Are you Really Interested?

[TaraCD]

As part of my catchinh up with this side of my life, i hope you don't mind if I post this one again.

Well, I'm not sure all this is interesting to anyone, but I'm thought I'd tell a little tale of my past, just for the sake of this wonderful site.

Ok, It's all a bit hazy, but I do remember being very young, 5 or 6, and trying on one of my sister's dresses. From what I recall, this was a 'once off' for those early days. I have no other recolections of wearing or desiring to wear womens clothes for many years after. I was however, jelous of my sister, in particular her collection of jewellery. This became an obsession to the point where I'd take it and hide it away. If this has anything to do with the subject at hand, I don't know? Perhaps some of the more knowledgable ladies here can tell me.

I do know that it was January 1989, I'd just turned 11 and I suppose hormones were starting to stir. My sister, two years older than me, had just begun wearing bras. We were on holidays (summer in my part of the world) and our family was staying in an apartment near the beach. For reasons I can't recall, i'd been left alone in the apartment. I don't know if was desire or the fore-mentioned jelousy that made me do it, but for some reason I tried on one of my sisters training bras.

WELL! Here starts a new part of my life. The thrill I got was quite amazing. I still remember it well. A little white, front fastening number stired things deep inside (and some on the outside ). For the rest of the holiday I took what ever oppurtunity I could to stay in the apartment alone, where I'd try on my sisters new bras, quickly graduating to other items, swimsuits, panties, skirts and then into my mother's room and onto the new challenge! Doing a REAL bra up. I think I learned quickly.

This pattern developed and endured for many year. Every time I was alone I'd slip into my mother's or sister's room and try on underwear, skirts, blowses, leotards, you name it. I don't recall feeling guilty about it, I always knew it was wrong and the consequenses, should I be discovered would be severe. So this carried on in secret until the day i moved out. In retrospect, I don't believe my sister or mother can NOT have known. If someone were opening my drawers every other day for eight years, surely, no matter how careful they were, you'd notice. Anyway, if they knew, nothing was said.

I went on living a relatively happy and normal childhood and adolesence. I had a good relationship with my father, being very sporting, i guess I was the apple of his eye. I acheived quite well at school, was fairly popular, had a string of girlfiends as well as this one secret part of my life. For this part of my life I'm not sure if my cross-dressing wasn't highly driven by fetishism as much of the pleasure obtained from wearing womens clothes, particularly lingerie, was of a sexual nature.

It was only after I left school and moved into adulthood did the guilt begin. I though that once the temptation was taken away, the desire would stop. How wrong I was!

Well, there's the first episode of my saga. I hope it hasn't been to draining to read, it has been somewhat draining to write. Most of the above has never been shared with anyone.
I hope someone can relate to some of my learning and living and if you're interested to hear more or have any comment or advice, please let me know.

For now, it's my bed-time. (Tonight it's a pink cami and matching boy-leg knickers.)
Thanks
TARA

[Rebecca]

Hi Tara,

I can relate to some of your story, It seems there are a few traits we T-girls have in common. Nice to hear the early years of your story. It is strange talking about yourself openly when it has been hidden for so long. Looking forward to the next installment.

All best wishes
Rebecca xxx

[Beauty]

Hi there Tara!

I started my CD'ing when I was 5 too. Looking back on it, I wouldn't have wanted any different of a childhood. I loved being a CD'r then, although it was incredibly confusing.

Thanks for taking the time to tell us about your beginnings and I do think it will help someone else. I know it's therapeutic for me to read. AND no it wasn't too long.

Beauty