Purses

[Gwen Lee]

I've been thinking about using a purse in day to day activities. I usually carry a briefcase to work and back, but most items would be more suited to a purse, for example, keys, lotion, hair brush, aspirin, spare change, and wallet. It seems silly to carry a big briefcase, when a smaller purse would be just right. Has anyone used a purse when not dressed fem? If so, any comments? Did you try to find something masculine or just a woman's style you like? Thanks!

[Kimberly Kael]

Since the first of the year I've been carrying a purse instead of cramming everything into my pockets. I've been using a fairly small black purse with some silver hardware that I would definitely not describe as masculine - but it's not like it's particularly frilly, either. I haven't yet brought anything more colorful into the workplace.

I love the freedom of being able to wear femme pants that don't have any pockets to speak of, and I feel much more elegant without unsightly bulges ruining the nice clean lines of my clothes. I've certainly earned a glance or two, but I haven't had anyone comment on it directly. Like most things, if you act like you know what you're doing and aren't bothered by it, most other people won't worry about it either. Of course I'm sure there are work environments and social circles where it wouldn't fly at all, so use your good judgement.

[Jaye]

I haven't carried an actual purse in drab, but a few years ago, I got into the habit of carrying some sort of large bag. I started out with a messenger-type bag I bought on clearance from Target. When that bag wore out, I replaced it with a microfiber tote bag that was a freebie for subscribing to Vogue. That bag was replaced by a carry-on that came with a set of luggage from Walmart. The latest bag is a laptop carrier I found at Steve and Barry's. It's got lots of pouches and pockets for all manner of things.

A couple of months back, I incorporated a couple of pairs of women's slacks into my work wardrobe, because the issued uniform only includes two pairs of pants. These slacks only have teeny pockets, I think for appearances. So I'm forced to carry my wallet, keys and phone in the bag. It was awkward at first, but I've come to prefer it. Plus, without all the bulges that come from stuff in pockets, I present a much smoother silhouette.

[Kay]

I’ve used a small black leather Samsonite shoulder bag for all my stuff for the last two years. I’ve only ever had two derogatory comments about it, both from the same sarky bird at work, “Nice handbag C….” she says, my reply “Thanks”, nothing else has been said by anyone except that that they thought it was a good idea, don’t think I’ve converted too many blokes over here to ‘manbags’ (Ugh I hate that word!!). A lot of girls over here adorn their bags with little dangling creatures, some times not so little. Mine is a fat monkey I got from Gibraltar and he is called Steven, named after some chap who said jokingly “What’s your monkey called?”
Kay

[KimberlyS]

I carried a bag for a while. It was one of the strap around the waist type but I just carried it. Not sure why I quit. I guess just back to old habit of being a guy.

Once on a business I did a bit too much shopping and could not fit things into my suitcase. So I bought a large generic looking purse. Work great as a carry on. So I had my computer and purse just like the GG's could have. Could not do that any more as suppose to limit to one carry on..... Like everyone follows that. On my last trip back i just put my purse in my computer bag.

kim
joe in a skirt

[Anita]

I'm definitely happier since I bought a carrying bag last year. It's a small 8" x 10" X 3" that's made by Swissgear, the Swiss army knife people. I found out it's supposed to be a lunch carrier, but it works great for shlepping around a cell phone, sunglasses, reading glasses, extra pens, you name it. It has two compartments, a big one and a smaller one on the front.

I've always got change, and I don't have to sit on my billfold all day. I haven't heard any comments about it at all--it's a utility bag, so there's no gender associated with it. I would think more and more guys are going to have to carry around some kind of bag--especially in summertime, when there's fewer pockets available. I also dislike the term 'man bag', and would hope we come up with something better than that.

Just had a thought. There's long been a trend to neutralize gender words--like both men and women are actors, now. Wouldn't it be something if the word "purse" became the gender-neutral term for everyone's carrying bag? It won't happen, but it would be a natural usage to fall into.

[Gwen Lee]

I'd like to find something like your Swiss bag, but maybe in leather. A nice brown or light tan is what I was thinking of. If I get the courage to go this route, I'll have to break it in slowly, as it would be a big departure for my usual appearance. Thanks for the suggestions.

[Veronica]

There's long been a trend to neutralize gender words--like both men and women are actors, now. Wouldn't it be something if the word "purse" became the gender-neutral term for everyone's carrying bag? It won't happen, but it would be a natural usage to fall into.

