Crossdressers-Haven.com

When reading a post on another site I got to thinking, do I have a sign on my forehead or back that says I am a cross dresser for something else?

It has happened to me more and more that I am asked questions about something or something happens when shopping for femme clothes. And not just while enfemme but more so I am talking about when I am in male mode and shopping for femme things.

Am I the only one this happens to in male mode. Obvious male mode.

- Looking through the racks of clothes an a gal turns to me and asks my opinion of the outfit she is looking at. I give my opinion but think "I am a guy and guys are not suppose to know that stuff, let alone why am I even here shopping.

- I stop at a store to check out a new model of shape wear and end up having an hour conversation with the sales associate, upper 50's, about shape wear and girdles, brands, roll down, fit, and comfort. Including trying some on and getting a couple of them. She said to come back again.

- I am in isle looking at sports bras when a gal with two kids in the cart and one it tow come in and looks at bras on the other side. After just a bit she turns and asks me questions about a sale bra she is looking at. I tell her no I do not work there but answer her question what I know about it. This is shortly followed by more questions that leads into a conversation about bra sizes and getting fitted for a bra. While it was obvious she was wearing the wrong size of bra from the bulging of her breasts out of the top of her bra and the tightness of her band as seen through her tight low cut top, why was I the person to ask those questions and have that conversation with her. I was in definite male mode and was not wearing a bra or popping out with my 40AA's. I guess she liked the answer to the first question she asked. She got the bra in a band size larger than she normally wears and one larger cup but did not want to try it on even if I watched the kids. Which I could understand, can not leave your kids with a stranger, but ok to talk bras with them. She said she would be going for a fitting soon.

- Late in the evening going through the mall running errands before heading home, I swing in briefly to see a new bra at VS I got an email about. I am greeted shortly after entering and shown to the bras. I say I am just looking, yet I am given the full sales pitch about the bra, material, fit, comparison to other bras and more. Much more than your average male could even comprehend beyond it is a bra. Why did she feel the need to give me this information. Was she practicing on me since I was a male and would not know what she is talking about? After a short pause, she follows with would I like to try one on today. Quick mental check, guy clothes, and two day beard. Yea I can try one one. About forty minutes later leaving with new bra I had just tried on.

- Shopping at a store with several things in hand looking around, SA comes up to me and asks if she can help me and gives me the run down on today sales. After some chit chat she asks if she can start a fitting room for me. I think, IS THIS SA BLIND, I am a guy and this is a gals only clothes store. Yes I would like to try them on to see if they fit.

Does this happen to you when shopping for femme things yet in obvious male mode? What are some of you stories of this happening.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

In the instances you referance, it could simply be that you were just in the right place at the right time and perhaps you looked as though you had knowledge of the topic.

Personally, I am not one to really worry or care about others opinions, simply because it's MY life and not thiers I am living

Kandis is right, you probably seemed to be the right person to ask. You could take that as a compliment

Fran

I suspect there's also something about looking comfortable and genuinely interested in the feminine articles you're shopping for. I know that I've been asked questions while shopping for shoes in guy mode that there's no way the sales associates would ask another guy.

... but there I am, caressing shoes and examining them with a critical and loving eye. I'm not surprised it makes me easy to pick out. The only other guys in the area are trying to stay as far from the shoes as possible, and if they do pick one up they hold it like a dead fish. Admittedly, I'm only speculating there. I have no idea how to hold a dead fish. Perhaps other guys caress fish and examine them with a critical and loving eye, but they pick up shoes the way I'd hold a dead fish.

Why ask why?

I don't know the answer Kimberly. Maybe the SA's have had other trans folk in and are aware? Maybe the folks are just more open where you are?

What ever it is, I reckon you're doing it right.

I agree with most of what has been said. It could be you were in the right place at the right time sometimes, or just your interest in the item seemed to be "more sincere" than others. Of course you may just look like an "easy mark!" No, just kidding, but more and more stores are training their SA's in how to deal with all types of customers.

I hope this "attention" does not bother you!!! I, for one, think it is a good thing!!!

Shop on girlfriend!

Virginia

Hi Kim,

I'd say that as far as another customer asking you questions, maybe they are just used to getting another opinion when shopping so asked the closest person (you).

As to the SAs, are these stores you have shopped and puchased in before? Maybe they just recognize you and automatically go into salesperson mode?

Just a few thoughts.
Connie

Thank you for your responses.

Kandis wrote: Personally, I am not one to really worry or care about others opinions, simply because it's MY life and not thiers I am living)

I wonder it this is some of the reason I am asked this. I do not really care and just am going about my business and thus give off a comfort level to others about myself.

Frances Jewell wrote:..You could take that as a compliment.

Fran I guess I do or just take it as being be and just talking with others as the situation presents.

Kimberly Kael wrote:I suspect there's also something about looking comfortable and genuinely interested in the feminine articles you're shopping for.

Kimberly K, yup that is me. Serious shopper. Or is that love to shop.

DonnaT wrote:Why ask why? ......

What ever it is, I reckon you're doing it right.

I guess I do not personally wonder or care about the why that much as I just generally go about my business. For me, after the fact having things like that happen , I think to my self "did that really happen", "yea", and continue about my business.

