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One thing I would absolutely love to do is go shopping but the thought makes my blood run cold with fear. Has anyone here purchased something feminine from a shop? Where you nervous about it? Did the cashier get judgy? What did you buy?

Sorry for all the questions but it's something I'd love to do and I really want to be prepared for my first time

Buying a bra is probably the hardest to do.

Simply browsing for one, can be nerve wracking. And buying one, most clerks know that men don't buy bras for their lady friend or SO.

Other items should be easy, just pretend it's a gift.

But really, just be honest with yourself, steel the nerves and don't give a flying leap what others may or may not be thinking.

It has never been very difficult for me. But, I have had some funny moments when clerks ask if this is for my wife. At first, I just nodded. Now, I say, "My wife is very tiny and this would fit me". You would be surprised at some of the expressions I get from the clerks.

What I am saying is, You can have a lot of fun with a quick answer. Don't be afraid to spend your money on something that you want, The clerk is supposed to take your money and make you feel important. That is what their employer is paying them for.

Rhanda

I've decided to go for it...sort of. I've ordered a few things online but I'm going to collect them from the shop tomorrow. I'm really nervous about it but you're right. Just news to be brave and go for it. I'm really excited about getting them so I wont let nerves or anything stop me. Besides if they ask ill take your advice and say its a gift

One important thing about your shopping..... Don't settle. Either you like it or you don't; it either fits or it doesn't. Don't waste your money getting things because you are nervous and think you have to because the sales staff was so helpful.

Another thing is just be a shopper. You shop all the time; buying panties is just another time shopping. If you act normal (which your probably are) then no one will have an issue. Those that have issues will have issue with other things in life too; not your problem.

Ask questions; you have them, ask them. However somethings you don't ask. One easy question you can ask anyone (well two), is, "does this fit true to size" and "what do you think of the style/color/whatever?" Always know your return policies and that's another to ask if you don't know for that store.

I've found no one seems to care what you're buying.
The other day at CVS I stopped by to get some pantyhose, a woman was looking at the brand that I wanted I waited a couple of minutes and she still didn't move so I just said excuse me, and grabbed the ones I wanted that were right next to her. She didn't even seem to notice anything.

ClaireStew wrote:One thing I would absolutely love to do is go shopping but the thought makes my blood run cold with fear. Has anyone here purchased something feminine from a shop? Where you nervous about it? Did the cashier get judgy? What did you buy?

I think most, if not all of us, have been there. The first time is always the hardest. At this point, I've been to a few shops and had help from the staff. Always nervous, but it gets easier. Most of the time I just spit out something like "I have about a 40" waist, will these 2XL panties fit or should I go for the 3X?" "Can you help me with find a bra? I think about a 42 band and I brought my forms with me." "I'm about 5' 9" and 207 lbs, what size stockings should I get?" While I've gotten a few strange, but fleeting, looks, I've never got struck by lightening or tarred and feathered.

Thanks for all the advice I'll definitely take it on board. Later today ill be going shopping for the first time. I am nervous but its sort of an excited nervous and I cant wait to just go ahead and do it

Go for it, Claire! You can do it!

Just remember the advise given to you here. Shopping isn't that bad even though it might seem like it is... believe me... I know!!!



There have been times that I had been so nervous, that I just couldn't do it. Instead, I'd mostly order things online and had been doing it for years. I have recently rediscovered the fun of shopping in person though!

Just try to remember that you are just another shopper, and like the other girls said... nobody really pays that much attention anyways. Most of the time, its we ourselves who put those fears in our own heads.

Claire hope your shopping went well.

I was nervous as a whore in church, and then I just went ahead and did it. Shoe shopping is the most fun.

I guess the best suggestion is to admit that you crossdress. There are millions of us out
here and most have had the same fear in the beginning. Soon we realize that when we
buy feminine products the SA don't care one bit and I would guess all have dealt with CDs.
Eventually you will just go to a store and purchase womens clothes. My best suggestion is
that you drive more than 15 minutes from home.
I have no problem dressed as a male and even asking to try on a dress or skirt. I have
even been fitted for bras in many stores. Good Luck and have fun

SA's are there to serve you and the other customers or guests as we were told they were back when I had a part time job at Target while I was in college. They are not there to judge nor should they. Still we have to remember they are human and subject to beliefs and prejudices same as we have and they are entitled to them as much as we are. That said like with any job you need to learn to put those aside when you punch in and do your job! When you work in retail your job is to help all customers regardless of what they are shopping for and assist them to make sure not only they purchase what they are looking for but also their shopping experience was a pleasant one so they return and spend more money. If you have an issue report it to the store management as well as the corporate office. I think every major retailer has a "contact us" tab somewhere on there website and do not hesitate to use it. Be professional when complaining and give as many details as you can such as time, date, and the name of the SA. I cannot think of any chain store where the SA's are not required to wear a name tag.

All of this has brought back a cute story from my Target days. Another girl and were straightening up the lingerie department as it was almost closing time and we were supposed to leave the store ready for opening the next morning. She came over to me and gave me a gentle poke in the ribs and said something like "look over at the panties." There was an obviously nervous overweight college aged male going through the thong panties. holding some of them up to his waist as if he were trying to determine if they would fit him. She leaned in and whispered something like "I have a picture in my mind of him in those and it is not a pretty one" and giggled. I giggled along with her as I had to agree with her description. Still I had to wonder what she would have thought had she known what was tucked away in my panties as I was still pre op back then.

One time I felt embarrassed was in a cheap priced shop when I bought a nice lacy thong and the young girl assistant, probably about 20 years old, said "Hope it fits you, I'd like to see you in it" My reply was "I will come back some day and show you if you show me yours!"

Nervous yes.
Always a little bit. But just about all the time it was really nothing to get nervous about. I've shopped women's clothes in drab and drag.
The store is there for you the customer. If you are comfortable shopping dressed, I think, it makes it a lot easier. And you can try your items on.
If you shop not dressed, don't make excuses that the items are a gift. Tell them it's for you, if they ask. It starts becoming fun to get their reaction. They will help you either way.
I believe the main trick, if you are dressed, is to be presentable. And if not dressed, try to stay calm and not get red faced. Try it and practice , practice, it keeps getting easier. Good luck, and have fun.