Crossdressers-Haven.com

My hair is longer than in my profile picture but still not over the ears...the goal for now is a hair style that does not throw me back into the 70's of the guy fashion era (with the wood paneling and orange shag carpeting and plaid pants) but gives a very cute, pert? smart, flirty, and feminine style. Fortunately I have seen many female reporters with hair shorter than mine!! they are blessed with a feminine forehead that is round, men have a larger forehead...no not as large as Frankenstein but testosterone ruins it for those of us who are gender fluid or transgender...Asian men are lucky! Still...There are many beautiful actresses, and others even business women who sport short feminine styles that show their ears...so...that is a goal.

Oh I do know men wear long hair...short hair is just ingrained in me and it is something I am again trying for the 3rd time to overcome. I have heard those trying to quit smoking have to keep trying and they go in cycles go back to smoking...then come around again to wanting to try to quit and after 5 or more attempts if they are persistent they are able to overcome that horrible life endangering habit. So I imagine trying to change an mind that is telling me on my male side I should have a short hair style to look my best as a man and to be attractive to women....nah...it's not necessarily true at all. A man with longer hair can be seen as quite attractive by women, not all will like it but many women do... so...It is just another challenge to be met and overcome....

Here I go again...and...next time I go to the hair stylist I may need to go to one more oriented to doing women's hair but who also do hair for men who wear it longer. hum...Oh well off to get groceries...bye...

Ah hair in the tween stage, I know it well. I'm going through the same thing myself at the moment. For me the desire to have longer hair is twofold on one hand it's more feminine while it's also a rebellious act on my part. From 5 to 50 I've always sported a short neat guy style hair cut mainly because of my dad and his "short back and sides" ethos and then work requirements, uniform code etc.

Now thanks in part to early forced retirement I can give the two fingered salute to all those restrictions and let it grow. The last time I grew it out was for charity and ended up donating 14" to be made into a wig.

As soon as it's at an acceptable length I'm giving my wife's stylist a call and have her in to style it. I want her to give me a style that can work for both genders but still have a feminine feel to it. I'm trying to figure out a way I can incorporate bangs but I'm not sure if I can.

I just wish my hair grew as fast as my nails. This quarter inch per month or whatever is a real drag.

Hugs,
Michelle.

I read no matter what you do...hair grows about a quarter inch a month...I am lucky to have nice hair that is fairly straight, a slight wave with humidity...I am doing the central part thing and it is now just about able to rest over the upper part of my ears. It's great.

Like you I have kind of a psychological barrier, the regular hair cut which was considered long in the military with all the high and tights around but I never had my head shaved, course I was an officer so had a little leeway.

The hard part for myself is when my gender goes to the male side for a while and I look at it and think it looks "ratty" and unkempt and then my male side just can't stand it wanting a clean sharp look. That is when I usually give in and go get it cut....

I am going to try this time...danger is with straight hair without something to hold it in place swept behind the ears it will not stay and will fall down...great for my gurl side...not so much for my guy side. I do not like any goop in my hair, I like the dry look. Plus If I let it go to chin length there is just no way that can fit with "me" it's just not "me" in guy mode....

It will be a bit of a struggle to overcome. I have tried I think twice before but eventually gave in Well we will see. No doubt about it though I prefer my hair to any wig, it is much prettier and better looking and much more of a thrill to comb your own hair into a feminine style and have it look great!

So a short neat feminine style is what I am after it is a very thin line...will also have to find a good hair stylist.

Don't know about you Anne but my hair is at that annoying length where it tucks behind my ears but there's not enough length to keep it there. The slightest movement and it's hanging down again. I hate any kind of hair control product beit hair spray, gel, mousse etc. I have enough trouble keeping my hair looking and feeling clean without loading it down with that stuff.

The hard part for myself is when my gender goes to the male side for a while and I look at it and think it looks "ratty" and unkempt and then my male side just can't stand it wanting a clean sharp look. That is when I usually give in and go get it cut....

Same here. I've been totally guy for the past few days, no makeup or earrings and every time I caught myself in the mirror I couldn't help but think "Sheesh I look like a dang hippy...get a haircut!". But conversely when femme I try different ways to brush it just to see if I can find a new style or look.

Well from this new avatar pic ...dark blue woman's polo, make up and jewelry...you can see the current length of my hair...just long enough to lay outside the upper part of my ears and I am liking it. It will tuck behind the ears and pretty much stay put for guy mode. I believe as it grows to the length I want this time I may be able to actually keep it AND when I need a trim go to a place that does women's hair to ensure feminine cutting techniques are used over male. I believe male hair cuts they cut it very short and off the top and taper it up the back and trim it over the ears and ...and it is cut so that the side away from the part and the front hair over the brow is cut shorter on the side opposite the part. I don't know why men's hair is cut this way but it is irritating so I will have to tell the lady I want it cut the same way she would cut it for any woman. I believe women's hair is cut evenly all around, or rather that one side is a mirror image of the other so that it is even. I would add another picture to the gallery but they do not allow you to add much more than one or two a week and because it takes a lot of space to store pictures they really want you to keep the pictures there down to just a few of your best.

The avatar unfortunately cannot be enlarged and you cannot see it from the sides very well to see that it really is longer, as a guy I would definitely need a haircut, but not as a guy who wears it somewhat longer...kind of like Randy Owens of the Musical Group Alabama about twenty years ago but without the beard, look on an old album or on you tube I think that is still not a bad hairstyle for guys...so I am shooting for that for the guy but the classic relatively centrally parted kind of pert and flurty style women wear at that length...I like it! I am lucky to have straight hair with only a minimal amount of a wave in places depending on humidity...