Thank you.

Virginia wrote:..I hope this "attention" does not bother you!!! I, for one, think it is a good thing!!!

Oh the attention from other people, customers, or SA's does not bother me at all. My femme time, other than for me and getting out I feel is one way I can educate others mostly via interaction giving them a different view and hopefully a better view than that they already have.

Thank You.

Connie wrote:..As to the SAs, are these stores you have shopped and puchased in before? Maybe they just recognize you and automatically go into salesperson mode?

Oh it seems to happen at both stores I have been to and stores I am in the first time. I do wonder if some is just their salesperson mode kicking in at times. What ever I just go with the flow.


I guess I did not write this because I am really bothered by it. Just a thought I had, and do not remember hearing much like it from others. I would be interested in hearing short stories from others. I also think for newer CDers, or those looking for information that stories like this give encouragement that the world is not always as bad of a place as we think it is.

I fully believe that our feminity shines thru even when we are in male mode. A few times my wife and I have been out and we have had someone address us by saying, "Ladies".

I suspect that you just seem pleasant and friendly and don't turn them off when the conversation begins. Or maybe in guy mode you're just cute and they want to talk to you.
In any event, enjoy.
Absaroka

I agree with the others Kimberly , I suspect like me you love to smile & when i 'm anywere near womens clothes i'm totally comfortable (as some males even when buying a gift for So they ten feet away from the racks).Plus i think that some girls do go into sales mode but the ones who give you that extra attention are the ones i love because they treat me like any other gg who loves to shop even in male mode. I aslo think area & maybe these girls have seen you before in other stores , which i think makes it easy for when i shop these girls know i love fem clothes , more than happy to buy if it fits great(and you can tell the ones who are enjoying you are the ones that keep bringing more clothes to try) and as i've posted my positive attitude i sure helps & now that i've done it so many times its more natural for me .One more thing i no for sure you know more about bras & things than i do & i suspect because of your comfort level & i'm sure the most is your personality just shines through. Stephenie G

Kimberley

Thinking about it now, it's probably happened maybe once or twice to me, although not often enough to have given me pause for thought. They may simply be well trained sales people who do it for all their customers, male or female. However, I suspect they probably have a sixth sense about us, gained through experience. Think about it. Working in a ladies clothing store, they are used to seeing mostly women buying for themselves. Likely the average Joe on the hunt for a Christmas or Birthday gift for his sweetheart is more often that not, your proverbial dead fish type, so eloquently described by your namesake KK. Seeing a guy who 'seems' a little more comfortable than they're used to seeing among the guy clientele, tips them off that they are most likely dealing with one of us. Just my 2c. The fact that I wear earrings in male mode for example, is an extra bit of confirmation for them and I'm sure, probably akin to walking in there with a sign on my head.

As for other shoppers, that's anyone's guess. Have fun and enjoy the positive attention wherever it comes from and perhaps the realization that more and more folks are finding us less scary is something we're just gonna have to get used to.

Stephanie

Thanks for the continued comments.

JoAnnDallas wrote:I fully believe that our feminity shines thru even when we are in male mode.

JoAnn, femininity or just our comfort level of who we are as a person and being ok with what we are doing.

Absaroka wrote:In any event, enjoy.

Yes what ever the reason is I do enjoy and hope others are also.

Stephenie G wrote:..One more thing i no for sure you know more about bras & things than i do

Know more? Maybe? I do know I have way too many bras and many more than the average GG has.

Stephanie W wrote:... Seeing a guy who 'seems' a little more comfortable than they're used to seeing among the guy clientele, tips them off that they are most likely dealing with one of us. Just my 2c. The fact that I wear earrings in male mode for example, is an extra bit of confirmation for them

I am sure being comfortable with who I am and what I am doing has something to do with it. And like you I have ear rings also.

I would love to hear more stories and tidbits of this happening to others.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

I'm usually not that lucky. I've just grown comfortable looking at women's clothing and if needed, grab something and head to the mens changing room to try things on. I usually grab a pair of men's jeans before going to the room. In some fully women's clothing stores, I ask if I can try them on.
NY & Co has closed doors and I wait in line with the rest of the girls. There is a Fashion Bug that has a handicap room to change in, they let me in there.

I would have no problem with someone asking me to try thing on without asking, but never happened.

I got to thinking about this a bit more and my behavior when I shop.

I am red green color blind. Years ago I developed a habit of asking people what colors clothes I have picked out if there is any doubt in my mind. Thinking back, although I am in the mens section I find I am still usually asking women. For some reason there must be a lot of women in the mens section. They are usually quite happy to tell me and quite helpful.

Also many times I have been shopping for my wife and daughters and I will ask a woman nearby her opinion. Granted I am not asking them about bras although I have had nice conversations about nightgowns. Again they are often quite pleasant and talkative.

I think women have a somewhat different attitude towards shopping than many men. Perhaps talking about clothes while shopping is sort of like if we were in the fishing tackle section and some cute woman asked us about fishing. (for those of us who like to fish anyway).

I also agree with the comment about the SAs. They work there all day, are used to watching the customers, and for all I know they can tell if you are shopping for yourself vs. shopping for someone else.

Absaroka