Crossdressers-Haven.com

When I was about 5 I was at my cousin's house with my mom and had an "accident" in my clothes. My mom cleaned me up but I had no change of clothes so she put me in my older cousin's white silky ruffled panties. I suppose this was to embarrass me into NOT letting this happen again. Didn't work!!! As I sat there in those panties, I can still remember the sensation as if it were yesterday. Man did I feel good, and just like I guess what a girl would feel like, all feminine and girly. Later I "found" mom's lingerie drawer while "exploring", and dad's Playboy magazines. Those pictures of the women in various states of undress, and almost always in some type on lingerie. Stockings and garter belts or the like, sexy high heels, and other articles of feminine clothing designed for the man's viewing pleasure. What a turn on. Then the trips to mom's lingerie drawer became more frequent. I somehow never got caught, amazingly. Then as I got older, it became off and on for a long while, but never far from my fantasizing mind. I dressed in secret to my extreme pleasure here and there, always with some form of sexual arousal and self gratification. I loved to look at myself in the mirror and see this "girl" looking back at me as I would pose and play visual make believe. I was married and divorced several times, all lengthy marriages, and divorced for reasons other than CD-ing. Then I married my current wife 12 years ago and the subject never came up, probably because I felt like some kind of weirdo-freak of nature. I knew there were other men who did this but thought THEY TOO were weirdo-freaks of nature also. then I had a dream where my wife said she would like me to dress in her panties as we had sex. I kept this from her until it just came out as I was in the bathroom and she, in the bedroom. When I told her, she said if that would make me happy then it was all right with her, and proceeded to open an underwear drawer where she kept some panties that she no longer wore or had outgrown and were too small for her anymore. Silky nylon, lace, various colors, and styles. I have settled on wearing bikini style and high cut panties in cotton, silky nylon, lace and lace-nylon types for different occasions and jobs. I also under-dress 24/7 and have started to polish my toenails and to wear nighties to bed. She says this is fine but that it does nothing for her in the sex department, which is fine for me. I could go either way but choose to honor her wishes, as she has allowed me to dress to some degree with no push back from her. I absolutely could not go out enfemme as I am manly looking with a mustache and she says , "while you are a good looking guy, you'd be a horrible looking woman."
Where this will go is anyone's guess but I will enjoy this freedom to be more feminine in my life as long as she says it's all good. I'm sorry for rambling, and there is much more to my story but I think you all get the drift. Suffice to say that life is good right now and am more balanced in my feelings than I have ever been in the past. Thanks for being patient. See you all in the chat soon, and I look forward to meeting more of you as time goes on. Bye for now...

Hi Ashley. As we progress in our steps it is best to just take our time and let our SO's adjust to each change. It's good that you don't push and upset the balance. As far as going out dressed and being an ugly woman. We are all Beautiful.

It must be good to have the acceptance of your SO, don't push too hard, just enjoy the experience.

Hi Ashley--
Thanks for posting that. I do enjoy the beginning stories, for the most part, and yours was good. The pantie 'punishment' I've never understood, no matter how many times I read that one of our members went through something like that. Why a parent would do that is beyond me.

Thanks Anita. Coming from another time in parenting, maybe they thought differently. Mom never found out that I know of. I have to remember that I'm 60,(1952...YIKES) and lots of things are different now. The parents did the best they could with the limited information they had, so... I can honestly say "Thanks mom for those ruffles and nylon." Who knows. I may not have ever found out how I feel without that incident. I'm so glad I did though. I love who I am and am glad Cris does too. That's the best part. To do this and not to have to hide it. Been there ...done that. And it sucks. I love all of you and am so blessed to have you in this part of my world.