how i started crossdessing c:

[Koko Izumi]

hiya! im a teenage crossdresser for pretty much all my life, when i was really young my mom loved to dress me in girl clothes and she would always say i would make a cute girl and i heard that all my life at the time i didnt understand wat she mint and when i was about i thank maybe 4 or so i remember i would put on my moms bra & panties and i seen a pretty dress with a rose pattern on it i put it on and i would try to act like my mom and thats when i got super more into it. when my cuzen use to live with us at the time they dress me up or i would ask them too and i always felt super happy and it felt like it was my self when i was wearing girl clothes and make-up and fixed hair. like when ever i would go into my moms room or something i would play in her clothes when no one was around and at the time i didnt kno wat crossdressing was and i didnt kno why i love doing that sooo much. i felt like i was super missed up and super sick in the head for doing it plus, growing up i would hear people keep saying i look like/would make a cute girl or my grandma would always say i should of been born one cuz i love shopping and wat not and other things. when i got older i got started to feel like a huge freak and kinda depress cuz people would make fun of me which being girly was big part in it (thank goodness they didnt kno i crossdress =-=) and i felt like i was the only one and when i was about 10ish i thank i new someone who would keep being super mean to me and always tesing me cuz i guess on some lvl he new i love girl clothes and i thank he seen pics of me wearing make-up .-. plus, my lips are super red like i had lipstick on (i got it from my mom&grandma&her mom which im thankful for<3) when i was about 13ish or 14 i got were i would keep denying ima crossdresser and i felt ashame of it and try to stop but it would keep being on my mind and it would drive me crazy to crossdress ( which the couse of that was probly that my mom said i could be anything but a crossdresser and she will fight me for funny huh? or a drag queen and wat not) so when i turn 15 i keep doing it but, i would hate myself and i did for a long time. i got were i wish i was a girl were no one would give me crap about it and it be "oky" plus, i was sick of people treating me like i was a a-hole guy that would go around treating girls badly and all that =~= like i would be like my birth father in the first place... anyways, so when i turned 16 i made some friends online<3 that didnt juge me and help me lighten/open up and i got were i accepted i was a crossdresser and now is prod of it! <3 so i keep doing it to this day c: so thats my story of how i started x3 plus, one day i hope i can get into cosplay cx (sorry if i rambled for a long time *o~o)

[Anthony Simon]

... when i was about 13ish or 14 i got were i would keep denying ima crossdresser and i felt ashame of it and try to stop but it would keep being on my mind and it would drive me crazy to crossdress ( which the couse of that was probly that my mom said i could be anything but a crossdresser and she will fight me for funny huh? or a drag queen and wat not) so when i turn 15 i keep doing it but, i would hate myself and i did for a long time.

There's an awful lot in your post, but I want to pick out this. It's kind off unfair of your mother to say you can be anything other than a crossdresser if, as you say:

when i was really young my mom loved to dress me in girl clothes and she would always say i would make a cute girl

She may feel guilty about dressing you up when you were young.

[Koko Izumi]

Yesh it is kinda unfair but, she use to dress her dogs and cats and wat not also so i guess its just a thing she does :3 so, i dont thank she thought i would end up being one

[Anthony Simon]

when my cuzen use to live with us at the time they dress me up or i would ask them too and i always felt super happy and it felt like it was my self when i was wearing girl clothes and make-up and fixed hair.

That does probably mean that crossdressing is part of who you are period. Also that your relatives have kept on recognising something girly in you. Even the nasty kid at school recognised it, though he was horrible about it.

What bothers me is you don't seem too have anyone to talk about it to in the real world. You do sound like you could do with proper adult support, that's my main feeling about what you write. I mean online is OK, but it would be better if you could share with someone - like an adult in your family or a teacher or somebody. Is your grandma still alive (the one who said you should have been born a girl)?

[Koko Izumi]

True ur right. it is part of me

Well i do get support from one friend of.mine but she lives somewere diff.from.me so i.cant like go and talk.to.her i can.only massage her and I don't kno anyone irl next.to.me.anyway to talk too and im quit so it would be hard to talk to anyone anyways and I'm in homeschool besides when I was in.school there was never a teacher I would wanna talk too and nu im.grandma died when I was like 9 or so I thank .-. So, like my friends online i new for a very long.time are the only ones I have and.trust there like.family and besides in my family relative wise its just my mom and me :3

[Requal Jo]

Hi Koko. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

I can partly relate to your dressing as my sisters used to dress me in female attire when I was 3 years to 6 years and take me to the local park as a girl to play. I truly believe this is why I dress today, some 60 years later (been dressing on and off most of my life, but more permanently now).

It is great that you have found friends online to discuss your feelings with and they appear to be supportive towards your needs.

You have now found a safe Haven at this site where you can openly express your feelings and receive answers to questions from a wide and cosmopolitan group of experienced and friendly people.

[Koko Izumi]

@Requal Jo ur welcomes :3

i see :3 thats intrusting o: but thats awsome u are! *^^

i see *^^ thanks for the info c: