Paula is born

[Paula G]

I’m going to be a bit naughty, since this is not going to be about how “him” started crossdressing, that’s so far in the past that I really can’t remember. But mostly all cross dressing activities were limited to private, or dark secluded spots, often in the most inappropriate clothing, I think most of you will know what I mean.

Well one day a year or so ago it dawned on me that I was putting myself at serious risk, the potential was worse than discovery, after all these were the times and places that I would not let my wife or daughter go to on their own, so why should I dressed like that. So I had a couple of forays out fully dressed, that was when my SO found out and tried to stop me, I did my best to oblige but, well again I’m sure you all understand. Eventually I formed a cunning plan, I would get myself some gender inappropriate clothing, and just go out wearing them and see what happened. Bearing in mind that at the time I was still wearing a beard, this was maybe brave (a euphemism for stupid, as in “very brave minister”). I bought some white linen high wasted trousers, a blue top and a white tailored jacket, coupled with some white canvas flat shoes, quite a nice outfit, I still think so. Of course I already had more than enough undies. Then I had a day out in Brighton. Brighton is the UK’s newest city and has a reputation for liberalism, here I was able to walk around, interact with others, and have a totally nice day out. I did get a few looks, but no comments and so I felt liberated. From there I progressed wearing more and more fem garments in public, rarely getting any comments, although there was the memorable exchange;-
“’ere mate do you know you’re wearing a skirt”
“What! Oh no where did that come from?”

Then one day I bumped into an old friend whilst dressed, he took it well, but it made me think, how do I look, what am I saying to the world dressed like this. I took of the rose tinted specs and thought “this is ridiculous” Well it was time for the beard to come off, and to do some serious work on my presentation. Part of that work involved on line research, and joining this forum, this was when I realised that I needed a name, it was a no brainer, Paula was born. Paula is still very young and can make mistakes (see the pink metallic animal print tights that I just love http://cid-b78ac089d6a8c007.photos.live ... =244098519 ) but she is growing and finding out who she is. Interestingly Paula is not just a fem version of “him”, she is her own person, has her own personality, we drink different coffee, have different tastes. “Him” now studies what women actually wear not what he wishes they did wear, how they walk, sit, talk, he thinks about emulating a female (see http://www.femulate.org/ ) he thinks about where it is sensible to go, seeking occasions to vanish. Paula enjoys life more she just “is”.

Some of my recent adventures have made me think more about these issues, about who and what Paula is, I know I am very happy being Paula, but also that I’m not prepared to kill “him” off, indeed I think Paula makes “him” a nicer, kinder, stronger more masculine man, a stronger husband and father. I’m sure that the analysts could have a field day with this but somehow I think I’m more balanced, after all two heads are better than one!

[Davita]

You hit on one my problems. I have a fur face when I'm not Davita. I like my fur face.

You also mentioned being a "better man"; I think it's more like you're a better person. Myself, I've been trying to be one person for over a year now. It shouldn't matter what I'm wearing-- presenting male or female, I just want to be one person who can say, move, sound, look anyway I need to at any given moment. I want to be able to be that strong woman or weak man. Being Davita has made a difference in my humanity.