Crossdressers-Haven.com

Well I am an 18 year old male. I still live in my parent's house along with my grandma also living here. For the past 4 or 5 years I would secretly go to walmart and buy female clothing for me to wear such as socks, no show socks, g-strings, sandals, leggings, and bras. Most of the time I would keep the clothes hidden for a while and then throw them away at a public place so they wouldn't be found. I now have a medium sized collection of 7 g-strings, 3 bras, and 2 pairs of no show socks. I now keep them in plastic zip tie bags between my mattress and box spring. Before I did not keep them in a bag, so I wore g-strings to work and came home and washed them in the shower and put them underneath my mattress while they were still wet. Well now today I noticed that there are some pretty huge pink stains on my box spring and on the top of my mattress (not as bad on the mattress) and my box spring sheet is white. So I have bright pink stains in my white sheet. I don't have enough cash to buy another sheet because I see they cost around $60 (my mom monitors my bank account so I can't use my debit card) and even if I bought a new one it would be noticeable because it wouldn't be the exact same style of the one I have now. The stains are not noticeable unless you lift up the mattress, Well right now I put warm wash cloths underneath my mattress in an attempt to have them absorb some of the pink coloring. If my parents found out I wore female clothes I would be kicked out of the house and shunned from the family.

More: I also have a secret girlfriend I have been dating for 4 years online as my parents would not approve of that relationship either, so most of my life is well kept secrets.

I can't stop wearing the clothes though. It has become such a powerful addiction and I am simply happier while wearing them. They make my nights at work go faster and make them more enjoyable. They make me feel comfortable physically and emotionally. My family would definitely not approve of this lifestyle of mine and my current way of living would be destroyed if they found out. I could use any advice you guys have. I would really appreciate it.

1st, welcome to the Haven.

With the pink stains, there are products that go into washing machines that absorb dyes that have run amok; there are other products that remove dye stains. See https://www.ritstudio.com/.

With the wet clothes, stop it. They eventually get a smell from whatever makes them in damp clothes that have laid around forever. Also, a wet spot between the box springs just might make mold after awhile. Your panties and things can be dried fairly quickly with a hair dryer on the low heat settings. Try it and see what setting works best for you.

As for your parents, what do they say or do that makes you think they will kick you out?

As for your girlfriend, How do you know she's a girl or who she says she is? Have you ever met? Four years is a long time to be talking with someone so she's probably legit. Does she know about your dressing?

Thank you for the warm welcome.

I looked into those products and they are something I would like to try. After leaving the washcloths under there overnight I was very surprised to see that most of the dye was absorbed. I now put dry washcloths under there to absorb the water and try to prevent mold from accumulating.

Well I'll go back to a story that happened 3 years ago. I was on my ipod at night watching these videos about sexual hypnosis and the like when my mom walked in on me, saw and confiscated my ipod. Apparently on the suggested videos on youtube there were videos about how to grow breasts and the like. Well she exploded and interrogated me on whether or not I wanted to be a girl and she threatened to send me away. She actually made me see a psychologist and the psychologist said I was perfectly normal so then my mom laid off for a bit. It was all very very embarrassing. My parents and grandma are extremely closed minded and are discriminatory on subjects like this and all related.

No, I have not met her in person as she lives in Washington DC and I live in Minnesota. It's kind of interesting because we didn't meet on a dating site. We met on a strategy app called Clash of Clans. Neither of us were looking for romance. We met and were friends for quite some time until we started dating. Being in the network administration/cyber defense field I was naturally skeptical to her identity. I've accumulated a long list of tactics I used to prove her identity.

-She sent me around 50 photos as of now and each photo I have piped through various reverse-lookup image sites and not one photo was found anywhere on the internet.
-We have talked multiple times, each time she having the same voice.
-I made her take a selfie while holding up a piece of paper with my name next to her face which she completed (she wrote my name on a box of whale snacks)
-I've verified her address using reverse-lookup phone number tools.
-I've visited her school website multiple times and verified the names of her teachers and coaches.
-And she doesn't ask me for $600 for a plane ticket to fly to my house (which is a good sign )

I have never told her directly about my dressing as it is kind of a new milestone in my life to start identifying as a cross dresser. I have made small allusions to it, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't know. When we play games together I often play as a female character and when she asked me about it I told her I like roleplaying as a female. Right now I don't feel that comfortable telling anyone, but if I were tell someone she would be the first to know.

I do not currently have a hair dryer in my downstairs bathroom. I have adopted a new method of drying my clothes that seems to work alright. I take the wet clothes and put them on a towel and then roll the towel up around them and then step on the towel for a few minutes and when I am done they are mostly dry, and now I have a separate bag for clothes that are mildly damp to be in until they fully dry. I should have used bags earlier. It is so much easier to keep everything organized.


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

Welcome, Scarlett!

Hi, Scarlett, and welcome to the Haven!

Just a suggestion, but most new members introduce themselves to everyone in the New Members section, where others can welcome them to the cyber family.

