Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all !! I am back after a long absence. Just gradually drifted away, but never forgot my fav place. Anyway, I have been having some issues with my CDing and my SO. Finally broke down and started therapy in March. It has been doing wonders for me. Still had a few up and down times ( and dealing with anxiety attacks this summer ), but things are getting better. I have even started dressing at therapy !! Never would have thought I would be dressed in the real world, but it feels so great and I am so relaxed around others. I am really enjoying this new journey in my life. Maybe Valerie will finally enjoy the real world more as time goes. I see her doing a shopping trip at some point in the future. Hope to get to know more of the new members, as I am sure there are quite a few that I won't recognize..

Welcome back Valerie!

Welcome back, Valerie.

Welcome back, Valerie.

Thanks everyone !!

Welcome back Valerie.

Hum...Ups and downs. I have thought about therapy and even discussed my cross dressing with a male psychologist I was seeing earlier in my wife's dementia for depression. I had wondered gee...what If I went back to talk about cross dressing and what if I were to go to sessions dressed. Wow, you are doing that. I have thoughts of getting in the car to drive around dressed as kind of an exercise. I am fine at home, even have lots of people who know and accept but I was always shy. One thing to be secure and confident at home another to step out the door.

I am I believe ... gender fluid because I sway back and forth, but I also believe I am not full strength or do not feel comfortable or that I fit with men fully...but I do feel more comfortable with women though I do not fit fully there all the time either. I do think I fall in between. Sometimes no desire to dress and it all goes away, but it cycles round agian hence I "go with the flow." I just have to be careful ... like I deleted some great shots of Anne off my smart phone!!! But I never purge and if asked I will always matter of fact tell anyone who asks that I am gender fluid as a constant.

I do not have any problem being this way but it seems to have me at times storing away all female things, soap, shampoo, make up and clothing etc and leaving out the male gear then pulling it all out again... But I never purge because I know myself, I have been this way since I was 9, maybe even earlier than that.

And My wife knew, came to understand but it was a level of tolerance not full on open acceptance which does not care but we loved each other and that is why we had a good marriage all the way to the end...but I am still caring for her her dementia is now awful, total care, helpless I do not think she really knows who I am though sometimes I may hear my name called out and I am there...

I see you have some of the same thoughts as I have, Anne Bonny. Guess the same things run thru a lot of our minds.

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