Crossdressers-Haven.com

For me the driveing force behind why i love to dress up is not known to me, i know i get these urges too, and when i am the femme side in me just flows out naturaly, i totlay love feeling like a woman sometimes, and after when im just me, i feel more grounded, more alive.

Im trying to figure out why, seeing as how a lot of our experiances are the same, im asking you all, what is the force behind why u all want to dress? what is makeing u want to be enfemme?

Ahhh, that's a ten million dollar question. My answer: I don't know.

It's like you said, an urge, an itch that needs scratching. However, I do know I don't do it to feel like a woman. Let me correct myself here. I don't think I do it to feel like a woman, but I don't know for sure.

I also can't descibe the "force" driving me to cross dress.
Maybe I am not self confident enough with my male part, so I evolved my female part. But I am not sure about it.

My best guess about my drive - I am not as male as my sex suggests, and I am glad about it (I would never like to be comparable to those machos). I am more or less female too. So my personality consists of both genders and both of them like to be expressed. Well my mind expresses itself in discussions and thoughts, often here in this forum or at similar places. But the female part also likes to be physically expressed. Then I wish I had a female body (I would love to have natural breasts then) and I tried to get as close to it as possible. The "close-to" female body also likes to be dressed as a woman and also requests for female mannerism. Then Jabbela has awaken and wants to be part of my life as well.

Hugs, Jabbela

For me, the driving force behind my CDing is a combination of many factors.

Firstly, I find men's clothing to be rather dull and drab. All we get is shirts, pants, (maybe a necktie) and that is about it. Colour for men's clothing is either black, brown, or grey. On the other hand, I find women's clothing to be exciting, there is much more styles and colours to choose from.

As well, the texture of women's clothings feels much more softer and smoother than men's clothing.

And let's not forget the undergarments. For men, it is either boxers/tighty whities, and maybe an undershirt. But for women, again you have a plethora of choices, ranging from bikini panties to granny panties, then you have pantyhose/tights, in a wide range of colours, then you have a bra (either sports bra or underwire), then on top of that you can choose a girdle, camisole, slip, the combination is endless.

Another driving force is I find dressing up to be very relaxing, any stress I had during the day (ie. traffic, work, ...) is gone when I dress up. I don't know what it is, maybe it is the allure of the texture of the fabric, or the fact that you are in touch with your feminine side, I don't know, but I do know for me I find it extremely relaxing wearing women's clothing.

Next, depending on the garments you choose, I find the 'tightness' of certain women's clothing to be very comfortable. For instance, control panties, girldes, and bodyshapers/unitards. There is something about being enveloped in tight smooth clothing that feels very good.

Lastly, I feel a certain 'fascination' for women, I guess it is probablly because being of one sex, you tend to fantasize and understand how it feels like to be the other sex, and the closest possible way of doing so is by dressing and 'being' that other sex by CDing.

"The Urge?!"
Well let us assume we are dealing with a true crossdresser. We all agree we have a "feminine side/personna/alter-ego-whatever" and to apease that part of us that desires to express herself "she not only wishes to be adjuicated mentally, but physically and how does she do it physically, she simply "forces" the male to sucomb to her feminine wiles by allowing her to "come - out" in the most socially acceptable manner available, that being putting on the clothing of the ones she seeks to be/become/ emulate. She either dominates the male or represses him or converts him to her side and convences him that it is necessary for his well - being that she be allowed to use him to, if you will, "do her thing." Depending on how strong her influence is over him will determine how long, how often or to what extent this conversion takes place. We also know that she may take over completely and forever - which ain't all that bad either is it??
Just one girl's opinion, because you asked.
Virginia

What a question.

I started because it was something calling to me when I found the stash of my moms old college clothes. I had to wear them in secret , stashed under the bed, youuu know the tale. At about 14 or 15 she found the stash and would not talk to me. Just handed me a stack of books to read. Kinsey Report, Encyclopedia of Sex, a Guide to sexual feelings, never really just sitting down and discussing it. The driving force was unexplained.

I developed the following rational;
As I saw it women have the power in society. ( remember I am 17-18 and have had an experience where the men in my life are gone and the women run the show)
They allow men to think they have power, but in reality the women have the power behind the throne.
I want power.
To get the real root of power I must appear to be a woman.
To be a woman I must wear womans clothes.

I lived and drank with that fallicy for many years.

Now at age 43, 12 yrs sober April 7, I have come to terms with the real reason. I like women. I like everything about them. I like their clothes, Shoes, opportunities, and abilities. I do not want to be one, my equipment package is fine and I believe I'll keep it. I dress now for Relaxation, Eros. The female form is the most erotic thing I know of, Aislin helps me experience that by wearing clothes that mak you ask "Is She a HE?". And being uncertain of the answer.

I want to wear what women wear in public without fear of retribution.
I want to associate with my sisters and brothers, in public dressed the way I want to dress with out fear.

I hope this helps answer the question.

Aislin, Rock and Roll. Dear!
And congratulations on April 7 and for everyday in your future!
Love,
Virginia

Hi Aislin

Happy Anniversary as of April 7.

I thought you described much of what I feel very well, especially about feeling that women have the power and wanting to feel that myself (when I am feeling cynical) and just liking women a lot (when I am feeling good) It is something a lot of the people here say. Check out who would you be if you were a girl in the fun stuff section. So many of us would want to be someone real sexy. I think my dressing is sometimes a way of trying to get closer to that , to enjoy as a man feeling like a sexy woman.

Reminds me of the joke about what would happen if men had boobs? Answer: nothing because they would be too busy playing with them to do anything else. Yes I realize that many of the men here do have breasts and that this is a simplistic sophmoric joke. But I detect an element of truth in it at least for myself.

Very different from someone who is transgendered. I was really struck by Anita's answer elsewhere about how she mostly dresses en femme in public to project a feminine persona and then relaxes at home in drab. (I hope I got that right Anita)

I guess this shows just how much diversity we have here..........

Andrea

Thx all it hasnt answered why i do but it all gave me a much better idea, i guess

Hi Elandra I cd to relax and to feel better about myself. Also it has helped me to have a better outlook towards women.

Hi all,

Well girls I like women, but I do not like every thing about them, and they like everyone else only have the power that is given them. I consider myself fortunate to have more power than most that I know. Although it was not always like that.

So why do I dress? That answer is for freedom. The freedom to feel soft, the freedom to be as relaxed as is possible, the freedom to be free of the restrictions that male clothing places on me, and the freedom to experience the occasional retreat, (utopia if you will) a place of ideal perfection. Where it just feels so right to feel what I am feeling at that particular moment.

Love Darlene.

As I dress every night after work it is not as a result of an "urge". I wear protective clothing at work so it is a magnificent contrast to wear clothes that feel fantastic afterwards. Since the contrast is so great I find that work and leisure are easily separated. This coming from one who loves work and, as I am self employed, tended to work far too much in the past. Jane now requires more time so I now work more normal hours and spend more time relaxing.
Ms Jane.

I honestly don´t know. I dress for different reasons; sometimes when I´m feeling bad CDing helps but when I´m feeling great CDing makes me feel even better if that´s possible. Sometimes the softness of female clothing is so tempting I can´t resist.
There are times when I need to behave womanly and putting the female clothing on changes my behavior in seconds.
If I don´t dress for a few days I get the urge like today when I got home from work and immediately shaved my legs, washed my face, got dressed and put make-up on. I quess I´m hooked on crossdressing but I don´t care, I just do it!

Joanna