Hi Anita

I had an uncle who lived to be almost 100. He was born in England, and he frequently used to refer to his wallet as his purse. It probably goes back to the days when men carried small tote bags, which were likely the original purses, to hold their coins which were the primary form of currency. You see examples of this in historic movies. Also, the prizes at events such as horse races are referred to as a purse. It probably relates to the same concept of having a satchel of some sort to hold the gold coins.

The following quote is from a history of the purse in the following link: http://www.answers.com/topic/purse

"Around the year 1670, men's breeches were made with built-in pockets, which caused them to stop carrying purses. They did however carry little netted purses in their pocket to carry money."

This definition of the word purse can be found at:
http://ardictionary.com/Purse/14659

"A small bag or pouch, the opening of which is made to draw together closely, used to carry money in; by extension, any receptacle for money carried on the person; a wallet; a pocketbook; a portemonnaie."

So perhaps, we should stop being so uptight about the word purse and just use whatever we wish to carry our belongings. As it is now necessary to carry so many things, such as cellphones, reading glasses ( I require them in several strengths) dozens of plastic cards (for credit, banking, ID, insurance, etc.), pens, paper, and combs, as well as money, we need to get beyond the sexism associated with handbags. My wife and I often combine all our personal belongings in one messenger type bag when travelling, and we can take turns carrying it, with me shouldering the load most of the time. This came about, because I never had room for my wallet, credit card holder and ID holder, and glass cases in my pockets, and she would end up trying to cram them into her purse. I also have a small backpack that I carry when alone in the summer and have few pockets.

All the best

Veronica

[April Rose]

My wife had an expensive leather Coach handbag with a wide strap and a round bottom. She carried it for several years, until she got sick of it. I came across it when I was looking for something to carry art supplies for my drawing class in. Since then I have been carrying it more and more. It's become "my " purse. I still don't carry it everywhere though, I feel awkward in some stores, not because it is so femme, but because as a man with a large bag I might be suspected as a shoplifter.
My wife doesn't want me going out dressed, but she doesn't seem to mind me carrying a purse. So I'm thinking of getting something smaller that I could carry anywhere. If I do I'll have to be sure I don't get anything that will bother my wife. But I know I won't be satisfied unless it's a lady's bag.

[Kimberly Kael]

I completely agree about getting hung up on terminology and questions of gender-appropriateness. You'll never be able to convince someone else to use the term you prefer, and if you're worried about what other people will think they'll pick up on your discomfort and run with it.

Instead, focus on finding a bag style you love. There's an amazing variety available. I personally prefer a very small, slim shoulder bag but that means I can't carry everything imaginable. It also means that it's easier for me to migrate from one purse to another. Of course I've also been focused on something functional with just a little flair, and I don't have anything in the way of "event" bags. I guess if I wind up going to the opera en femme I'll have some shopping to do! The opportunities to learn really are endless.

[Absaroka]

I found a burlap handbag at a tag sale that I really liked. I used it for quite a while as a gym bag and although I asked several people their opinion and they all said it was a purse and not a gym bag no one seemed to care. However my eldest daughter liked it so much she convinced me to give it to her.

Absaroka

[Lydia]

When I travel, I often use a "bag" or "purse" to carry stuff (camera, cellphone, etc). Such simple bags - often leather - are frequently seen on men in Europe - especially in France. Once in a while you see one that could be construed as feminine, but no one gives it a second look. Men's clothes are usually equippped with ample pockets, but a "purse" (whatever you want to call it) is comfortable and convenient. A shoulder bag, carried securely, is also better protection against the skilful pickpockets that prowl the Paris Metro.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Amelie-Laveau]

I use a small knapsack type of bag to carry my stuff. Or I have this thing I make out of remnant fabric. It's square in shape and it has a draw string on the opening so I can close it and carry it by the shoe string. Quite simple really, but does the job.

[Elizabeth]

Hi Gwen,

Jim, the popular character on the hit TV Series "The Office", American version, carries what amounts to a purse. They are stylish and made for men, but are in fact a purse. Perhaps something like that would work for you?

This is a picture from the show.



Love always,
Elizabeth

[Gwen Lee]

I think there are several possible options for a man style bag - like the one in the picture. I would prefer it really be a woman's purse, just because I like the idea of it being more feminine. Maybe I will transition from my briefcase to another male bag that is more purse like in design, and then go to something more feminine. Good thing with that approach is it means more shopping!!