Trying it on.

[Emma H.]

So, I was with my GG friend at the mall, and we walked into a dress shop. She knows I'm a CD, so she tried to find something for me to try on. If the employees wondered what was going on, this was our story: She dared me to try something on.
Simple enough, right? I had to leave before I could try anything on, but now, I have to wait for another day to try it on. The girl I was with is always super busy, which I don't mind. My other GG friends who know cancel at the last minute. So I'm constantly being at the mall alone. So I'm wondering here, any way I could try on something without the help of my GGs?

[Carol Ann]

Of course, all you have to do is ask and 90% of the time they wil show you to a dressing room. What can they say "no". l

[Anthony Simon]

I have the impression, from what you write, that you would really like to take the next steps into dressing up. Like go in shops and actually buy clothes, get a makeover etc. Like Carol says, I don't think you have to worry too much about the staff. If you're serious and want to buy products, they're there to sell.

On the other hand, I'm not sure what size town you live in and if you have worries about being seen by someone you know. If money is a problem you might want to try charity shops (as they're called in the UK - I believe (?) Goodwill is what you call them in the States). Much cheaper there.

You sound really keen - and with that sort of keenness, sooner or later you're going to have to do something. I live in a big city, so it's easy for me to go places (like just a few miles away) where people won't know me. But there's always this worry about a snide remark from a salesperson or a dirty look from a customer. Everyone develops their own ways of dealing with this sort of stuff, but most of it is in deciding that you want - need - the stuff and you're going to buy it. If people have a problem with it, they usually don't have the intense kind of feelings that make people like us need to go and buy the stuff. So you just get on with it (or anyway I do)....

[Davita]

Depending on your size, like me being the economy size, the stores I frequent are not exclusively the domain of women. For example, Lane Bryant and Avenue pretty much expect to have a guy in there shopping for themselves. The corporate knows it, the stores know it and franchises. They all want to ensure you are a returning customer. In this day and age of tight/slow economy and the ability via technology to tell thousands about your experience, they will not want you leaving a store unhappy. Money talks.

With all that said, I swear my sales folks enjoy us girls because we are there with a genuine interest and it's not a chore. Simply said, we are good customers and nice to work with. As I tell many girls wanting to shop, if you go in not acting all crazy and perverted and you are conscientious about the other customers, then the sales folk will bend over backwards for you. Another thing I tell folks, I simply won't tolerate a bad sales person treating me bad because of who I am. If they are going to help me then help me; if they don't like the idea, then send someone over who doesn't care. I'm the customer -- period.

[Carol Ann]

Well said Davita, very well said

[Kimberly Kael]

I have the impression, from what you write, that you would really like to take the next steps into dressing up. Like go in shops and actually buy clothes, get a makeover etc. Like Carol says, I don't think you have to worry too much about the staff. If you're serious and want to buy products, they're there to sell.

Anthony is absolutely correct. Any business that has a clue welcomes customers no matter who they are. I'd suggest keeping two things in mind when you go out shopping:

Ask an employee before using dressing rooms. Any employee who declines to let you use their facilities would likely be a much bigger problem if you didn't ask in the first place, and in my experience the vast majority do say yes. Every single time I've encountered a negative response and I've asked them to check with their manager regarding store policy the negative quickly became a positive. I had literally never been refused, and I spent years shopping while living as a male.

Don't offend other customers. The store wants your business, but not at the expense of losing another sale. Do whatever it takes to help other shoppers remain comfortable, and if you're not sure how to go about that then try to shop when things are relatively quiet.

If your area isn't very LGBT friendly then it may not be as easy as what I've experienced, but most large national chains have policies in place to protect your right to shop there. Curiously enough I originally spent a lot of time making sure I had a handy excuse: a special occasion, someone who was about my size, etc. I don't remember ever actually using any of the excuses so it was just a waste of time and energy.

[Emma H.]

Thank you all so much for your input. I hope all your experiences turned out well. Anyway, tomorrow I'll try some dresses on. Any of you familiar with the shop called Deb? That's where I'm going. They sell lots of cute prom dresses. Not very many in my size, but hey. That's the life of a girl…right?