My Origin into this Life

[Pam T.]

I realized I was different when I was a young boy or around 5 and those days you could run around the department store and not worry about anything happening. I think I was in the girls section and I saw so many frilly and soft clothing and I just think I loved the colors and so I think or at least this is what my mom tells me is that I came back to her with a few panties and a swimsuit asking if I could get these and she told me that boys don't wear these things and that its not for boys and its only girls.

I had to put them back and I was so upset. I had two older sisters that were a couple years older and I remember going into their room when they were not home and I opened a closet and saw so many beautiful pieces of clothing and I just started to look and feel the fabric and I was memorized and I didn't try anything on then but a few days later I did and I discovered a whole new world.

First it was dresses and skirts and shirts and blouses and everything else I could find. I would twirl around in circles and see myself in the mirror and it was so great. I then started to look through their underwear drawers and saw the pink panties and I guess my mom liked buying silk and satin panties as well for them and I tried them on and I liked them so much more than my boy underwear that were just so plain and boring.

I kept going into there clothes my entire school years and it got to the point that I asked my older sisters for there hand me downs without our mom knowing and they said okay and they gave them to me and I had to hide them.

I would put on some jeans and a t shirt and just walk around the neighborhood at night just to be out in public, it was such a rush.

When I was 18 I came out to my parents that I was gay and that pretty much ruined my relationship with my dad. My mom was very supportive of me still as well as my sisters who already knew for the longest.

As I got older and went to college I got involved in dressing up more and more and enjoying it and getting jobs at stores and record shops where they were cool with people like me that just wanted to express how I felt.

To this day where I dress up sometimes in public and I think I am more gender fluid these days and enjoy being a woman sometimes as well as being a man at times as well. I am not sure if I will ever get to the point of taking hormones even though I have seen a few therapists that are gender based. So who knows what the future holds for me. I just know that I will always enjoy dressing up like a woman and being a woman as well.

[DonnaT]

Nice you had the support of your sisters and mum.

[Requal Jo]

Thank you for sharing Pam. It is wonderful that you have support and people to discuss and express your feelings and decisions with.

[Pam T.]

I do feel good about the people that I have in my life, if they were never in it then I am sure that my life would be different that is for sure.