Does your personna change with your clothes?

[Lydia]

Hi all,

I have wondered, in my questioning and curious states, how much, if at all, does your personality change with your attire? My SO observes that my general personality and behavior is essentially the same no matter how I am dressed. I do feel different, when I am en femme, but evidently my basic actions, speech patterns, etc., remain the same.

Based on reading many of the posts here, I gather that some of us, probably a minority, exhibit a distinct behavioral change with a change of clothing. What do you think?

Curious,

Lydia

[Anita]

Hi Lydia--
My behavior does change. It doesn't change as much around people who know me in both genders, because I suspect that it would upset them. When I'm with people who only know me as Anita, I have more freedom to move and act differently.

[Kathy]

Hi Lydia,

In my case no. I am who I am regardless of what I'm wearing. I make no effort to be other than who I am and there is no "emotional" transformation.

But, then, I am and always will be the dreaded "guy in a dress".

Kathy

[Virginia]

In the film
"What the (bleep) Do We Know" (yes it is about trying to explain and understand quatum physics and quantum mechanics) there is a line. "Have you ever seen yourself throught the eyes of someone else you have become?" The film gets very deep in trying to determine who the "ultimate observer" is within each of us. Like how do we formulate on a daily basis what we do, what we see, how we feel moment to moment. Now I absolutely refuse to get into a religious discussion about this as I know that there are those who believe that some "entity" actually takes a heart-felt interest in any and everything we, do, want, desire, say, wear, where we go, whom we see, what we say, what we eat, etc. My point deals with that almost once in a lifetime event (for us as crossdressers) who are FORCED by circumstances sometimes beyond our control to HAVE TO TAKE THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE. You dress and look the best you can then step in front of that full length mirror. You then ask yourself the BIG question. If you can not or are unable to look past the physical aspects of what you see -========== HONEY, YOU AIN'T READY, I CAN ASSURE YOU!
You look at the girl looking back at you and ask THE QUESTION?
What are you willing to give up for the girl looking back at you?"
"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN YOURSELF THROUGH THE EYES OF SOMEONE ELSE YOU HAVE BECOME?"
I can only speak from my experience - It is probably the most moving awesome experience you can have!!! If you feel nothing or don't see, well I can't help you. There are several of my sisters here on the forum who have done this and they are still here and like me thoroughly enjoying their "Magical Mystery Tour!"
Love,
Virginia

[Absaroka]

I think this is a wonderful question.

Since I only interact with others on the phone while dressed I don't think the persona changes.

However...........

it does seem to me that how I think and present myself as a man has changed a bit over the last couple of years, partly because of participation in these forums.

Case in point, more about actions than persona but still interesting. Today I stopped at a tag sale. After buying some books for the kids I noticed a couple of dresses that were very much my wifes taste and looked like they would fit. I discussed sizing with the lady running the sale for a minute and even tried on one of the sweaters. Then for just a few bucks I bought several items. All but one got presented to my wife who agreed that they were definitely her taste and was quite happy about them since they did in fact fit.

This would not have happened two years ago. Yet today the whole thing was somewhat unremarkable. A small change.

More ineresting to me in a way is that in the last year I think my femme clothes have changed to fit my persona. I find myself asking would I wear this if I was a woman? And so gone are the corsets and the corporate femme fetale ever so slightly dominant power dresses. Much of the time I go with the little AA enhancers instead of the C cup inserts. If it's not comfortable out it goes. And more and more my femme clothes match my male clothes-sleeveless womens tee shirts and a plain long skirt as opposed to sleeveless mens tees (the arm holes are different among other things) and cut off jeans. Or in the winter there is a mix and match of long skirt with guy flannel shirt.

Rebellious even for a crossdresser, huh?

Absaroka

[Jacqui]

Very good question Lydia

I don't think that the clothes I wear today (mens) or tomorrow (womans) make my personality different, it would be bordering on schizophrenic if they did. But dressing as a practice does change me. Just like exposure to a whole lot of situations slowly shapes who I am as a person. What's the old saying "bad company corrupts good morals". I have to evaluate whether the various situations I get into or the people I mix with change me postively or constructively and I believe dressing does - just like being on this forum.

This is not my deeply considered opinion - just some thouights that fly of the top of my head - sometimes gets me into trouble. But I like the question and I'm going to think some more about it.

