My mom just got me too...

Becca Chambers · Post by **Becca Chambers** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:02 pm

The title is self explanatory. I had two bras from Walgreens hidden in my closet, and my mom happened upon them. Seeing as this wasn't the first time I'd been caught, things got bad real fast. I won't get too into it, but I will say that words such as "freak" were brought up.
Needless to say, I'm still refusing to listen to anything she says in a blatant display of teenage rebellion (however, I have improved my hiding places from aforementioned point onward). Her slight overreaction would be the reason I've dissappeared for a while on here.

My point in all this is the burden of being a crossdresser without a mother or sister that likes to dress you up for fun is a great one. Most depressing, but I shall press onwards.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:29 pm

Becca,

You sound very mature for a teenager. My heart rejoices when I see one take ownership as you have done here.

I know it is difficult in situations such as yours. Be careful hon, wishing you all the best.

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:42 pm

Becca

I would echo Loretta's words. Hang in there and I'm sure your Mom will hopefully want to talk with you at some point. Freak doesn't exactly sound like something a loving mother would say but she might just be confused about what this means. So much of course depends on the kind of relationship you have with her. If you do get that chance to talk, just make sure you have the answers for her as it sounds to me like a dose of reassurance is what she needs right now. Good luck.

Stephanie

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:48 pm

Becca,

I agree with what my sisters wrote. You are not a freak!!!!!! There are literally millions of people just like you around the world. It would be my hope that someday your mother can come to terms with this. I am glad to see you have accepted yourself. Failure to accept oneself leads to self loathing, low self esteem and depression.

Good luck sister.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Becca Chambers · Post by **Becca Chambers** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:56 pm

To all of you,
Thanks for your support, but I don't expect any support or acceptance from my mother on this matter any time soon. She's one of those fascist, all-things-out-of-the-ordinary are wrong kinda moms. So, what can ya do....
On the ligher side, I may end up goin' out with a girl I know so she can dress me up a la femme because she missed her chance on Halloween. This bodes well, I reckon.

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 8:07 pm

It's nice that you have a friend that may enjoy this part of you. Just be careful when going to friends as part of your 'rebelling' against your mom.

The best way to rebel is to confront your accusor. Be calm, know your facts, and respond out of love. Constantly remind her that you love her, and ask for her's in return, to love all of who you are.

Becca Chambers · Post by **Becca Chambers** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 8:11 pm

This would have been our third talk, and all of those techniques I've tried in the past, so I'm prepared to just give up on it. Thanks anyway.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 9:09 pm

Becca,
I can only echo what my sisters have said!! You appear to be pretty well-adjusted to your having this "gift." As you know it is not gonna go away, and hopefully you will venture beyond what it can do for you other than just the dressing. I can assure you there is a beautiful world to explore with this gift we have. Learn about it, learn to use it and it will return bounty to you beyond any expectations - I know from experience it will!
Virginia

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:17 pm

Hi Becca,

I'm sure if my mom had discovered that I was TG'd when I was younger she would have thought I was a freak too. Hopefully time can change things for your mom like it did for mine.

It's good that you know who and what you are though.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 11:16 pm

Hi again Becca,

You wrote:This would have been our third talk, and all of those techniques I've tried in the past, so I'm prepared to just give up on it. Thanks anyway.

I want to give you a picture from the other side of what has been posted here. First a disclaimer - I am not suggesting this is the situation with your mother. But it might be.

Usually when mothers react like yours has, especially not responding positively to all of the techniques that you have tried in the past. there could be an underlying hidden reason. If this is the situation then there is nothing you can do about it. It is an over reaction on her part that serves as a mask that is designed to hide some deep seated problem (insecurity) in her own life, that she is not comfortable with, and has yet to come to terms with.

You are the only one who can make that decision.

One clear indicator is when she keeps doing the same thing over and over again expecting positive results. When that has not been her experience from the past encounters. Signals that something is very wrong.

If this is the situation - Please for your own sake try and not be bitter about it. Just as being a cross dresser is something you can not change her secrete is also something she can not change.

All the best to hon. I am sorry you have to go through this.

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:34 am

Good for you, Becca! The teen years as a CD are indeed the toughest, and you have handled this situation beautifully. When I was in my teens (back in the late 80s) I was very fortunate to have had a sister away at college, and a mother who worked late in the evenings.

But not every teen is so lucky. Just hang in there, and pretty soon you'll be out on your own, and will have the freedom and the resources to express yourself anytime you feel!

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:24 am

Hi Becca,
Everyone seems to have hit on the same note. Just hang in there. That's good advice. It's quite often not an easy thing to do, but that's just the way life is sometimes.

I hate the word "freak"! If there was a way to rid the dictionary of it, I surely would. It's a label of the worst caliber. When I hear it, I close my eyes to hide the sadness I feel. It's such a shame that people can't deal with their insecurities in a more positive way.

I am so sorry to hear of your Mom's un-acceptance. I wish you the best in dealing with it. Just remember to be true to yourself.

Hugs,
Kyra

Stephanie H · Post by **Stephanie H** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:03 pm

We must always try to communicate with our mothers. Remember, a mothers love is unconditional and and most of the time uncompromising. This being the two most importand felling of motherhood (from my view point), a child need to come understand this. When there are opportunities for open conversation / dialog regardless of what it is, seize the opportunity. I feel that the great need to have conversation with mother very important and to have them on numerous topics. Eventually, the walls of parent/child will be reduced and new level of conversation can be had. Share your life experiences with her, open up to her about you feeling of a lot of subjects. ask her of her feelings. So you will have a new playing field for conversation and that you might be able to open up the conversation to crossdressing and your desires. You might be surprised how it goes if at first you develop a better social bond with your mother.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:20 pm

Stephanie H wrote:We must always try to communicate with our mothers. Remember, a mothers love is unconditional and and most of the time uncompromising.

Reality proves that "some" mothers do not fit that description.

Stephanie H · Post by **Stephanie H** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:51 pm

I accept Loretta Ann's comment of Reality.
But if you do have a mother that fits the definition that I have set forth, you have a unique opportunity to have a stimulating conversation