Crossdressers-Haven.com

On occasion I do have a thought or two that seems worth writing about and this is just such an occasion.

I have been for the most part, like everyone else; extremely busy. So busy that time has just slipped through my fingers and I am now 57 going on 58 years this year. I know, it really is not that big of a deal considering that just yesterday I was 18 going on 19.

But, it seems like I have lived about 50% of what I might be able to do. That "might" is an unknown as it always has been. I am just becoming more aware of my limitations. There are not any Roman soldiers or Greek soldiers running around these days, except for their modern day counterparts. They are as gone as I will be. Eventually, everything will be gone I suppose.

My point is that we seem to become caught in the moment. That is how we operate or function as humans. "Always living in the moment." No escaping that. So as we ponder the great divide, let us pause and listen to what we are saying. Right now I am wearing a lamp shade on my head. Thought that in order to be intellectual here, I needed some reinforcement. Something that would brighten my day and light the way through my mind.

Everything that we write about is in the moment. Eventually, second after second, it will be gone. Why worry? It seems that we are just spinning our wheels waiting for the light to turn green and frankly, in my lifetime it never will. Change is slow. Change is as normal a part of our lives as the desire to implement change. "I am that I am." I like that quote. "I am that I am." I make the light turn green by my own admission that it will not turn green on it's own.

Nothing more to it girls. Really. As long as I think this then that is how I will act and display my self to others. "I am that I am." There really needs no further explanation. Think about that simple statement. Perhaps you too will find just how profound it really is.

Hugs

Danielle Marie
"I am that I am."....................................

I've said this many, many times over and it will always apply, that we can't do a thing about yesterday, but what we do today will decide the quality of our life tomorrow.
It's a human trait to put off until tomorrow what we should do today, and I guess the emotions we experience because of who and what we are, causes the fear in some of us which prevents them from putting into practice what they know will enhance their life and create happiness.

Yes, we are what we are. Biological determinism is a theory which has been around for thousands of years, even if it has been rehashed and operated under different guises from time to time. It simply means who we are and what we are is determined by our biology, and just as we can't change the colour of our eyes we can't change our biological structure, so why fight it? Unfortunately our cultural forces operate against our natural instincts if we allow it.

It's at this point where things start to go a bit skew wiff because what is biologically determined in one person may not necessarily be determined in the next, or the next, but it's here where our culture runs into problems because it operates on the theory that there are only two genders, and as all of us can contend, that is a falsehood of some magnitude.

In terms of gender and theories of gender, free will versus determinism remains a huge issue because we're taught from the earliest time that everything is determined by our sex, it becomes an integral part of everything we do and everything around us and how we see ourselves. Every aspect of our behaviour and lifestyle becomes identified with male/female, me or not me. It may well occur where a small child is tolerated for crossing the sex boundary with dress or toys, but any extension of this beyond our childhood years is looked on with suspicion and stigmatised. it's then seen as a maladjusted person or a disorder. I know that as a small child there never seemed to be an issue with me wearing my sisters clothes, but as I approached teenage years it then became a completely different matter.

It gets back to who actually has the problem? I know in my case I really don't have any problems with myself because I've accepted that it was determined biologically who and what I am, and medical science cannot ever change it except cosmetically. If I don't happen to fit into the neat little cultural norms of categories and labels which society have for people, then so be it, that's their problem, not mine.

I believe that to achieve the happy life every individual has the right to, we have to first accept that we, and nobody else, can ever change how we are. Having accepted that fact, we then need to explore our needs and wants and the needs of those around us who matter to us, and then we have to get on with finding the right balance to incorporate in our life what is our natural way of living. Natural laws include our biology, gravity etc and we can never change those things. Social laws and facts are the beliefs which the majority of people believe to be true, and these are what can be changed, and indeed do change from generation to generation. Gender is only a social fact. A man made notion which only exists in the realms of social fact.

Yes, we are that we are, and if we don't enjoy being that, then it's more our own fault than anyone elses', because we didn't suddenly become ourself, it was pre-determined and we've had the whole of our life to date to get used to it.
How long anyone denies the truth is in their own hands, and yes, second by second time is getting away, and it would be dreadful to live a whole life in just wishing and hoping things will improve. They won't if we don't make them.
I believe very few people in any walk of life ever live their life to it's full potential, but it's that percentage of potential we attain which determines the full value, happiness and quality we live.
We don't need anyone to tell us who we really are, we already know that, we only have to admit it to ourselves first, accept it, then get on with life as best we can, having regard to our personal circumstances.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

Thank You Sally.

I guess I may have missed my mark here. The phrase, "I am that I am," was my intention to explain as you did, no matter what, that is all I can be, no more and no less. Not determinisim persay, but rather, living each day in the moment, the best that I will be in that moment is, "I am that I am." Without judgement, what I do in the moment is mine to own and be responsible for.

Hugs

Danielle Marie