Crossdressers-Haven.com

We have a local crossdressers organization here called the "Blue Ridge Society." Unfortunatley the "leaders," have not done anything with it since February when we had the last meeting here at my house. The person who seems to "head it up" is going through a divorce and that has been her "excuse". We have had five or six new people sign our guest book since February and no one has contacted them, that's is sad as you all know how a lot of us struggle for acceptance and have lots of questions. If you remember, at the meeting we had in February, we had someone show up who had been recommend to "us" by their counselor and I doubt that there was any follow-up. I questioned if it was my place to contact her, but decided it was not - up until recently! As you know I also went to the GLBT meeting to see if they would accept crossdressers at their "Night of Elegance" dinner and dance? They did and I had a great time and meet some great people.
I finally got a response from "our fearless leader," last week and asked her to meet me this coming Friday night at at the local GLBT hang-out called "The Park." I have never been there but that is not the point, well it is as I always look for places where Virginia can go an just let it all hang out so to speak.
She responded to my EMail and said she would meet me there. If she shows I am tactfully going to read her the riot act about her responsibility to our community and how I feel she has been shirking her duties to our sisters. If she does not show I will be asking some of you how to take over the web site!!!! I need to know how to break in and make some changes to it so we can become more responsive to local girls who are seeking help. Uh, I might point out that she is an IT security officer for a local bank so "crashing' in our site may be impossible. I will of course inform her of my desires by Email first! Or do you think I should perhaps take a different track??? Maybe start a competing organization? We, The Blue Ridge Society" are a recognized group member of the "Pride" organizatin here in Roanoke. Just seeking some ideas.
Thanks, girls for you help!
Virginia

Virginia,

I am going to be brave and give the first reply.

I don't know all of the details involved, but from what you have posted, this would be my approach:

The leader is going through some tough times (you have certainly been through some yourself) and apparantly can't devote enough time/effort at this time to also attend to club business.

At the meeting with the leader, I would first try to do some comforting over her problems, then ask if I could help the organization by contacting the people. There may be the possibility of taking a position of greater responsibility within the group.

If the leader isn't reponsive, I would consider starting my own organization and affiliating with the "Pride" organization.

It would not be a good idea at all to try to hack into the organization's website - the leader would probobly consider it an act of hosility.

Just one girl's ideas,

Jadeanne

Virginia, that (confrontation) is not the way to handle it IMO.

Simply tell her you want to help and ask her for access to the web site so you can update it.

You should also discusss how to get the members back on track with meetings and such. You'll probably need email addresses of the members so you can contact them.

Remind her that there are others in the community that need an outlet and help, just like you, her and others of the group.

Hi Virginia--
If the organization has been off the track for that long, there's a good chance that she isn't capable of leading it at this time. I think you need to be prepared to take on either a) doing a lot of the work of bringing it back, or b) forming your own organization.

Her will to lead has got to come from within her, and it doesn't sound like it's there. And no, I wouldn't hack that website.

Hey Sis,

I agree with all of the above.

Love Darlene.

Hi Virginia,

If I were in your shoes, I would just diplomatically bring up your points at your meeting on Friday and go from there. I don't think I would hack into the website. My 2 cents. Good luck!

Steffie

Hi Virginia,

I agree with the others don’t go looking for a confrontation, but try to go as a friend and offer any help that you can. Assure the leader you are not trying to take over but to help as a “Vice President” would when there is too much to do. I might also bring up the point that

If you remember, at the meeting we had in February, we had someone show up who had been recommend to "us" by their counselor and I doubt that there was any follow-up.

If a counselor is recommending people to your organization the organization has an obligation to help. The counselor is a professional and if they are putting trust in your organization that is praise to the organization. I might also try to get the leader to “try the other shoe on for a while” in that if they were the person coming from the counselor and needed the help and has all the questions and mixed feelings how would the leader feel if after one meeting everything “disappeared”

Thanks for all your suggestions! Friday night, Jean, our leader and her TG friend Kathy met Brandi, my pre=op friend and I at the only GLTB night spot in town. Friday is a quite night so we were able to talk and we were able to make quite a bit of progress. We are going to send out invitations to previous attendees and contact the new ones who have signed our "Guest Book" and take a shot at a meeting in early September. I sure hope we can get back on track!
Thanks again.
Virginia

Sounds like a plan Virginia. Is the web page going to be updated soon?

Hi Donna,
I have discussed that with Jean and she said she will see what can be done. She and Kathy are in the planning stages of going to SCC again this year (I can't because that is when I am going to Florida to be with Brandi and her SRS) I am going to target September 10 as our next meeting and I will have it here at my house -- at least that is the plan right now!
Thanks, love ya,
Virginia