SEX DOCTOR: I DISCOVERED MY UNDIES IN HIS DRAWER

[DonnaT]

http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/news/tm_o ... _page.html

Dr Catherine Hood
Sunday Mirror, UK
28 May 2006

Dear Dr Cath

I'VE been with my partner for 16 years but we don't live together. I
always wondered what he had locked away in a drawer in his bedroom.

I thought it was porn but imagine my shock when I found women's
underwear, tights and clothes â?" some of it mine. I started to wonder
who else he was stealing clothes from.

He wants us to get married next year and buy a place together. How
long would it be before I would come home to find him dressed up? And
what else does he get up to?


A: IT must have been shocking discover your partner has a penchant for
women's clothing.

Not only do you have to deal with his cross-dressing tendencies but
the realisation that this man, who wants to share his life with you,
is capable of keeping such a secret. It is a huge blow to your trust.

Once you've recovered from the initial shock it may help you to know
that cross-dressing is much more common than you may assume.

It's estimated that one in 10 men will wear women's clothing at some
time - anything from silky underwear to the full ladies outfit.

It's quite unfair really because women can wear men's clothing and
nobody raises an eyebrow but it's less accepted when a man wants to
step out in a skirt.

There are lots of myths and assumptions made about cross-dressers, but
most are heterosexual. They may have children and lead very normal
lives. Some wear women's clothing for sexual kicks but others say it
helps relieve tension and stress.

Many cross-dressers are nervous of telling others for fear of being
shunned or ridiculed. Your boyfriend may have kept his secret for fear
you will leave him.

He could have taken your clothes as a way to feel close to you and the
other lingerie he ay have bought himself.

Now you've stumbled across his secret you need to talk about it. Tell
him about your discovery, listen to his point of view and try not to
judge him too quickly.

Many marriages work perfectly well with the man indulging in
occasional cross-dressing. You can make your relationship work but my
advice is to take it one step at a time.

[DonnaT]

Well, she gave mostly good advice, but missed an important issue.

She was snooping in his drawers. An invasion of privacy and worse.

I wonder what he'll say when she tells him how she found out.

[TracyQ]

As long as fear of consequences (real or imaginined) keep CD's in the closet, it will remain this way. People don't stop you from doing what you want, you stop yourself from doing what you want.

I don't see it ever changing.

[Carol Ann]

TracyQ,
I like your opinion very much and I agree with what you say. Hell it's my life lump it or forget it. Carol Ann

[Paulie]

I have to agree with Tracy.....
Sad as that sounds, it does ring true. Maybe time will change this, but I really don't see it coming soon.

In the meantime, we have to be true to ourselves and be happy and fulfilled in our lives. I'm learning that more and more. And, guess what... I feel happier and more content with myself. I don't want to intentionally make others feel uncomfortable, but, I do have to be true to myself!