Jacqui

[Kendra Lynn]

Good Morning! I think basically I just try to cut down on the cursing and be a little more subdued overall. No substantial changes. I don't even try to affect a "femme" voice; anyone getting a good close up view will know what's going on. My definition of a "safe space" is a location in which the other people know what a CD is and are either supportive or don't care.
I have wondered if CD'ing has affected my "drab" incarnation and have been told by friends who have seen both that I seem more relaxed, a bit less edgy even in "male" mode. CD'ing certainly is a release and I may be more relaxed overall. I do know that because of the awful summer heat in the Washington, D.C. area I haven't dressed much lately and tension had been building up. (released this month by a two week trip trip to England).
But now that I'm back home, and the warm weather is still here, I may just gave to face it-- I do have some outfits that should make CDing in warm weather at least bearable.
That's it for now.
Peace'n'Luv to all-- Kendra Lynn.

[Laycee]

I would have to say that I don't see any noticable changes. I am quite happy with who I am and who I become.

[Ms Jane]

No change except that I feel more calm. Ms Jane.

[Lydia]

Hi all,

The variation in responses is what I expected. Each represents a different and unique situation. Fascinating.

For myself, I now realize that since my coming out to my SO, and dressing more frequently, I have become more relaxed and less easily stressed. I’ve become more tolerant of other drivers stupidity or boorishness. This even in male mode. I find myself more attentive to my housekeeping chores. Of course, I am much more comfortable to be en femme when I am on this forum. I think the note from Absaroka is close to my personality change, such as it is. Certainly I have become more attentive to how the GGs dress.

We just returned from a 3day trip to Las Vegas. Being a dirty old man in spite of being a CD, we had to go to a “skin” show. The girls were lovely, of course, but I found myself envying their costumes, such as they were. When you’ve seen two, you’ve seen them all.

The experience of seeing oneself, as noted by Virginia, comes to me through my SO. She says that she loves me no matter how I am dressed, and sees through any disguise I can put on (I have not tried a full face mask). She has found my behavior in general has softened, but sees no significant difference when I am en femme or en drab.

Thanks for your responses, sisters. Keep ‘em coming.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Paulie]

I think my "persona" really never changes. As others have said, I'm just who I am.

Now, as for how I "feel", that does change. I feel more comfortable and maybe even somewhat sexy, depends on what I'm wearing. And, I think that might go along with confidence too. When a woman dresses nice, she usually feels more confident... guess it works for me too!

[DonnaT]

Not to any great degree, no. Maybe some movements or the way I sit. My speech and etc. don't change, I don't think.

Feel free to correct me Virginia

[Virginia]

Hi Donna,
I was not going to respond again in this thread, but ................... well, Donna is Donna and I do think I can detect some variations but subtle - you are who you are and you must feel it INSIDE - anyone can be "a guy in a dress." and if that is someone's "thing" bless 'em. I have no quarrel with that. That is all a lot of my sisters here appear to be, or want to be or aspire to be and that is fine - there is nothing at all wrong with that - they are just at given point on the contiuum that we as "crossdresssers" exist on. There are only about three of my sisters here who have come close to explaining where I am and they still may not have hit it. They may be where I am, but like me, just can not find the words to define it or even feel the need to! Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being anywhere on the continuum if you feel comfortable there, it is just where you are, deal with it and live!!!!!
I will not even begin to explain how I feel, where I think I am on the continuum as most of you would think I am nuts anyway, so I will live with the beauty that Virginia affords me, knowing that I had my epitany (at Fielden's ---- Donna) I tried to explain it on a former thread, I have tried to tell my sisters here about the ULTIMATE QUESTION that most will never have to ask.
As for me I will say this as many times as I am asked, "I am Virginia, and Virginia is me and we will hold hands and continue on our Magical Mystery Tour because we love it!"
Keep the faith girls, it is worth the trip!
Love,
Virginia

[Lydia]

Hi Virginia,

Your notion of the "continuum" is a good one, and I agree thoroughly. My original question was falsely Aristotelian - the yes or no, true or false, one or zero, approach. There are the intermediate, grey areas.

As I think more about it, I wonder where I am on that continuum. I find it uncomfortable to be on this forum when in drab - feel much better en femme. I tend to respond more emotionally when dressed. No question, I am different - but different on that continuum. It keeps changing. The more I dress, the further I go on that "Mystical Magic Journey" (I love that metaphor).

I love this forum !!

Hugs,

Lydia

[Rose Darn]

Hi Lydia,
It's now 7 to 3. I find that I am no different at all. If I put on a jacket all I feel is warmer, a skirt I feel comfortable. But, does my personality change, I have to say no.
With warm wishes,
Rose