Frustrated...

Kira Dias · Post by **Kira Dias** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:13 am

Hi ladies,

It has been a minute since I last posted; but, I have not dressed in nearly 2 months. Why do we put ourselves through this test of withholding our desires, true enough, there are strings of weeks that I do not feel like been Kira; however, it does not take but a flash of a beautiful women that appeals to me or a pretty bra in an ad to break me.

Now Kira is raging like a tiger, and I am anticipating my wife being at work tomorrow night, Kira has to come out for an appearance. Why am I feeling like this after all these years, at least I stopped purging, I guess I have learned something. Okay ladies, let me have it.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:09 am

Kira wrote: Okay ladies, let me have it.

No not at all Kira,

your just following the stereotypical pattern that all we girls follow at one time or another.

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:44 am

Why agonise over it ?. Just enjoy being Kira when the mood takes you...

Laycee · Post by **Laycee** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:08 am

Like Kari said.....enjoy the moments when they arise. That's what I like about me and my situation. I don't get the chance to dress often and even when I do, sometimes I don't. When I get the chance to dress and when I feel like dressing, it makes it all the more special to me which enhances that particular experience.

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:29 am

Hi Kira,

Go for it girl! Whatever you do, don't feel guilty about it. Seek solace here. We've all been in the same boat.

I assume your wife does not know? Many of us who post here, feel that in the long run, revealing all is the best way. But, then again, every case is different and unique, so do what you find best.

All the best wishes to you, and keep us posted.

Hugs,

Lydia

Post by **DonnaT** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:17 am

Kira wrote:. . .Why do we put ourselves through this test of withholding our desires, . . .

We? You got a mouse in your pocket?

I don't try and fight my desires. Why you do is probably because your wife is unaware, or because you haven't totally accepted this characteristic of your's. Really though, only you know the answer why.

And a lot of CDs find that when they fight themselves, at some point they are going to lose that fight, and the urge that wins the fight will be even stronger.

So, quit fighting it, and find more time to indulge.

Kira Dias · Post by **Kira Dias** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:16 am

Hi ladies,

I accept my life as a crossdresser, I will be one for the rest of my life. However, the sadness of not getting the courage to go to a movie or looking outside my window at the yard I want to walk in hurts deeply, I try to run from the pain of being caged.

No, my wife does not know I actively dress (or own clothes); but, does know I am a crossdresser. Kira is ALL about me, my time to acknowledge that part of me is very feminine, despite, my large male exterior. I love Kira, she is like a pack of cigarettes for the stressed smoker, just gotta have it/them.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:31 am

Enjoy Kira while she's there. Let it be that simple.

Absaroka

Paulie · Post by **Paulie** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:33 pm

I think most all of us have that balance in life that you have to walk.

My wife knows, but only tolerates.... and I usually don't know where that line is, so there is my balance act.

Anyway, you do have to enjoy the time you get, and as others here have said.... little steps.

I'd be dressed 24/7 if I could, but I know I can't... so, I just enjoy and cherish the time I can.

Post by **DonnaT** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:04 pm

Hopefully you'll find that courage to go out someday Kira. Not a lot of CDs do, however.

Maybe a trans support group in IA if you can find one.

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:10 pm

It does take a lot of courage to go outside dressed, i took so much convincing
from my SO to do it. My knees where like jelly when i finally did but it was such
a rush to do it.

I'm quite fortunate though, i seem to get away with it..

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:59 pm

Kira

Nothing unusual about what you're feeling. These urges come and go all the time, often triggered by something innocuous. Not sure your urges are because you have to keep your CDing a secret from your wife. My SO knows and accepts but I still experience those strong desires that can come to the fore on the turn of a dime some days. I just accept it as part of the nature of our prediliction.

No, my wife does not know I actively dress (or own clothes); but, does know I am a crossdresser.

The fact that she knows you're a CD is an important factor here you need to build on. Heck, you're already over the biggest hurdle having already told her. She needs to know and understand what being a CD is all about and the emotions you have to deal with when you are one. I think if you can find a way to broach the subject, there might be a chance to make some progress in breaking from the hurt. Don't forget too that she might have some hurt of her own over this which you will also have to deal with.

Good luck.

Stephanie

Kira Dias · Post by **Kira Dias** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:16 pm

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Thanks for letting me yell ladies.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 7:32 am

Kira, it wasn't me who was scared it was my wife and it took more talking and the help of a Tri-Ess group before we done it together. Just to walk the streets and go to dinner enfem I was on cloud 9 for a week. Once my wife figured out that people took us for two women and nothing else she was better with it. But she was the one with rubber legs and not wanting to look people in the eye.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

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