Thank you all for your replies.
Curly(SO) wrote:I'm in the U.K too. My husband, Ed joined the forum but never posts. I think he has an occasional read of posts and I occasionally nag him to post here!
Love,
Curly
Hi Curly
Is there a reason Ed does not join you here. I came here, as I know my partner (Fran W) sometimes struggles with my crossdressing, ie we have had many lows, but only a few real highs regarding this matter! Therefore this place gave us some common ground where she hopefully, can see the real me (the one I feel I have to hide from her, for fear of hurting her or not living up to her expectations)
I'm glad she also has the SO/GG area so she can ask things with out fear of me reading them, I nearly didn't join this site myself so she had full freedom to talk and post here alone, but I did ask her if she wanted me to join, and she did, (just not post my pictures yet!) and also that separate area gave her a bolthole if she felt she needed it. However if she asked me to leave I would do so.
Hence I wondered if Ed felt the same!!!
on a positive point! She has already admitted to me, that she finds it difficult to read my posts, and accept they are written by me, and not some one else, therefore my only answer to that is here, I can be the real person I feel I am, I don't feel I'm always walking on egg shell, or being guarded about what I say or do. I still read and amend my posts, for fear of saying/writing the wrong thing down, but here generally I feel I can open up a little, let my hair down, and hope she can see there is a side to me that she really has no concept or knowledge of, all she has had is a fear of it. therefore I hope comment like this one continue, and she does in the end find the real me through here, I am here, I really am, just I need her to look for me, and not fear me,
Sadly, her fears were created by another, who stole the real me from her, I know she still stuggles with this inner demon that I will chance and be more demanding, and want to dress more often, until it runs out of control, and takes over me. this is not the case, If I'm totally honest, yes I would like the chance to experiment/dress a little more often, but the last few weeks have been difficult times due to other matter, so yet again Tracy/ my crossdressing has taken a back seat, and thats Fine, it really is. Because the other matter have been more important and my family will always come first. however I hope one day she will realise I have a need to do this, but I control it, not it controls me, my views on my dressing have not changed in 35+ years so I don't think they will now.
Also if my dressing was libel to take over my life at any point, surely it would have done so when I was living alone before I met her, and had all the time in the world to do as I wanted, and dress up, and be me whenever and for as long as I really wanted. if it didn't do so then, why would it do so now, when I have all a man could ever want to be happy, it just I have a unusual hobby, which I enjoy (as do others) however that is all it is, it will never change me inside nor will I forget who I really am, although the whole point of crossdressing is to look totally different, you never stop being the person you really are underneath.
Sorry I've rambled of the point a little here, but it helps!
Tracy
Nottinghamshire and yes my partner is also from Nottinghamshire.