ScarlettEbbi wrote:No, I have not met her in person as she lives in Washington DC and I live in Minnesota. ... <snip> ... We met and were friends for quite some time until we started dating. Being in the network administration/cyber defense field I was naturally skeptical to her identity. I've accumulated a long list of tactics I used to prove her identity.

You have never actually 'met her' in real life (IRL), so what you are doing cannot be considered as 'dating.' You are just having an online friendship with her, which is fine. Who knows, there may come a day when you may actually meet her in person and discover there really is something there between the two of you . . . or you may discover the complete opposite.

One hopes that this 'relationship' works out for you, but at your young age you really should be looking for someone closer to home.


- SL

Hi Scarlett, aboard.

Bleach will usually work, mix a cap-full of bleach with about 16oz of water. Luckily, the white material hasn't been run through a drier, which would set the color permanently.

You may need to try RIT Color Remover, which can usually be found at drug and hardware stores.

Ventilate the room by opening windows and running a fan.

SilverLady(SO) -

I would have to strongly disagree with you. It is considered online dating which is a form of dating. Physical contact is not needed to evolve a relationship from friendship to romance. I think it would be a very bad idea to ditch the girl I have spent all my hours with every day since we have been dating. We probably spend more time doing activities with each other than a majority of couples that do not date online. When she comes home from school we play games and text until 2am every night. I can't think of one logical reason why I should betray the best person in my life in order to engage in a wild goose chase to find someone else to replace her.


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

DonnaT -

Thanks you for the tips. I did not have access to bleach so I used an alternative, hydrogen peroxide and it did a great job lessening the pink dyes intensity. I will use it once again tomorrow to remove the remainder of the stain.


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

I have to think back when I was 18, living at home with my parents and very in the closet and very fearful of being caught.

Your box springs have dye in them from rather cheap and poor quality feminine clothing. Putting the clothing there still wet um...lucky you do not have mold and mildew growing between the box spring and mattress. So that needs to stop immediately. If you can allow the mattress and box spring to dry you might be able to try ... well if you had access to a carpet shampooer with an upholstery attachment and knew how to use it...you might try cleaning the area. There is also something a type of carpet/ upholstery stain remover found with most cleaning supplies at any grocery store "Spot Shot" which is very very good at removing spots. You spray it on...wait a few minutes..3-5 to allow it to work then with a brush or a rag you brush it then pat the area with a dry cloth to absorb the moisture. You may have success with that. Short of that... what to do? ...

find another place to hide your stash...

If none of the above works you might be able to find some very dark dye and apply it to the area then make some excuse for why you would hide something wet between your box spring and mattress? Paint?

Your fear about your parents disowning you are probably overblown...will they be upset and have a huge discussion with you about it all...yep. But I doubt they are going to permanently throw you out of the house. Will it ever be forgotten by them? nope...will they get over it and move on? well... most likely in time...this is probably a much better solution than trying to use darker stain...they will probably be more upset if you do that. Try to get the stain out. I think Spot Shot is about $3 or $4 per can and one can should do if it is a small area... try that first. They do not have to know about your girl friend. and you can always store your stuff somewhere else...dry go to a laundry mat with your girl friend or perhaps she will wash them and dry them for you with her stuff and give them back to you dry?

Gee after looking at the above posts...try those solutions first they sound better. Good Luck.

Interesting to hear you say that Anne, who worries about all the people financially dependent on yourself "disowning" you - lol!!!

Seriously though, I think you're right Anne. Scarlett, I think you don't need to be overly concerned that your family will entirely disown you. But alternatively, if they do then I guess it might's well happen now as 10 years down the road.

You've gotten a lot of great advice on dealing with the side effects, the question now really is what you will do about the fundamental cause. Your online girlfriend sounds like a real keeper, if she tolerated all the cross-checking you put her through without telling you to shove it...... So I'd suggest you should be honest with her and tell her everything. My guess is that she will be cool with it, lately is sort of fashionable to be a crossdresser amongst the younger generation. In all honesty, you have nothing worth stealing so the possibility that she is an imposter trying to scam you is pretty far fetched. And not that is matters much, but you could get plane tickets right now from MSP >> BWI for less than $400, in case you're interested.

So my conclusion: there is no future to living in your family's basement; don't stay up until 2am playing video games; be honest with this girl who has proven herself worth trusting; figure out "what the hell" you're going to do with your life and start doing it; don't leave damp/wet clothing laying around to get mouldy; and most importantly, only include in the discussion of your life's plan those people who will offer a constructive opinion and nobody who will attempt to compel you into their preconceived notions.


*** Post edited to insert spacing between paragraphs (that makes it so much easier for everyone to read!), as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

Scarlett,

Maybe I shouldn't reply as I can't relate to cyber relationships as 'dating', the fascination with undergarments, or staying up to 2am unless it's work related. Yes, I was one of the party hardy girls back then, but with actual people in the area nor a job to wake up for.

As a Mom, my advice is to learn how to do laundry. Bundle up your treasures and wash and and dry them at a Laundromat. BTW, do the rest of your laundry at the same time, Mom will love that.
Since you live in the basement, and stay up till next day, can't you run a load while texting your GF?

Bleach is sold at most grocery stores, so you do have access to it.

Eileen