Hopefully....my last purge

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 4:08 pm

Hi all,

I am not likely to stay around very long, but I am posting to report an update in my life as it pertains to cross dressing.

I am conducting what I believe will be my last purge. I am getting rid of all of my Female clothes.

I report that some of what Dr Anderson posted appears to have become true for me in my life. I have been able to feel the exact same feelings while dressed in male clothing. In fact better feelings than women's clothing provides. I have been able to feel totally relaxed like never before. I used to see some guys show that kind of relaxation, or perhaps it was a demonstration of feeling right about themselves In clothing that was made for them.

I always felt that the only way that I would be able to stop would be if something better would come along, which it has.

Having said all this I don't think that I could have achieved this without dressing as I have during the last few years, which amounted to as near as full time as I could handle.

What I am saying is that I believe I had to live through it to achieve what I now have.

I wish you all the best that life has to offer as you continue your journey's through this life. And I don't intend on being judgemental about any of this. I am just so grateful.

Peace.

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:41 pm

Loretta Anne,

You certainly sound content with your decision and self-realization, and I am happy for you. However, and this is not to discourage you, many of us reached points in our lives where we thought we'd moved past CDing, only to discover after some time that the urge returned, and was undeniable. In my case, it took a little over a year the last time. Whether or not that should happen to you, you are always welcome here. And if the urge does return, there is no shame in saying so-- you'd be in good company. And if it doesn't return, you're still part of our "sorority."

Best wishes,

Grace

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 7:05 pm

Good luck Loretta Ann!

I expect some of us will still be around should you need us.

Love, Carolynn

Stephanie Brooks · Post by **Stephanie Brooks** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:38 pm

Hi Loretta Ann!

Congratulations and may your path be clear. ^_^

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:57 pm

I like what you say about being able to be comfortable and be yourself independently of the clothing which is wonderful. Please let us know how it goes.

Absaroka

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:09 pm

Good luck, Loretta.

We'll be here if/when you need us.

Hugs,
Kyra

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:34 pm

Hi Loretta Ann-
I believe that you will be able to move on past dressing, and I have not thought that about anyone else who ever posted about this. You have lived an examined life, and I think you have learned things that put you in a place where you know what you need to do, and can do it. I have not agreed with all the lessons you've learned, and some do not apply to me at all. (and you would never say that they should.)

However, I do recognize a similiar style to mine in your quest to really know about what motivates you, and how it can be made to work for you, and not against you. Such an inquiry led me to CDing. It solved several long-standing problems for me, and I could never have intellectually come up with that solution. But I did lay the intellectual groundwork in the questions I asked myself about what I needed from life. The "solution" that came through was surprising, but it continues to work for me.

Anyway, I'm glad you feel gratitude for what is occurring--it must be a special thing.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:53 am

Thank you all for your kindness. It had gotten to where I had to try to convince myself that I was actually still getting what I wanted out of the activity of cross dressing. It was like I had to be hit over the head to realize that I was no longer experiencing what I once did. But I will let you know if I realize a need in the future to return.

I wish you all success and contentment as you continue with your lot in life.

A special thanks for giving me the mirror you did, Anita. You are very kind. And yes it feels very special, It is something I treasure.

CJ · Post by CJ » Fri Feb 10, 2006 12:40 pm

Hi all,

Loretta Ann,

I wish you well. May the light in your mind shine on the path before you as you follow your bliss.

CJ

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Fri Feb 10, 2006 4:48 pm

Loretta,

If it is even appropriate to still call you that. This is a very surprising developement indeed. I am not sure I understand it, which is ok, I don't really need to. I have read before that those who wish to overcome crossdressing, can, although I had never actually seen an example of it.

You would know better than anyone what your needs are. You are one of the few people I have encountered in my life who set out to really understand themselves in an open, honest and intellectual way. I know for those of us who watched your posts here over the last 1½-2 years we seen this desire of yours to get to the "real" bottom of your desire to crossdress. To find what need was being met, so you could see if there was another way to meet it.

Apparently you have reached this zenith. I wish you the best and would just like to tell you that you have been a major contributor to this forum and the lives of many here, my own included. Your deep compassion and caring for others is apparent is how you have conducted yourself and I would like to thank you personally for all that you have shared with this forum, and myself.

I know there are many of us, who at different times in our lives, thought we would no longer have the need to dress, only to have it resurface months or even years later. I am not saying that will happen to you, indeed if someone were to overcome dressing, I beleive it would be with a careful examination of oneself that you have demonstrated. If however it does ever happen, we will also understand that.

I wish you the continued peace of mind that you have found and hope that you are able to move on to accomplish all the things you desire. You are a loved person.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Fri Feb 10, 2006 10:21 pm

Thanks again all of you.

Hi Elizabeth,

Thank you for responding here. I have felt a closeness towards you for a long time, you hold a special place in my heart, I think of you often.

I don't expect you to understand it. I had given up hope of anything like this ever becoming my reality. I will say that I think it was important that I was able to reach a place where I was content with myself, in-spite of the worlds view of cross dressers.

I am grateful for your kind words Elizabeth...and I also wish (for you) the desires of your heart.

I am glad I was able to contribute what I could to this forum, and it is my hope that some of it will continue to help others. It was part of my journey and I feel I would be unable to repeat all of it, as I have moved on. So I will leave it here for what it is worth.

Again the best to all of you, to those who have been here, are hear, and to those who are yet to come this way.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Fri Feb 10, 2006 10:48 pm

All the very best Loretta , I hope it all works out for you

Please drop in from time to time and let us know how your doing

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 9:33 am

Hi Loretta. I hope it works out for you, however, I'll pass on the same advice as given others, store your fem expensive things instead of purging everything. Some things are expensive to replace.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 2:26 pm

DonnaT wrote:Hi Loretta. I hope it works out for you, however, I'll pass on the same advice as given others, store your fem expensive things instead of purging everything. Some things are expensive to replace.

especially wigs because they are a pain in the a*** to find a suitable replacement , as well as being expensive.

My advice would be to choose and retain a few favorite outfits , wig , other accessories , box them away out of sight & out of mind.
This way you have a basic stock should you re-start , try to hold on to it for a few years at least.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 2:51 pm

Thanks Donna and Merinda for your thoughtful advise,

I am the kind of person that needs to live according to what is inside of me. That is the outer needs to align with the inner.

And what is inside of me at this time does not leave any room for those kinds of luxuries.

Should what is inside of me change some time down the road I will have to deal with it at that time, without any regrets.

I do... however... appreciate... your concern...