I don't remember the initial incident but...

[Kathy]

... my mother is fond of telling the story of how, when I was in the 1st grade (about 6 years old), she dressed me as a little girl for the Halloween party a school. She tells how, when it was time for a bathroom break, one of the teachers saw me standing in the boys line and made me move over to the girls line.

As I said, I actually have no memory of that particular event. However, I do have memories from around that same time period of sneaking into my older sister's bedroom and trying on her ballet leotard and tutu. After that I was constantly into her drawers and closet trying on all manner of panties, skirts, dresses and so forth.

Since then I have gone through many episodes of dressing and purging without any real understanding of why. Only in the last 2 to 3 years have I done any serious research on the subject and the result has been that I have come a long way toward accepting this side of my personality and allowing Kathy as much freedom as possible without fighting the feelings as I had done in the past.

I still have a way to go, but I am feeling more relaxed and comfortable with myself every day.

[Beauty]

Hi Kathy,

I wish my mom would have dressed me. That's a great memory Kathy!

The purge stuff is very familiar to me. Unfortunately.

Good for you for accepting everything! I hope the site gives you even more insight to who you are. I know it's helped me.

Beauty

[Gelinda]

Kathy, Until I came to this week site, I had only found one ariticle on the web that was positve and truly helped me. I am still looking for more and going to the big city soon to get some books others have told me about on this week site.

I truly hope your path to this site has been better than mine as it was so negative. But I am here now so the world is almost right. Almost. Gelinda

[Karen Marie]

hi kathy,
welcome to this site.i too had a mom who dressed me and was
very supportive.it takes time,but you will come to terms with your
cding.there is so much support here. bunches of hugs,
karen.

[Kathy]

Just to clarify, my mother dressed me that one time. The rest was on my own. I did get caught on several occasions and the result each time was anything BUT supportive. My parents even took me to a psychiatrist to see if he could "cure" me.

That kind of a start probably explains why I spent so many years fighting these feelings. Now, I am learning to accept them and even have some fun with it.

Kathy

[Virginia]

Kathy, you are in a real pretty state, Smugglers' Notch and up around Johnson - nice country. As for your acceptance, you are well your way girl, just enjoy your "Magical Mystery Tour." If you have not read "Jung's Anima Theory and How it Reates to Crossdressing." it is well worth the time.
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepage ... /anima.htm
Let us know what you think.
Love,
Deborah

[Kathy]

Actually, I'm about 30 miles east and a bit north of Johnson. I just love it here. But, then, I grew up here though I was born in Chicago. I've never been to Virginia but I understand that the scenery is very similar.

Thank you for the link. I haven't read that yet but I took a quick look last evening and it looks quite interesting. What research I've done has been very hit or miss through web searches using the terms crossdressing or transvestism. Mostly I just land on some porn site.

A lot of info out there is so out dated or just plain wrong. It is no small wonder that so many of us have such a hard time figuring out who and what we are.

For me, while I might have some fun with it, it isn't about trying to pass in public. I'm more interested in why it feels so darn good to pull on a pair of women's blue jeans and so blah to wear men's jeans even when they look virtually identical. There has to be more to it than that the women's jeans were made for a woman and not for a man. Did that make ANY sense???