Oh Alabama...was my wife's favorite group. I thought they were prolific and made good music but were not really my favorite, they were writing more for their female fans.

Anne, even women go through "tween" stages of their hair, not to mention the dreaded bad hair days. Why do you think the woman you see every day at the office who wears her hair down suddenly one day shows up with her hair in a bun or ponytail? I know I did it more than once when the hair just wouldn't cooperate in the morning.

As for the tween stages I went through it once myself. I had always worn my hair long but for some reason back in the early 90's I decided to try something different and went from hair a good 4" beyond my shoulders to one of those cute pixie cuts. It was an exceptionally warm summer that year and it was cooler and combined with the fact I had just bought my first convertible it was great that summer. It was easier in the morning and took a lot less work to get ready for work. Even my husband thought it looked great. That lasted maybe a year but I decided to let it grow out again. Well in spite of going to the salon every couple of weeks for a trim and help I went through a stage of a couple of months when I couldn't do a thing with it. I was so happy when it finally grew out to a length I could do something with it in the morning without spending an hour with a hair dryer and curling iron. For the record my hair is shoulder length today and I have no thoughts of cutting it.

So you see girls even women have hair issues. My best advice is to just do what you can with it as it grows out. If you want to take the ultimate step make an appointment at a salon and tell the stylist what you are trying to achieve be it a unisex cut or just struggle through the growing out process. You might be surprised what a touch of trimming and perhaps some layering might do for your "do'."

Thanks, I am lucky that I have supportive accepting women around me for advice so I can learn all the little secrets. Barbers always take it off the top, well now I am trying to just let it grow and hoping I will have bulk and length so I finally go to a hair salon so that somebody who knows how to cut women's hair can do the right things...I want the techniques used on women so that it will look great when I style it but short enough so that I can get away with a longer man's style. This afternoon I came home and after being male for a couple days, I just wanted to slip into something feminine...a dress. The temp is right and I fixed my hair it is a good inch over the top of my ears...that is pretty big for me and I will just keep on going and letting it grow out. Thanks, appreciate it Diana...Anne

As a transgender/gender fluid gurl, it has been several days so here I am with a bit of a femm flair navy polo, boot cut jeans and white Asics, my bangly large easy to read gold tone dial watch really a piece of functional jewelry, necklace and my bracelets...lingerie with just the A cups and gel pads...both boys are here so I am without ear rings or make up my hair is though styled with a part above that of a male part and to the left of the central part with my hair hanging outside and over my ears..gee it takes so long for hair to grow out! Let's see Sept 2 was my last male hair cut at the barbershop I used to go to...2 months...22 days. At least it lays over the top part of my ears by about an inch and I do not plan on cutting it any time soon, in fact I may contact the guy...Howard who used to cut my wife's hair at Regis but he is not in today.... I want to find out how much they charge...explain to him...I feel comfortable because he wears his rather short cut blonde (for women's) hair styled in ringlets and I suspect he is gay because he is rather flamboyant in his manner and speech. In fact last time I took my wife to him a long time ago...2-3 years?? he was paying more attention to me and talking with me...eventually I began to feel ...uncomfortable...I am not gay!!! I had to go wait outside in the mall to a bench where I could still see through the windows. Sorry to any who are but my orientation is just not that way and I begin to feel uncomfortable after a while. He is a very nice man. I want to see can he cut it like a woman's that could still be combed like a male's...how long I should allow it to grow before I book an appointment probably depends on when I feel I am ready or have the length I want or slightly longer. Anyway...I want to explain to him over the phone which I am sure will be perfectly fine that I am gender fluid and want to be able to style it both ways...how long should I allow it to grow...to my ear lobes? until my ears are completely covered...chin length though that would be too long to hide and I am not ready to sport a femm style every day if I ever will be, I mean I am gender fluid and not transgender, so....that puts a limit on it unless I get used to .... many men have shoulder length hair and tie it back in a ponytail...but I do not believe I am ready for that. May be someday though...Imagine having that much hair to work with...wow!!! Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Oh well started out as a diary post but as it moved largely into hair moved it here. I am still in the after glo...or just the wonderful feeling of finally being free just to be who I am openly...to really just live and be...femm or homme when whatever comes as I am feeling internally as I realize ... I can get in the car and go places openly fully dressed and femm whenever I wish, wherever I want to to just live and to be free. That glo I believe is going to last for quite a while...I have only been waiting and hiding for 58 years!!! Well not 58 years I really have been opening up for the last couple years. But no regrets, I have today, this instant and for the rest of my life to just live and be who I am...no more hiding, no more "jail" or closet. I am a gender fluid person it is just who I am. Gaw...it is a truly wonderful feeling and it is very real...free to be you and me...

Oh...missed Michelle...few posts back...sorry. As far as hair products...My hair only has a bit of a wave on the right bang...bang it! Otherwise it is quite strait and moves very freely so when styling it femm I do like a bit of light hairspray to hold it in place once I have styled it...I have some Pantene Pro-V volumizing hairspray for flexible hold which comes in a pump bottle that is really not too bad. For myself hey...If I want to maintain the styling it is really not much of an option. Our sitter tells me women use all kind of products in their hair for different effects. Right now I am wearing femm flair because it has been several days and the tide is in...ding! But no make up or hair spray...Thumbs up!

Well I finally bit the bullet and I'm now using hairspray to keep my wayward locks in place. Couldn't stand the flopping all over my face any longer, it was either hairspray or hair cut and as the latter is out of the question I went with the former. A quick spray of Silvikrin in the morning and I'm usually good all day.