anyone (if single) from wearing what we want.

Quote; "Actually, now-a-days, there is no one stopping anyone (if single) from wearing what we want." The only one stopping us, is ourselves. We fear ridicule the most, or so, I am generalizing. Group pressure is continually pushing us to conform to the groups demands whether we like it or not. The question is, can we move beyond the pressure? If one does it, people think you are weird, if two do it they will think it is for humor. If three do it, they will think it may be a trend, but if many do it they will think it is a revolution! I wouldn't start throwing my male clothes into the Boston harbor yet, but you may be amazed to find out how just a small few can make changes!

Hi.

Your in the wrong county wrong land and wrong thinking .

Go to Scotland wear a Kilt or = skirt in english a blouse or= shirt in english .

Go to the Islands wear a grass skirt or linen , men or women lovely bright colours and tops are lovely , join the Brass bands and wear skirts any way.

i wont drag up our group Renaissance and what we wear.

You have to look at western thinking and the why. and youll find theres never been a time boys or men or girls or women have not worn some form of dress or skirts, oh sorry fig leafs, ooop's another story,

Western thinking has got to narrow minded, for its own good,.... because of money fashion ... maybe....

...noeleena...

I suppose you all are right but we would have to sue and might not win for the right to keep a job in many places, and even then would probably have to sue to be allowed to advance in our position fairly if we earn it. True enough I can walk right out the front door and go anywhere if I choose to. But at this point we may be calling the lawyer for the right to enter a restaurant to eat or even to shop in many places.

I agree- we are the ones that hold the key to our own jail cell. I believe we have to overcome the ghosts that keep beating us over the head and holding us back. I have been screwed up if I weren't I would be completely out in the open and not even concerned about any of this. I would probably not be on this "online support group" as I think of this Forum. I would be a lot more relaxed about it. I suppose I will endeavor to persevere.... I still have 20-30 years it's getting better, it is better recently than it has been and that is how it should be.

Anne Bonny wrote: I suppose I will endeavor to persevere...

You probably don't mean it like this, but "endeavour to persevere" is a line out of The Outlaw Josie Wales, one of my favourite movies. It's delivered by the Chief Dan George character, a Cherokee Indian who had once been up to Washington as part of a delegation putting the Cherokee case to the powers that be.

They get told by one politician (I think the secretary of the Interior) to "endeavour to persevere". The Chief said they thought about this for a long time and then declared war on the Union.

The great thing about this movie is that it's a revenge movie that turns into something else. Josie Wales is a deeply embittered character who, at the end, has been redeemed by the rag-tag band of people who gather about him (or that's my read).

Anthony Simon wrote:

Anne Bonny wrote: "endeavour to persevere" is a line out of The Outlaw Josie Wales

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

In the Josie Wales instance it's meant to placate someone into inaction and to abandon hope.

In the Book of Changes, the I Ching, an often used phrase is "perseverance furthers," which means that continued effort will achieve progress towards one's goal.

I like the second usage better.

(There's a story about a noted English fop and presumed homosexual being interviewed regarding his claim of conscientious objection to participating in the war against the Bosch. He was asked what he would do if he came upon a vile Hun trying to rape his grandmother: "I should endeavor to attempt to interpose my body" he said.)

But back to Anne's original point: that it's wrong for our parents not to have accepted us as we wanted to be accepted. Very true. Some parents have done this. Not many, but some in every age. And because of media coverage, more parents are now able to accept the chosen gender presentation of their children.

But even then, there is a difference between what one's parents will accept and what society in general will accept, and society's acceptance depends on local religious and moral strictures, and the law. Somehow, even at a very early age, and even without anyone telling us so, we know we must hide because it's shameful to dress and behave as one of the "weaker" sex. Yet we are compelled to do so, and really have no choice but to periodically dress ourselves so, even to the point of "passing," and for some of us, even living as much of our lives as we possibly can, as women.

Some cultures have made a place for these children and the adults they become, given them roles to carry out and vocations to pursue. Ours has not.

And yes, it's a damned shame!

Interpose his body - you have me laughing! I just watched Little Big Man but Endeavor to Persevere is a memorable line, saw Josie Wales too...and I like Chief George probably dead now, that they thought and thought then declared war is also hilarious!!

Well...I am lucky now I am retired and can tell anyone I want to where to go which was always a goal of mine but the ghosts still haunt me. I am making progress though - opening the door and hey...who knows I have been outside even driven my car in a dress but only when it is pitch black outside - hey...that's progress!!!