Speaking out

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 4:37 pm

The first person I told about me crossdressing was my mother. She was over at my apartment helping just clean up, being single and unattached, my place sometimes gets messy. Not that bad just things I forget. Anyway! She was nearing to leave and I felt a need to tell her, this was just last year, I kept pacing up and down the hall wanting tell but having trouble telling her. Finaly I had her come into my bedroom and sit down and I told her after starting and stoping several times.

Once I did tell her she wanted to know how long I had been doing this and wanted to know if this was something new. It is not. I finaly showed her some of femen clothes that I had. She thought it was intersting I think she was a little shocked. Still we talked a little and told her about I have been looking for dress. Up until then it had mostly underclothes. We soon talked and this about a week or so later the two of went to second hand store we have here and looked around at the items.

Now I have someone to talk about this although I sometimes think she does not want to talk about it. Other times it seams alright. Still I do not always feel comfratble talking about being a CD but this forum has least helped a little. The one thing that bothers me is that my mom suggested that speak with a psycolgist. This may have to with other issues but when I told her about me CD she brought this up and although it has been a nearly a year since I have told her it still seams to bother me.

Thanks to all who respond.
Jesse

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 4:45 pm

"The one thing that bothers me is that my mom suggested that speak with a psycolgist."

Don't let this bother you. If you are fine with how you feel about yourself then don't worry about it. There's nothing "wrong" with you and if others can't accept how you are, its not your problem. But good luck with your Mom.

Danielle La Belle · Post by **Danielle La Belle** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 5:11 pm

No one can live in your shoes but you. With a "Dear Abby" type of consideration on this subject, YOU are the only one that has sufficient information about all of the variables that have not been discussed so far in this thread.

You mentioned "other issues" when referring to the application of a psychologist. Most often, [GG] are more willing to seek help than those of the [male] personna. So, if your fem side says that your other issues need resolution, do not be afraid to consider help one-on-one.

For the CD issue, I have always asked myself what my reasons are. If I cannot honestly address this and return with some reasonable ideas, than and only then would I consider an outside conference with a specialist that perhaps has experience with the T* community.

There are various forms or types of psychology and with that, there are a mixture of therapies that can be considered. The key here might just be, what is your personal motive? Some find sexual pleasure (masturbation) in wearing fem under clothes. Some find a sense of relief and over-all warmth or feeling of relaxation. It varies and so their reasons vary as well.

I do not expect you to discuss here those private feelings or actions. You need to take some time alone and brain-storm about your own self-interest and reasons. If you come out happy, okay. If not, to what degree is it causing you stress? That degree will help you decide on a course of action.

You Mom is just reacting as anyone would to something that is considered taboo in our western culture. The variables here are unlimited. We all mean well, but, really, you are the gatekeeper to your own feelings and mindset.

Danielle

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 5:54 pm

Hi Jesse,

When I told my mom, I did the same things you did.

It was a pause and go kind of thing until I finally blurted it out.

What a stress relief that was! Good for you!!

I think you shouldn't be upset about the psychologist your mom asked you about. She is just getting to understand this whole lifestyle. There's so much to take in.

I didn't show my mom my clothes, but I did show her my Girl Talk Magazines. She asked all the normal questions, "Are you gay? Do you want to become a woman? . . . " These are just two of the questions you'll hear people report they were asked, when someone finds out about their CD'ing.

Her reactions of acceptance followed by a hesitance may be for other reasons. Don't get into her mind though, because most likely she's not thinking what you're thinking. The best avenue for communication is to ask her what she's thinking. You've opened up to her, why not continue to improve on your communication? Seriously, you deserve major kudos for what you've done already.

Even if she says something that could hurt you, I'm sure it will be because it sounded right for her in her mind. She's accepted you already, now you'll just need to grow with her. Trust me, this will also help when you meet someone special.

We are so all here for you, it's not even funny. :!::!::!:

Feel free to contact me if I can ever be of any help or if you have a question.

Your very open and honest post is a great step towards acceptance of yourself and innocently you've most likely helped someone who was were you were "X" amount of time ago.

Best wishes!!!
Beauty

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 7:42 pm

Thank you to everyone. I thought I would add some follow up. My mom had been suggesting a head docter for years before I ever told about me being a CD. This mostly to deal with issues I have with my father, when my parents got divorce I lived with my dad nearly all the time. However he has always had a way about yelling even when he talks. I think my mom wants me to a head doctor more these reasons than any other. However since my dad got remarried about 8 or 9 years ago my step-mom, a really cool woman, she chnagened him and he changend a whole lot. Still the biggest problem I have about seeing a head doctor is well yes $

MY health insurance belives it is not that important anymore. I do belive that someday I will talk with a profesional, A couple years ago I started but as I said the isurance sort cut that. HOwever I find writing and sometimes, and please no take no offense, talking with strangers. is easier. Still I like CD and I will let someone tell me that it has something to with my father or my mother be the issue of it. I choose this as we who human should always have the right to choose our own paths.
Did someone famous say that?

Still thankyou all for your words I plan to post how I first felt in the aproabit forum.
Jesse