Advice day.

[Betty B.]

I finally got a job, so I'm not afraid to spend a little money. My first day is next Monday, so I have this week to shop during the day. I'm looking to shop for two things I'll need help with at this time.

So far I'm not afraid to buy women's cloths in drab, but I haven't actually talked to a sales person for advice. My experience so far is to rush in, buy cheep, and buy 4 items for every 1 that fits or works. Not such good odds. Tomorrow, if I don't chicken out, I'm going to a local wig shop to check it out, in place of buying something off the internet. I've read that the odds of any wig shop being CD friendly are pretty good. I'm large, 6' 2", color blind, and I really don't trust my fashion sense, so I think it's time to get some real advice. If I like what I see, and the prices are reasonable (defined as?) I will probably buy something. Do date, when I get dressed up and look in a mirror, I have to use a low mirror or pretend my head is not there. With a wig I will finally get to see Betty. Kind of a big deal, in a way.

Also, last Friday night I was at home in a t-shirt and a blue denim skirt. My wife, who is still dealing with my dressing, made the suggestion that I needed a better top for the skirt. I took that as being encouraging. So I've decided what she meant to say was that I should go to Lane Bryant this week and ask a sales person for a top to match my denim skirt, again if I don't chicken out. I'm not, of course, going to be in the skirt, but I think I should probably wear my favorite 36B bra with small inserts. If I wear a loose T-shirt, you really can't even tell, or so I tell myself.

Actually I use my wife as a guide. If we can go out with me wearing something (like a bra or women's shorts), and she let's me, it's probably because she can't tell, so good enough. Just yesterday she vetoed a pair of women's jeans shorts that I thought looked good, but apparently not.

So I'm looking forward to a hopefully fun day tomorrow.

[Davita]

Hi Betty,

First, let's start with the wig shop. Most don't let you try on all the wigs they have so you need to be a bit selective before asking to try one (and certainly more) on. Some make you buy a wig cap before you try on their hair. You want a wig cap so don't worry about spending the buck or so. The wig cap will help with any possible itch. Here's some advice from my site, http://davita-farley.webs.com/how_to/howwig.html. There is a lot more to picking a wig than just walking in and saying, "I want that one." You need understand their care and feeding as well as how they look. Your face shape some say in how well one hair style or another looks on you. I do not recommend getting real hair until you are ready to manage it. Okay with all that, go shopping and ask all the questions you want. They are there to sell you a wig and make you happy enough to come back again. You can also go and not buy a thing. Some girls feel pressured to buy because they got helped. Don't feel the pressure; they are going to make money with or without your help. If you are worried about other customers; don't. Nice ones will actually converse and offer some advice. The not so nice one will simply ignore you, just not being so socialable.

For your top shopping... Lane Bryant is so rediculously overpriced any more; if you can find your size anywhere else, I would go elsewhere. Again, salepeople need you to spend money and be happy with your purchases so you will return. You want something to go with a denim skirt, "Hi, I'm looking for a top to go with a denim skirt". "What color is the skirt?" "Well it's dark blue and looks new" or "It's pale blue". And off you go with the saleperson to find something you like. "What does she like? What size is she?" These two questions you can answer with any pronoun you want. Again, have fun shopping.

[DonnaT]

I imagine, for your size, a wig fitting will be the best, and really only way to ensure a good fit. Wigs differ is sizes and should come with an adjustable size band.

I went in and told the lady I was look for a wig, selected a couple, and she tried them on me. Then she selected a couple more that she thought were more suitable. Many wigs, no matter how good they look on a styrofoam head, simply don't look good on everyone.

Remember, your wife is still coming to grips with everything, so don't push her over her limits.

Congrats on the job.

[Eileen (SO)]

Dear Betty,

Wig shops serve more than the CD community. my husbands favorite shop has a large cancer patient clientele. Most customers have never bought a wig before, so listen to any advice given. Face shape, complexion, and your personality are key factors. You are not wearing a hair piece every day, so don't go for the highest cost types. Look online to figure out what might be your price range.

Also, last Friday night I was at home in a t-shirt and a blue denim skirt. My wife, who is still dealing with my dressing, made the suggestion that I needed a better top for the skirt. I took that as being encouraging.

Not exactly encouraging, more likely her thoughts may be, 'If he's going to do this, please don't look embarrassing'.
If you receive any mail order catalogs, go through them together. You might learn more about you wife's tastes than you thought you knew. Her tastes may not be the same as how you envision yourself. Pleasing her should lead to a more accepting spouse and you looking more passable.
You shouldn't shop underdressed for personal pleasure if it makes her uncomfortable. Whether a spouse is new to this or totally accepting, she doesn't want her guy to look foolish. In the near future, when you both get comfortable, shopping as two women will be fun for both of you.

Eileen