my "beginning" were my attraction to fabrics

[Lynn Edwards]

a real beginning is hard to pin down. i always remember being attracted to women and their clothing. i have always enjoyed the feel and texture of fabric. early on i loved the feel silky smooth fabrics but now also enjoy embroidery, rouching, laces and highly textured fabrics.

i was probably first discovered in this 'admiration' by my mom when i was somewhere between 4 or 6. all i remember was my mom punished me for something, maybe she found me with my hands in her drawer fondling her panties, maybe i was in a corner holding her bra, i'm not really sure, but the end result was she made me sit on the couch wearing one of her rather large bra. funny i do remember everything about the bra, a lacy playtex cross your heart, maybe a 42D, i could have wrapped it around myself twice. anyhow, i was forced to sit there until my dad came home. looking back i must have looked silly but i felt so good, so at peace. growing up, everyone feared my dad, we'd hide when he was home, but for some reason the fear of him seeing me in that wonderful garment did not bother me. to me it was the beginning of a long road.

when i was maybe 8 or 9 i was up late at nite exploring my sister's closet. actually, we had one large walk in closet for all of us, two girls and two boys. the four of us kids slept in a huge one room second floor of a small bungalow.

so anyhow, i was doing my routine inventory, exploration and checking things for fit and finish when my older sister suddenly opened the door. there i stood frozen in one of her best school dresses three feet from my half asleep sister for about ten seconds. she then quietly backed away and closed the door. to this day nothing was ever said. i sometime wonder if she didn't really see me [she didn't turn on the light but there was plenty of lite from a full size window in the closet] or just didn't see anything wrong with what i was doing. it is possible that having a neighbor boy that wore dresses outside on a regular basis normalized it a little.

there was a set of twins [a boy and a girl] that live across the street from us. often during the summer you could see them playing together or riding their bikes, both in dresses. looking back their parents must have allowed this to go on.

anyhow, with one sister a year older and one 18 months younger than me, i always had pretty dresses and wonderful fabrics to admire and sample.

[Azurielle]

Seems like you had a pretty accpeting neighborhood.
Also, soft fabrics are the best. I secretly line the inside of my busines suits with egyptian cotton. That high school course that I found so pointless at first (hurray consmerism) finally paid off in the ultimate business comfort.

Also, I wish I had a sister to wardrobe-raid back then. My mothers' were always too gargantuan, yet so silky and tempting.

[Absaroka]

My story is different but your post did a wonderful job of evoking the thrill of exploring someones closet as a child. Thanks.
Absaroka

[Lynn Edwards]

i don't think we had a neighborhood that differed from any other. to be sure i did have neighbors that were 'different', maybe it was the parents but more likely it the boy, he sure acted as if there was nothing wrong with what he was doing. be most likely shared his sister clothes since birth and had just taken it outside and his parents were just allowing the boy to be himself.

the first time i noticed his behaviour i had assumed it was his sister riding the bike up and down his drive. i remember it in detail, it was an early spring day, he was 5 or 6, he was wearing a long dark grey winter coat [a girl's coat] over a slightly longer light colored dress. it was only when i saw his sister come outside too that i realized it was him on the bike. i'm talking about near identical twins, gender would have been hard to detect. but living directly across the street from them and being able to watch this show from my second story window made it easy for me to size up what was going on over the course of that summer.

the thing i cannot pinpoint is whether i began trying on my sister's dresses before or after i saw him in a dress. i'm sure that would help solve whether this whole thing is nurture or nature.

Seems like you had a pretty accpeting neighborhood.
Also, soft fabrics are the best. I secretly line the inside of my busines suits with egyptian cotton. That high school course that I found so pointless at first (hurray consmerism) finally paid off in the ultimate business comfort.

Also, I wish I had a sister to wardrobe-raid back then. My mothers' were always too gargantuan, yet so silky and tempting.

yes, for the finer fabrics it definately was my mom's things but for fit my older sister's things were a perfect fit.

[Ann Stef]

Sounds like a nice neighborhood. I enjoy the feeling of a silk dress rubbing against my nylon stockings while walking, so nice.