Which Restroom to use?

Susan G. · Post by **Susan G.** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:32 pm

When one is out in Public, like a large Mall, which Restroom would you use?

Post by **DonnaT** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:01 am

First- a family or unisex restroom Second, the ladies. Go in, do your thing, wash and get out.

Third, the mens.

Kimberly · Post by **Kimberly** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:01 am

Your safest option is to use a single person facility like a family restroom or a handicapped restroom

Post by **KimberlyS** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:17 am

Susan, I have included some links to other posts below. For myself. If I am trying to blend feminine, I use the womans bathroom for safety. Go in, go, wash hands, get out. If I see a lot of younger kids or families I have come back or found one somewhere else a few times. But I have also walked into the middle of a womens restroom filled with parents and kids. The biggest thing, IMHO, is you are trying to blend. What ever you do you do not want to draw attention to you. Turning and leaving can draw more attention then just going in and do what you need to do and get out. Do not forget to wash hands as that will draw attention. Also remember to smile. Looking at someone with a smile can be a response to someone saying hi to you.

A lot will depend on your comfort level with how you are blending femme. If I am in a mixed mode I use the mens and try to make sure it is a fairly active one with people coming and going. There can be safety in numbers.

Unisex and family restrooms can also be a good option. But at times I find the family restrooms busy with families.

Restroom use was an issue with my wife. Our last outing in Minneapolis was our first time we had to deal with it, as in the past we have been lucky and found unisex restrooms. At first my wife was right there as my shadow and telling me what do to. By the end of the three days she was comfortable with me going alone at times.

Also, laws vary from state to state, county to county, city to city. In many places depending on the laws, the person complaining and the officer/security person, you could get put on the national sex offender list for using the womens restroom. So worrying about passing IMHO is nothing compared to getting put on that list. As, IMHO, the national sex offender list is becoming a joke. People like rapist and kiddy porn people are treated the same as someone drunk that took a wiz in public or a gal that flashed her breasts, or a bunch of kids mooning someone.

Enjoy but be careful out there.

http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... php?t=4082

http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... php?t=5376

http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... php?t=3832

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

Susan G. · Post by **Susan G.** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 9:06 am

Thank You for all of your responses! There is a lot of information here, I am grateful to have this to study....

Kendra Lynn · Post by **Kendra Lynn** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 9:45 am

Hello all: Very touchy subject, this.
The BEST situation is to be in a place where the restroom only accommodates one person at a time...
There are also situations where a significant number of people are in costumes (such as science fiction/fantasy/comic book conventions) and you are likely to have less trouble whichever restroom you use.
But I have discovered that it only takes ONE person to "read" you as a CD, get nervous, and complain to a security guard or police officer and then the trouble starts.
I have not yet found myself in any legal messes and would prefer to keep it that way.
I'm sure laws very from location to location, but the bottom line probably is, IF THERE IS ANY DOUBT, you must use the restroom which is meant for your genetic gender.
One reason I do not go to movie theaters cross dressed any more is the "restroom" issue. I tried it twice and was so nervous that I realized it was a bad idea.
No more thoughts on this right now.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn ("hippie cheerleader")

Melyssa Anne · Post by **Melyssa Anne** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 11:20 am

While the safest is to use a unisex bathroom, the decision to use wome's vs mens hinges more on how you present and how well you pass. You can cause as much problems going into a mens room while dressed if you appear to be female as the reverese. So assess yourself honestly and that will help decide what you do.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:39 pm

The answer to this question keeps changing, for me. The advice about how to use the women's restroom is good, if you're going to go into one.
I have gone into the women's side, and never had a problem with it.

Lately I'm more inclined to go into the men's restroom. It's just less of a hassle. Men aren't likely to call security, for one thing. If there's any problem, it would be that the guy himself gets upset and challenges me.
But if they do cause a scene, well, I'm in the "correct" restroom.
I'm with Kendra; if there's any doubt, it's ultimately better to be in the restroom that's marked for your birth gender. Is it safer? Well, not exactly, but you will have the law on your side. It's not illegal to be crossdressed.

I'm not sure exactly what I'll do next time I'm a a movie theatre, for instance. Both restrooms are often packed at multi-plexes; you have to assume there's always going to be a crowd. In that case, I might choose the women's side. It really is a hassle to walk into a crowded men's room.
I would hope that the women would not feel threatened, if there's many of them in there. The only time I ever had to do that was at a sports stadium. I got no startled looks, but it was still unnerving.

The multiplex seems like the worst situation right now. Restaurants and department stores are usually not that crowded.

I wish there were a better answer to this.

Amelie-Laveau · Post by **Amelie-Laveau** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:53 pm

First off---Is peeing really a "Fun stuff to do while CDing",, lol

OK,, ,, I don't go to malls, they're to far away for me. But at night if I have to pee, I just go in the street alongside a dumpster or some other large thing similar.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:59 pm

I'm with Amelie Laveau on this. Sometimes I do the same thing in male mode just because I have a bit of a bashful kidney.

Absaroka

Amelie-Laveau · Post by **Amelie-Laveau** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:19 pm

Also, Abrsaroka,, some of the places I go to,,, the bathrooms can be more dangerous than the street.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:52 am

Amelie I've only had that experience a couple of times since high school which was when I developed the habit of going outside, along with the bashful kidney in the first place from wondering who was going to come in the door while I peed and what they might want.

Absaroka

Post by **DonnaT** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:43 pm

D.C. Chapter 8, of Title 4 of the District of Columbia Municipal Regulations says businesses "with single-occupancy restroom facilities shall use gender-neutral signage for those facilities..."

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blog ... bathrooms/

Monica Frasier · Post by **Monica Frasier** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:47 pm

In my region of the state -or at least in the city proper- the PD approved scenario is to use the restroom that corresponds to how you are presenting -and it's my understanding that this is based on the assumption that you have your act together. Both in terms of passability and conduct.

I've been out of the scene for a good 10 years now, but I'll never forget the first and only time I found myself needing to use the facilities. It was at an awards banquet hosted by our support/social organisation. I went in, sat down (remember: no standing!!), and proceeded to do my biz.

Right in the middle of the action, I saw this l a r g e hand come up over the top of the stall and the arm it was attached to then commenced to actually yank the stall door out of the "deadbolt"!! I found myself staring up at a largish GG who simply said 'Oh, sorry hon! I wasn't even thinking!'. She then let the door close on it's own and went on her way.

Me..? Well, I guess you could say I had to do my biz all over again!!

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:35 pm

If I am out and fully dressed as a woman, then i will use the ladies Restroom. If am out and fully dressed as a man then I use the gentleman's restroom.