Crossdressers-Haven.com

I'm reading a book called The Language of Clothing by Alison Lurie. There's next to nothing about crossdressing in it but it's got an awful lot of interesting things in it anyway. Entire chapters about what your choice of color may be saying, cultural interpretations and history, social dynamics and so on.

Anyway her central point is that our clothes talk. They always do, they always send messages about us. Even if we dress as neutrally as possible we are then sending a message that basically we are trying to be quiet and (perhaps) listen. She does it in a way that is very matter of fact, as opposed to all the dress for success/what will people think books.

Anyway it got me to thinking. Given that our clothing makes a statement, I wonder how much of the difficulty with men wearing overtly womens clothing has to do with the perception that this is sexual (which it often is) and that people just don't like us talking about something in public with our clothing that they feel should be kept private. Like if I go out in public in a miniskirt it's the clothing equivalent of talking way to loud about something people feel should not be discussed publicly anyway?

I also sometimes crossdressing and it's response reminds me of the initial reaction in the mid 60's to long hair and beards on men. After all remember that beards are not exactly unmasculine. But they sometimes upset people greatly, and it was because they were percieved as a way of giving the establishment the finger.

Absaroka

I think a guy in a skirt has less of a sexual connotation than a guy trying to present as a woman (wig, makeup, etc.), and is seen as being weird, instead.

The whole dressing up thing is seen more as a sexual thing, I think, and people are hung up on that thought.

And it does seem similar to the 60's where some people would get upset when the person with the long hair a flaired jeans they were ogling turned out to be a guy.

DonnaT wrote:I think a guy in a skirt has less of a sexual connotation than a guy trying to present as a woman (wig, makeup, etc.), and is seen as being weird, instead.

The whole dressing up thing is seen more as a sexual thing, I think, and people are hung up on that thought.

And it does seem similar to the 60's where some people would get upset when the person with the long hair a flaired jeans they were ogling turned out to be a guy.

DonnaT, Interesting comments. I read through them quickly and something in my brain suddenly stopped me to rewind.

I have never thought of it in exactly this way. Only that IMO most people would better be able to relate and/deal with a guy in a dress/skirt over one that was in full femme attire.

I think there are different view points here that society is seeing.

The type of clothes we wear like Absaroka is pointing out. Feminine sexy clothes, short skirt, tight top, heels on a gal make her good looking, hot to a slut depending on who you talk to. To much of society, femme clothes like that on a guy would make him a nut, not playing with a full deck, sex felon, pervert or (add your own here) that they see on the news or hear about. The news, tv or print is a great educator. Both for the good and bad. From those I have talked with, in general for those out in public, the more conservative the attire the better the response over all from the general public.

A second point I think the others are seeing is for the guy in a skirt and/or other femme clothes, but still presenting a guy; I think this type of CDer is lumped in with the rebels of society: hippy, biker, punk, goth, rocker, pierced, .... on and on. I know I think "What Ever", "To each their own", Wierd, Strange,... and move on. I hear and see these types of reactions all the time when in public. While the full femme trying to pass but not CDer has to also deal with the "what do they have to hide" and "Deception" thoughts others have. I know I do not pass, but do blend fairly well. I have had really no problems when out. What I find interesting is the other person's nervous or comfort factor changes when I ask for help or when I pay and hand them my male CC and ID. They become more relaxed.

KimberlyS-CD
joe in a skirt

A couple of further thoughts in response to the posts.

As Kimberly said the man in a dress is percieved as a nut. After all he has ignored what's considered a pretty basic rule in society. Who knows what other rules he will ignore? Perhaps he is best either avoided or controlled.....

The other is that although women wear mens clothing they have made it into womens clothing. Womens jeans for example. They are not trying to present as men. Women who do attempt to present as men do have somewhat the same worries as men presenting as women. Ever read a MTF treatise on how to use the mens room? So the corrolary to women in jeans is not men in a skirt but men in a kilt. Or a long mans nightgown like is sold in many stores. And suddenly it's acceptable.

Absaroka

Still cannot beat the comfort of waring a stretch knit dress, many a woman has missed this.

Fortunately for have a fashion guide. She tells me when I'm dressed inappropriately. I'm with ya on the stretch knit, yummy.

Hailey wrote:Fortunately for have a fashion guide. She tells me when I'm dressed inappropriately.

Yes it is nice to have a fashion guide. My wife will help me coordinating outfits also.